1. avatar Bileofwood
    Here is a song I'm about to demo to my band (just finished it now) - however I'm having some doubts.


    Is the piano too much? It would mean drafting in a new band member to play it, but I think keyboard in a rock band has a lot of merit.

    I think the biggest area of doubt is the whole instrumental section after the first chorus; it's quite heavy and out of place. But that actually endears me to it.

    You, as paragons of great taste, erdution and discernment, are requested to offer your advice and opinion for this tune. It's 6:20 long - should I reduce that by removing a minute or two of riffing? Or does it work quite well as it is?

    If you can spare a few minutes from your hectic sechedules, some feedback would be appreciated on this one.
  2. avatar greensleevesisgod
    The piano doesn't really add much to the song or this style of music. It is easy enough for another band member to play though, the other guitarist maybe (or the drummer? lol).

    Try and rearrange the middle section if you're keen on keeping it, which I wouldn't (It could be a whole other song). It doesnt really go anywhere. Theres no resolution. Unless you consider playing the intro of 'In Bloom' a musical tool to lift the music to greater heights.
    Use a middle section to build up upon just enough so that when you go back into the chorus or whatever it has a bigger impact.

    It's not really my cup 'o milk but I'd say; cut the song to about 3.30/ 4.00 at a push. How about listening to your favorite song of that genre and just writing out the structure and use it as a guide?

    Happy playing.
  3. avatar remaderyan
    I'd re-inforce what mr greensleeeves is saying.

    Seems like the song isnt sure what it is, I really liked the first bit but it didnt seem to 'fit' with the second bit, perhaps you were trying to hard to write a specific type of tune?

    You have two people singing, what I think was two different lyrics, thats never going to work, perhaps try making one be a bit quieter?

    From what I listened to (got bored after about 4min) I think you could cut that up into two songs, refine it and have some really good stuff coming out of it. The first minute to me couldhave been something spectacular but it wasnt. The second bit, a wee bit heavier would have been okay too, whilst not my sorta thing either it did seem ok, but it went on a bit liek.

    Could it be your trying too hard and have fluffed it? Dont get me wrong, i'm saying each bit is really good but it seems like sommat i've done when i'm struggling to write sommat and thats just stick everything in and hope for the best.
  4. avatar adamb1026
    The backing vocals in the 'chorus (?)' (only naomie) that dont follow the same words as the lead vocal, makes it confusing.

    The instrumental at 3.00 or so, is a bit long.

    You've got a good beginning, very pop-punk, which I listen to much of, then turns into an almost hard rock/metal sound.
  5. avatar Chi-Lite
    See if I was you, I wouldn't listen to any of these people.

    Sure what do they know? I'll tell ye, [i:ca298c00a7]buck all[/i:ca298c00a7].

    Do what you want bro. Look at Lou Reed.
  6. avatar EB
    The recurring "only naiome" around 4.40 is a bit boring but there is the making of a good song there or maybe two as others have said. It starts well and then wanders off a bit. Fair play for putting it up here for comments!
    What recording gear do you use?
  7. avatar Bileofwood
    Thanks for the feedback all, really :)

    It does confirm largely what I thought; the instrumental is rambling and irrelevant. I want to cut it down by about a minute, which I should be able to do if I really kill my darlings.

    I also belong to the Wildhearts Forum and I asked their opinion and they all liked the instrumental bit! So I guess I'm gonna have to go with what feels right. So I'm gonna keep a heavy riffing bit, just maybe not how it is now.

    About the vox, it is actually me harmizing with myself (this is only a "me" demo rtaher than a "band" demo at this stage) but the bits where I'm singing "only Naomie" was supposed to be the main hook of the song. I will try reducing that in the mix (it's astonishing how much difference the correct levels makes to a recording). ANd I'll deffo remove the second repetition of the chorus.

    As far as the piano goes it really is just a couple of major chords. That is more an indication of how I want it to sound. I've only really started playing with my keyboard, it's hard to find the time.

    To record, I have a fantastic device called a Digitech GNX4 (there is a 1-4 series, 4 being the best and most expensive buit I'm not sure if it actually sounds better than it's younger brothers). I also have an Edirol UA-25 USB sound interface. So basically I plug the 1/4 outputs of the GNX4 into the Edirol, and that plays straight through my computer speakers (a big old Marantz hi fi amplifier). The big advantage is that I record what I'm playing, with no loss of quality. So the bass, guitars and piano plug stright into the GNX4 and then to the PC. It even has a phantom powered SLR mic socket for my condensor mic (and noisegate for that, which is great with a noisy PC in the same room). For the drums I use a tool called PC Drummer with a customized set of samples.
  8. avatar Bileofwood
    OK, for those of you who commented, I have amended the song!


    I have removed all piano bits - not because I don't like them, just because we don't have a pianist in the band! I might add some piano for my own pleasure at some point, but right now I am after somethign raw. The song is over a minute shorter, and I don't see any way of bringing that down further.

    It's the first one by the way, Only Naomie.