Just to assuage my guilty conscience, I have never met you and I'm sure you're a beautiful human being who is cherished by friends and loved by family. I'm also sure you're a devastatingly handsome individual, charming, thoughtful and good with animals and small children. Did I mention you're also rumoured to be a Renaissance man-a polymath-a character who has equal expertise in a wide range of areas? A rare specimen and an example to all. And hung like a pony.