1. avatar fletch_belfast
    So I walked into my local branch today to get a statement printed out, which I do sometimes if I've lost track of things a wee bit and need to check some figures; and yer woman tells me they now charge 2 to provide this 'service'.

    Why exactly should I give you 2 to see the particulars of my bank account..?

    So she offers to have a statement sent to me every month right, which is a complete waste of paper, 'cos any statement that comes out always seems to be about 2 weeks out of date, therefore missing all the recent info (which is what you wanted)

    When I suggest that she just print me out a statement, and never bother sending me a statement in the post again, she denies me this.

    Anyone else..? Is there a bank that doesn't try and shaft us? Seriously considering closing my account as I hate these people.
  2. avatar Pete
    Internet Banking? Phone Banking?
  3. avatar feline1
    Instead of coming on the Interweb to complain about how slow and expensive it is to have a bank post you a bit of paper with your recent transactions on,
    why don't you come on the the Interweb and log in to your bank and look at your most recent transactions? (And then send postcards to all your friends about it, by 2nd clawws post).
  4. avatar Orzo
    Tell them you want to take out a loan. They'll take you into a room, print out your history and then you can tell them you'll consider it and take the statement with you.

    Obviously that's ridiculous. TBH I'd change banks and put your money somewhere else, preferably somewhere that's not a bank.

    People tend not to shop around but they really should.
  5. avatar supershedseven
    Shareholders + Bubbely = good times :lol:
  6. avatar fletch_belfast
    [quote:bdb5b01123="Pete"]Internet Banking? Phone Banking?[/quote:bdb5b01123]

    Should have mentioned:

    No way would I ever trust internet banking, so that rules that out.

    I DO use telephone banking, but it only gives you amounts that go in and out, not actual details of what they were for. ie. you look at ur statement and see the code or whatever that you know must be a certain bill that u recognise
  7. avatar The Ronster
    Weirdly paranoid there.

    Internet banking is no different security-wise from walking into a branch. Probably more secure, since there's no-one looking at your deets.
  8. avatar That Man Fanjo
    Banks.
    Anyone who is even remotely associated with one should be fucked with a cactus, then killed.
    Then revived, using some weird necromancy, then cactus-fucked and killed again.

    [b:18c44554f7]First Trust[/b:18c44554f7]. Prime example. They fuck me over three times in one month, and cancel the direct debit that pays my fucking [i:18c44554f7]mortgage[/i:18c44554f7]. (Cost to me? 125) Why? because I was seven quid short for the mortgage payment.
    Wankholes.

    THEN... I'm undergoing a few... erm... legalistical-stylee problemos. For which I need bank statements. Twelve months worth, to be precise.
    So I phone the bestialists up, and ask politely for a year's worth of statements, s'il vous plait. (And before anyone says the bleedin' obvious "Why don't you already have the statements in your possession?" - it's because whenever I get a statement, I don't even open the fucker... just tear it into shreds, burn it, and cast the ashes to the four winds. It's the only [i:18c44554f7]sane [/i:18c44554f7]way to deal with one's finances).

    Anyway, stop distracting me, you bastards.
    Yeah, statements... year's worth. Okay.
    So the lady on the tellingbone says: "Not a problem, sir. [I like it when they call me sir] That will be 10.00 per page."
    [b:18c44554f7]Per page.[/b:18c44554f7]
    Ten of her infernal majesty's pounds sterling [i:18c44554f7][b:18c44554f7]PER PAGE[/b:18c44554f7][/i:18c44554f7].
    How the fuck to they work that out? Is the paper made from gilt-covered unicorn scrotums? Is the ink made from the last bottle of Beaujolais recovered from the Titanic, mixed with the blood of Jesus Fucking Christ (no offence intended)?
    Ten pounds a page?

    I politely said "No thank you," to the lady (no point in being rude to these fuckers, even though hell will not be full until each and every last one of them is in it).

    Hung up.

    Went and drank a glass of paint.

    Felt much better.






    A lesson for us all there.
  9. avatar fletch_belfast
    What about this data protection act malarky? U know the way u can request to see all the details held about you from various places?

    Would ur bank transactions maybe fall into that bracket and u'd have a right to request them for free..?

    Ring ur C.A.B
  10. avatar 10rapid
    There are obviously too many mother uckers uckin with your shi.
  11. avatar DontPetABurningDog
    Data Protection Act permits a "nominal fee" for such a service, I fear. Definition of "nominal" is suitably nebulous.
  12. avatar Reckoner
    [quote:677164ea83="10rapid"]There are obviously too many mother uckers uckin with your shi.[/quote:677164ea83]
    His weekly statement shi.

    My mum works for Northern Bank. This thread upsets me.
  13. avatar my-angel-rocks
    [quote:2ad0094290="That Man Fanjo"]Ten of her infernal majesty's pounds sterling [i:2ad0094290][b:2ad0094290]PER PAGE[/b:2ad0094290][/i:2ad0094290].
    How the fuck to they work that out?[/quote:2ad0094290]

    Because after a certain length of time the records are all put onto microfiche and its a complete pain in the arse to find them all.
  14. avatar feline1
    [quote:b2811cd741="my-angel-rocks"][quote:b2811cd741="That Man Fanjo"]Ten of her infernal majesty's pounds sterling [i:b2811cd741][b:b2811cd741]PER PAGE[/b:b2811cd741][/i:b2811cd741].
    How the fuck to they work that out?[/quote:b2811cd741]

    Because after a certain length of time the records are all put onto microfiche and its a complete pain in the arse to find them all.[/quote:b2811cd741]


    MICROFICHE?!?!?

    And where in the name of f*ck would they get a MICROFICHE reader in 2009?!? The ULSTER MUSEUM!?!?
  15. avatar noelyg05
    [quote:43224bc45e="That Man Fanjo"]Banks.
    Anyone who is even remotely associated with one should be fucked with a cactus, then killed.
    Then revived, using some weird necromancy, then cactus-fucked and killed again.

    [b:43224bc45e]First Trust[/b:43224bc45e]. Prime example. They fuck me over three times in one month, and cancel the direct debit that pays my fucking [i:43224bc45e]mortgage[/i:43224bc45e]. (Cost to me? 125) Why? because I was seven quid short for the mortgage payment.
    Wankholes.

    THEN... I'm undergoing a few... erm... legalistical-stylee problemos. For which I need bank statements. Twelve months worth, to be precise.
    So I phone the bestialists up, and ask politely for a year's worth of statements, s'il vous plait. (And before anyone says the bleedin' obvious "Why don't you already have the statements in your possession?" - it's because whenever I get a statement, I don't even open the fucker... just tear it into shreds, burn it, and cast the ashes to the four winds. It's the only [i:43224bc45e]sane [/i:43224bc45e]way to deal with one's finances).

    Anyway, stop distracting me, you bastards.
    Yeah, statements... year's worth. Okay.
    So the lady on the tellingbone says: "Not a problem, sir. [I like it when they call me sir] That will be 10.00 per page."
    [b:43224bc45e]Per page.[/b:43224bc45e]
    Ten of her infernal majesty's pounds sterling [i:43224bc45e][b:43224bc45e]PER PAGE[/b:43224bc45e][/i:43224bc45e].
    How the fuck to they work that out? Is the paper made from gilt-covered unicorn scrotums? Is the ink made from the last bottle of Beaujolais recovered from the Titanic, mixed with the blood of Jesus Fucking Christ (no offence intended)?
    Ten pounds a page?

    I politely said "No thank you," to the lady (no point in being rude to these fuckers, even though hell will not be full until each and every last one of them is in it).

    Hung up.

    Went and drank a glass of paint.

    Felt much better.






    A lesson for us all there.[/quote:43224bc45e]




    This is one of the best posts i've seen on this forum :lol:
  16. avatar my-angel-rocks
    [quote:4986cbff5c="feline1"][quote:4986cbff5c="my-angel-rocks"][quote:4986cbff5c="That Man Fanjo"]Ten of her infernal majesty's pounds sterling [i:4986cbff5c][b:4986cbff5c]PER PAGE[/b:4986cbff5c][/i:4986cbff5c].
    How the fuck to they work that out?[/quote:4986cbff5c]

    Because after a certain length of time the records are all put onto microfiche and its a complete pain in the arse to find them all.[/quote:4986cbff5c]


    MICROFICHE?!?!?

    And where in the name of f*ck would they get a MICROFICHE reader in 2009?!? The ULSTER MUSEUM!?!?[/quote:4986cbff5c]

    Hence the tenner per page, its expensive to hire these things from the ulster museum.
  17. avatar feline1
    [quote:6fd5d53fed="my-angel-rocks"][quote:6fd5d53fed="feline1"][quote:6fd5d53fed="my-angel-rocks"][quote:6fd5d53fed="That Man Fanjo"]Ten of her infernal majesty's pounds sterling [i:6fd5d53fed][b:6fd5d53fed]PER PAGE[/b:6fd5d53fed][/i:6fd5d53fed].
    How the fuck to they work that out?[/quote:6fd5d53fed]

    Because after a certain length of time the records are all put onto microfiche and its a complete pain in the arse to find them all.[/quote:6fd5d53fed]


    MICROFICHE?!?!?

    And where in the name of f*ck would they get a MICROFICHE reader in 2009?!? The ULSTER MUSEUM!?!?[/quote:6fd5d53fed]

    Hence the tenner per page, its expensive to hire these things from the ulster museum.[/quote:6fd5d53fed]

    All the records are generated on and stored on computer, you silly person.
  18. avatar Orzo
    You must request a details of your charges with a Subject Access Request under the Data Protection Act.

    The maximum allowed charge for all of this information is 10. If you just ask for statement copies, you may and can be charged per statement.

    Here's a template letter:
    http://www3.moneysavingexpert.com/files/bank_charges_templates/letter1.rtf
  19. avatar my-angel-rocks
    Thats weird, because the pages of old statements I've had to request from my bank are clearly copies from microfiche.

    Microfiche/microfilm is a lot better as an archieve format than a computer hard drive and are accepted in a court as a substitute for the original documents.
  20. avatar Dr Harley
    I think the ludicrous rise in charges for getting statements printed is all down to when, over the last few years, people quite rightfully and quite successfully went full force claiming back unreasonabe bank charges for blowing their overdraft limit. I've been charged 35 quite a few times for blowing my overdraft over something like a packet of cigs.

    10 per sheet kind of puts you off going down the claiming back road since it's probably going to cost you more to get the proof and work out what you're owed.
  21. avatar karenmquinn
    The price of a copy of a bank statement is quite frankly ridiculous.

    As part of my delightful occupation I am quite frequently asking clients to get me 12 months worth of bank statements and somethimes even 3 years worth, inevitably they dont have them and have to request them from the bank and run into this problem of 'well sir,that will be one million quid, your heart and lungs please?'

    Its sounds insanely obvious but, well, hold onto your bank statements. They are frequently required when opening new bank accounts, providing proof of your address, income, ability to to get credit including mortagages. I never really understand why people throw them away, but I still dont think they should be able to charge that amount of money for a computer print-out.

    I know that doesn't help you Fanjo, I would recommend you go into the bank and explain exactly why you need the statements and there is no way you can afford to pay those fees, for want of a better phrase give em a bit of an aul sob story.
  22. avatar remaderyan
    What a load of balls.


    Firstly Internet banking is just as secure as going into the branch and asking for it, especially in the northern bank.

    What do you think they use to bring up your information on the computer, yes thats right the internet... Your information is stored over in denmark on a great big mainframe, when you go online your going thru exactly the same technology that the staff in the bank are using. Only you are the only one getting to judge yourself.

    Now Telephone banking is a lot older and easier to abuse. fool.


    10 for a statement is a pile of wnak, they're reading records straight off a database. With the mortgage business drying up and the bank charges heyday coming to an end (probably) they're looking at new sources of income.

    threaten to leave and they'll probably do it for free.



    Everyone goes quoting the Data Protection Act which is a real missunderstanding of the entire law. You'll be able to see what personal details they hold on you. As far as I'm aware the accounts arent personal details, they're details of accounts so probably arent covered.


    Banks screw people over, end of.
  23. avatar jcordner
    Its a service, take it or leave it. No-one is forcing you to use their/any bank and it is not essential to living, but if used wisely can making living more comfortable.

    I'll sell you my 5 note for 10... not a fan of that deal then walk away and don't take me up on it, same with banks. There are many many many benefits to banks ie. It is possible to own a house. but i don't see 50 fastfude threads on "how my bank helped me keep a healthy cashflow"!

    in summary, take it or leave it on their conditions, and suck it up if you do decided to take on their conditions.
  24. avatar Deestroyer
    [quote:d8907a089a="jcordner"]Its a service, take it or leave it. No-one is forcing you to use their/any bank and it is not essential to living, but if used wisely can making living more comfortable.

    I'll sell you my 5 note for 10... not a fan of that deal then walk away and don't take me up on it, same with banks. There are many many many benefits to banks ie. It is possible to own a house. but i don't see 50 fastfude threads on "how my bank helped me keep a healthy cashflow"!

    in summary, take it or leave it on their conditions, and suck it up if you do decided to take on their conditions.[/quote:d8907a089a]
    So basically they do screw you over, but your problem is everyone should be alright with it? What sort of neo-con nonsense is that?
  25. avatar fletch_belfast
    By the sounds of things him and the other guy work for a bank/the Northern bank.

    And I believe you ARE forced to open a bank account, I'm not aware of any employers that will pay u cash in an envelope anymore.., and thus u are required to open an account with one of the many money-grabbing risk-taking bastards around, or you can just not work and live in a cave and catch ur own dinner.
  26. avatar remaderyan
    Yep i did work for the Northern Bank doing IT.

    Being on the other end of it IS FANTASTIC. Never had to buy myself a pint, started on more than average wages, great pension, staff mortgage, cheap loans, huge christmas bonuses, great holidays, overtime, 35 hour working week.

    Got given 6 months pay to be made redundant and I was only there 3 years.

    FANTASTIC. makes me smile thinking about it.

    Since then i've worked for at least three other UK banks and its just as much fun.

    You can open an account in the post office which I believe is a bit fairer.

    I'm not trying to justify what banks do, I think it is shit, unless you work for them. But its a business, not a charity or a public service.

    The best thing they ever did was get the government to say that you must have an account for almost everything.
  27. avatar feline1
    [quote:539c9321df="my-angel-rocks"]Thats weird, because the pages of old statements I've had to request from my bank are clearly copies from microfiche.

    Microfiche/microfilm is a lot better as an archieve format than a computer hard drive and are accepted in a court as a substitute for the original documents.[/quote:539c9321df]


    Sounds to me you've, quite fittingly, found a bank as ludicrous as you deserve, my copyright-trashing pal.

    HSBC will send me statements for free, within 3 working days.
    YEO!!!!!!!!
  28. avatar supershedseven
    Loving this thread so much :D
  29. avatar feline1
    Anyways, who wants to support a new law whereby, if you've had a bank account for over 50 years, it becomes "public domain", and anyone is free to withdraw your money
    (as you'll have had AMPLE opportunity to spend it)

    Large bank accounts only benefit the big earners - show me real evidence of any poor people who will benefit from being overdrawn for over 50 years.
  30. avatar That Man Fanjo
    [quote="karenmquinn"]
    As part of my delightful occupation I am quite frequently asking clients to get me 12 months worth of bank statements and somethimes even 3 years worth, inevitably they dont have them and have to request them from the bank and run into this problem of 'well sir,that will be one million quid, your heart and lungs please?'[quote]

    Well, I'm assuming (and my assumptions are never, ever wrong) that yours is the kind of occupation that I'm currently making use of in order to meander my way gracefully through the minefield of legal shitebombs that stretches before me.

    A million quid? Heart and lungs? House? Dog [[i:0228f70ece]Spowgli, Hound of Vengeance[/i:0228f70ece]]? Dignity (No chance, I sacrificed that the first time I picked up a microphone)? Soul (good luck finding [i:0228f70ece]that [/i:0228f70ece] wretched, withered, blackened splattering of roadkill)? Balls (ditto, but follow your nose)?

    Y'get the drift, genii.



    But.

    The banks have my money.

    Which means their job is to do what I fucking well tell them.

    I mean, I know MY job. I do it, and when I have to do something above and beyond that, I do it as well. I don't ask for extra money. My "customers" (students) deserve to have the job done right.
    So. If the bog-snorkling bank is going to ask me for 35 quid for fuck all, or 10 for a piece of paper, then I demand the right to ask them to do my bidding.

    And in this case, my bidding is for them to jam a Biro into their windpipe.


    Face facts here... they're bastards and they know they are.
    They've admitted as much on this very forum, and so I feel thoroughly justified in bringing about Armageddon.

    Anyone with me?
  31. avatar feline1
    Look, if you hadn't made Feline cut their set short back in April 1995 in Robinson's Bottom Bar, it could all have been VERY different!
    What goes around comes around, etc etc :roll:
  32. avatar That Man Fanjo
    [quote:032b793294="feline1"]Look, if you hadn't made Feline cut their set short back in April 1995 in Robinson's Bottom Bar, it could all have been VERY different!
    What goes around comes around, etc etc :roll:[/quote:032b793294]


    I heard you liked it in the Bottom Bar.


    And for the umptillionth time, it wasn't me who made you cry that day.

    Why must I be held responsible for all of Big Red Dawn's sins?
    I mean, if former BRD drummer [i:032b793294][name deleted on legal advice][/i:032b793294] was arrested for stealing laundry from a nurses' home (or indeed a [i:032b793294]nursing [/i:032b793294]home) would I be responsible for [b:032b793294]that[/b:032b793294]?

    So, stop blaming me when we all know it was the banks what done it all along.
  33. avatar 10rapid
    [quote:7dd6f4a948]His weekly statement shi.
    [/quote:7dd6f4a948]

    His Trans-actional shi.