1. avatar frajam
    Sure it only took them seven and a half years.

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/7672083.stm
  2. avatar Sadoldgit
    I`m sure a few lawyers are rubbing their hands in glee..
  3. avatar The Ronster
    Do you think she finally twigged she was married to someone who has never made a decent flick in his life?
  4. avatar The enfant terrible
    I usually rate your opinions on here about the fillums but I have to say Lock, Stock and Snatch are two very good films. What ballsed up his career was her sticking her oar in.
  5. avatar frajam
    I actually feel more sorry for the kid they adopted. First gets adopted and will no doubt be the center of an ongoing custody battle. That in the space of a year r so is some going like.
  6. avatar The Ronster
    [quote:b0cc51e88b="The enfant terrible"]I usually rate your opinions on here about the fillums but I have to say Lock, Stock and Snatch are two very good films. What ballsed up his career was her sticking her oar in.[/quote:b0cc51e88b]

    Nah, they are over-stylised glamourisations of a faux-cockney perceived reality featuring characters that would never exist in reality. They riff endlessly on the work of more accomplished film-makers and are built on the adolescent fantasies of a middle class twerp who should really know better. Clearly Guy Ritchie thinks guns and geezers are 'cool' (they aren't) and has a hardon for 'flashy' visuals and what he thinks are 'edgy' stories.

    Swept Away and Revolver just showed the world what I always knew - the Emperor has no clothes.

    As for Madonna, at least she has a significant body of work behind her which is more than Guy will ever be able to say.
  7. avatar The enfant terrible
    [quote="The Ronster"][quote:a610db8424="The enfant terrible"]I usually rate your opinions on here about the fillums but I have to say Lock, Stock and Snatch are two very good films. What ballsed up his career was her sticking her oar in.[/quote:a610db8424]

    [quote="The Ronster"]Nah, they are over-stylised glamourisations of a faux-cockney perceived reality featuring characters that would never exist in reality. They riff endlessly on the work of more accomplished film-makers and are built on the adolescent fantasies of a middle class twerp who should really know better. {/quote]

    They aren't supposed to be firmly rooted in reality, there's a fair amount of comedy involved in the characters and storytelling, each to their own though.

    [quote:a610db8424="The Ronster"]As for Madonna, at least she has a significant body of work behind her which is more than Guy will ever be able to say.[/quote:a610db8424]

    Not with film she doesn't.
  8. avatar Thedevilsfavouriteson
    [quote="The Ronster
    Nah, they are over-stylised glamourisations of a faux-cockney perceived reality featuring characters that would never exist in reality..[/quote]

    hell boy theres a character that could exist in reality tho.
  9. avatar The Ronster
    :roll:

    I know you're being facetious for the sake of it, but I did actually address that very point where you quoted me.

    Guy Ritchie's first two films were set in a world that [i:e5db4830db]he believes[/i:e5db4830db] to be the grim and gritty reality of gangsterdom. The cheeky chappies, diamond geezers, cockney wide-boys - the lot. Bizarrely a lot of people bought into this and went to see the movies. Mostly middle-class blokes like Guy Ritchie who've never been near anything more violent than a boxing match at Eton or Harrow.

    Hellboy is a character in a film that is [i:e5db4830db]clearly[/i:e5db4830db] a fantasy, and as such behaves consistently inside that world. I'd even go as far to say that Hellboy is more believable as a character than any of the ridiculous dickheads that populate Ritchie's flicks.

    Of course the other obvious downside of Ritchie's success was the terrible wave of mockney gangster films that followed, each trying to out-do the last in how heavily stylised the violence could be and how much of a BAWSTID the villian was. I can only think of a couple of notable exceptions - Sexy Beast and Layer Cake.

    [quote:e5db4830db]They aren't supposed to be firmly rooted in reality, there's a fair amount of comedy involved in the characters and storytelling, each to their own though.
    [/quote:e5db4830db]

    It's tedious, lowest-common denominator film-making and about as interesting to me as waiting for milk to curdle. The so-called comedy more often than not involves over-the-top violence, or people reacting to it.

    I know I'm somewhat on my own with this (as no-one seems to be agreeing with me!), but there you have it. I bought Lock Stock on DVD when it came out after hearing from everyone that it was the bee's knees, I barely got 30 mins into it before I wanted to put my boot through the TV. And I 100% guarantee I've seen Snatch more than anyone alive, since when it came out to rent I worked in a video shop in Stranmillis with the strict instruction to keep it playing all day every day as we had 15 copies and needed to rent the fucker!

    Of course, this led to some interesting discussions I had to have to with parents of small kids who weren't expecting to see/hear violence and colourful language at 2 in the afternoon when all they wanted was a Thomas The Tank Engine video and an ice-cream.

    So yeah, I hate Guy Ritchie films, and Hellboy is more realistic in context.
  10. avatar The enfant terrible
    Here Snatch is cool and you just can't hack it. Plus I don't believe your story because when I was a kid we rented the dodgy horror flicks out of the local vid shop and we loved a bit of the oul non-realistic violence.

    Seriously though, going to Ant-rim in Hellboy is up there with the worst bit of sci-fi for me, including Howard the Duck.
  11. avatar Steven Dedalus
    [quote:f1ac0b32bd="The enfant terrible"]

    Seriously though, going to Ant-rim in Hellboy is up there with the worst bit of sci-fi for me, including Howard the Duck.[/quote:f1ac0b32bd]

    They should have gone to the Castle Centre, and read the magazines in Easons, providing an eeirly realistic portrayal of my childhood.

    That would have made HellBoy the most 'realistic' film ever made, as far as I'm concerned.
  12. avatar Thedevilsfavouriteson
    [quote:65365f94f3="The Ronster"]:roll:

    I know you're being facetious for the sake of it, but I did actually address that very point where you quoted me.

    Guy Ritchie's first two films were set in a world that [i:65365f94f3]he believes[/i:65365f94f3] to be the grim and gritty reality of gangsterdom. The cheeky chappies, diamond geezers, cockney wide-boys - the lot. Bizarrely a lot of people bought into this and went to see the movies. Mostly middle-class blokes like Guy Ritchie who've never been near anything more violent than a boxing match at Eton or Harrow.

    Hellboy is a character in a film that is [i:65365f94f3]clearly[/i:65365f94f3] a fantasy, and as such behaves consistently inside that world. I'd even go as far to say that Hellboy is more believable as a character than any of the ridiculous dickheads that populate Ritchie's flicks.

    Of course the other obvious downside of Ritchie's success was the terrible wave of mockney gangster films that followed, each trying to out-do the last in how heavily stylised the violence could be and how much of a BAWSTID the villian was. I can only think of a couple of notable exceptions - Sexy Beast and Layer Cake.

    [quote:65365f94f3]They aren't supposed to be firmly rooted in reality, there's a fair amount of comedy involved in the characters and storytelling, each to their own though.
    [/quote:65365f94f3]

    It's tedious, lowest-common denominator film-making and about as interesting to me as waiting for milk to curdle. The so-called comedy more often than not involves over-the-top violence, or people reacting to it.

    I know I'm somewhat on my own with this (as no-one seems to be agreeing with me!), but there you have it. I bought Lock Stock on DVD when it came out after hearing from everyone that it was the bee's knees, I barely got 30 mins into it before I wanted to put my boot through the TV. And I 100% guarantee I've seen Snatch more than anyone alive, since when it came out to rent I worked in a video shop in Stranmillis with the strict instruction to keep it playing all day every day as we had 15 copies and needed to rent the fucker!

    Of course, this led to some interesting discussions I had to have to with parents of small kids who weren't expecting to see/hear violence and colourful language at 2 in the afternoon when all they wanted was a Thomas The Tank Engine video and an ice-cream.

    So yeah, I hate Guy Ritchie films, and Hellboy is more realistic in context.[/quote:65365f94f3]

    i was indeed.

    i have to say i enjoyed all prefore mentioned films.i dont think theyre meant to reflect true life in the 'gritty hardcore underworld'. id say this is fairly obvious from the stylistic way the films are presented. its not meant to be a documentary. more comparable to tarintinos vision of kill bill as 'the movies the guy outta resivoir dogs would go see in the cinema in thier world'. an exaggeration of reality.
    layer cake is the most plausable one that could have actualy taken place.and to be honest probably has to a degree.tho this was based on a novel and not just ritchies perception of the gangstar underworld.
    however most of his films are likely to have some loose basis in reality the crays for instance lived a life not unlike ritchies movies,in a slightly different time but none the less.

    all in all not much to do with the divorce.
  13. avatar trepanner
    Apologies if this gag has already been done - almost certainly it has - but every time The Ronster cuts loose I cannot help but see this image of him in my mind's slightly bloodshot eye :

    [img:1d8c07b3f6]http://www.thesimpsonsquotes.com/images/comicguypoint.gif[/img:1d8c07b3f6]
  14. avatar tinpot anto
    [b:e1c5d0dde5]LIONEL RITCHIE AND MARADONA TO DIVORCE[/b:e1c5d0dde5]
  15. avatar The Ronster
    [quote:cb4b92f607="Thedevilsfavouriteson"]
    layer cake is the most plausable one that could have actualy taken place.and to be honest probably has to a degree.tho this was based on a novel and not just ritchies perception of the gangstar underworld.[/quote:cb4b92f607]

    Except Layer Cake was directed by Matthew Vaughan, Guy Ritchie's producer on Lock Stock and Snatch. On the face of his first few flicks he appears to be an infinitely more talented director than the oiksome Ritchie. Layer Cake and Stardust were both pretty good. I'm a tad concerned for Kick-Ass, which is an adaptation of a book that revels in stylised violence, and a bit of a step backwards for a film-maker who seems to have plenty of visual imagination in him.

    As for Trepanner's idea of me? Yeah, that's pretty accurate, although you what you can't see in that picture is me turning down YOUR MA! :lol:
  16. avatar tinpot anto
    I don't see what's to hate about Lock, Stock and Snatch. It's just cartoon pantomine stuff, big 2D characters, a few good jokey set pieces strung together with a hammy ott plot all in a nice slick package.

    Not brilliant by any standards but certainly watchable and even enjoyable.

    Layer Cake deserves it's ubiquitous and conspicuous status as the film that always seems to stuff the 2 bargain bins in Tesco's, it's just dull crap.

    I hadn't realised that it was the same director as Stardust, which I loved.
  17. avatar Thedevilsfavouriteson
    so did guy ritchie not have anything to do with layer cake.
  18. avatar karenmquinn
    I liked lock stock and snatch. a good oul 'geezer' romp.
    The Ronster is obviously a total film snob, I wouldnt listen to what he says.
  19. avatar Dirty Stevie Grizz
    Hopefully as an ageing divorcee Madonna will now, for the love of God, put it away.
  20. avatar blonderedhead
    Now as she is back on the market, I can only see things getting worse
  21. avatar The Ronster
    [quote:65ef56b8b5="Thedevilsfavouriteson"]so did guy ritchie not have anything to do with layer cake.[/quote:65ef56b8b5]

    Not a thing. Which is why its half decent!
  22. avatar PhatBob
    [quote:94ddcd4ee1]Now as she is back on the market, I can only see things getting worse[/quote:94ddcd4ee1]

    Yes - worse for the state of my old tadger as I will now be compelled to buck holes in her bony frame while looking at the pictures out of that mucky book she released to distract from her current appearance.

    I used to love/lust after her something awful.
  23. avatar The Ronster
    :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:
  24. avatar my-angel-rocks
    [quote:c0ced01792="PhatBob"]I used to love/lust after her something awful.[/quote:c0ced01792]

    My boss said something similar to us today.
    Sadly its not the worst thing he's said to us this week.
  25. avatar PhatBob
    I don't think its that weird that I thought she was a quare buck when I was younger - she was pretty fit back in the day.

    (And I always had a thing for that kind of easy sexy slag vibe...probably due to a p0rn overdose in my formative years)

    I'm glad we can share so much. 8)

    So what was a worse thing your boss said?
  26. avatar Chi-Lite
    My boss recently said to a female colleague;

    "shut you up, or I'll fire one right up ye!"

    seriously
  27. avatar PhatBob
    :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

    That's wholly unacceptable in the workplace.

    Did he used to be a pimp?
  28. avatar tinpot anto
    Is your boss not Peter Robinson/Martin McGuinnes?
  29. avatar Chi-Lite
    Yes.

    He also has a habit of saying;
    "Come in to my office and I'll fill you in...I'll fill ye rightly".

    Nah, I'm only slegging, it's not actually Peter or Marty; my editor, should i say.
  30. avatar tinpot anto
    I can think of about 5 people who post here who know exactly who you're talking about. I'm gonna have an oul google to find out :)


    It's funnier though if you imagine Peter Robinson Saying "I'll fire one right up ye" :lol:
  31. avatar Chi-Lite
    Well, if I told you what I've heard [i:63f56d5bdb]him[/i:63f56d5bdb] say, I'd have the cops on me before you could say "I fell down the stairs, nurse".
  32. avatar T Entertainment
    Do you work for Hansard Marty?
  33. avatar Chi-Lite
    ssshhhhh.

    By the way, Chris, I've heard stories about you and Duncan Shipley Dalton's porn and blade collection.

    :-D
  34. avatar PhatBob
    [quote:cb48f38751]It's funnier though if you imagine Peter Robinson Saying "I'll fire one right up ye[/quote:cb48f38751]

    Imagine him saying it to Martin...*shudder*
  35. avatar T Entertainment
    I know a load of the Hansardians, good bunch. How did they let you in? :p

    Ah, oul Duncs.
  36. avatar Chi-Lite
    With my integrity, scholasticism and general learned-ness! Sure they were bateing down the door. :lol:
  37. avatar RabbBennett
    not that I care about madge and guy breaking up, but for the last year she has been going out with a 33yr bloke with the nickname
    "A ROD" :lol:

    ( Alex Rodriguez )
  38. avatar my-angel-rocks
    [quote:0ecbd74da6="PhatBob"]So what was a worse thing your boss said?[/quote:0ecbd74da6]

    He went into details about how he made money as a student. It wasn't pleasent and not really over dinner conversation.