1. avatar T Entertainment
    Is on BBC1 at 10.40 and features him boking copiously all over a cowshed.
  2. avatar drakeguild
    Null Entry.
    Last edited on , 1 times in total.
  3. avatar kickintheteeth
    arousing :smt008
  4. avatar The Ronster
    I just texted a comment, lets see if its aired.

    I'm always on the Nolan show. 4 times in the last month!
  5. avatar ryanego
    That right there was probably the best thing thats ever been on television. The sight of "no nonsense" Nolan crying "I can't" and then throwing up repeatedly whilst havin to muck out the cows. brilliant.
  6. avatar Dirty Stevie Grizz
    there is too much going on in that show. Its trying too hard technology-wise

    the farmer should have had Nolan harvesting the semen from the bull prior to the insemination.
  7. avatar kingmob
    [quote:069bab5091="drakeguild"]I heard a remark Gerry Anderson made about him that he took his wife for a romantic weekend for 2 to the Tayto factory for Valentines day.[/quote:069bab5091]

    Nolan has a beard now?
  8. avatar T Entertainment
    Ron, you are the undisputed king of the new interactive TV dispensation.
  9. avatar I'mDead
    the normally unbearable Chris Moyles impersonating Nolan live on Radio 1 last week was priceless. "Dog cr*p...thats outreageous.....call now"! (in rubbish belfast accent).
  10. avatar Shane
    Oooh, if he's not careful Nolan'll have him on again demanding explanations for his mocking of the Northern Irish nation! Did anyone hear that? I didn't but I heard Chris Moyles talked rings around him.
  11. avatar drakeguild
    Null Entry.
    Last edited on , 1 times in total.
  12. avatar T Entertainment
    Gah - I'm getting a redirect to the main Moyles page and can't find the file - anyone got the right link?
  13. avatar whosbainejakey
    "Save as", dummy.
  14. avatar Kingnez
    http://s3.amazonaws.com/LiveMDBBucket/stu-233266@suffolk.ac.uk/LFKJfEn8pK?AWSAccessKeyId=0AK9DYMC2DADZ4F2FAG2&Expires=1175770938&Signature=PDLZsFot73dZtK6NpZNq6E933hc%3D
  15. avatar T Entertainment
    Tonight: Spide children! Fat people! And traffic wardens!
  16. avatar 3cigarettes
    Teehee, this is hilarious :lol:

    NAT ALL 12 YER OLDS ARE HOWLIGUNS TILL THEY'RE NAT

    IF THE TEACHER HAD SOME AUTHARITILL IN THE CLASSROOM THE WEE FELLA WOULDNT A HAD THE BALLS TILL DO IT
  17. avatar Rezo
    Are there any intelligent people in NI? The people that ring in are total morons!
  18. avatar Wd-adam
    Wish I could get BBC NI at Uni. I love listening to the phone ins on the radio.
  19. avatar I'mDead
    In fairness, Nolan live can on occasion be comparable to this board in that we endlessly throw opnions at each other under the impression that we are engaging in some form of debate - the problem being that rarely do any of us back down, look at things from another perspective, or reach a compromise.

    Whats not to like?



    :lol:
  20. avatar The Fires of Hell
    [quote:2dfd7b3982]the problem being that rarely do any of us back down, look at things from another perspective, or reach a compromise. [/quote:2dfd7b3982]

    Until you meet in a pub and the eyebrows are merely raised and pleasant hellos given. Excruciating, isnt it?
  21. avatar T Entertainment
    http://www.bbc.co.uk/northernireland/nolan/catchuptv/sick.shtml
  22. avatar garrexial
    my sentiments exactly foh. that's always been a bit of a problem with the mudslinging matches on this board.

    conviction in front of a computer. tasty.
  23. avatar Strong Reaction
    I like it when someone texted in 'Up The Hoods'.

    Classic.
  24. avatar 3cigarettes
    [img:71d24b1f0c]http://www.penny-arcade.com/images/2004/20040319h.jpg[/img:71d24b1f0c]
  25. avatar kickintheteeth
    [quote:3fc5ce0ea3="Wd-adam"]Wish I could get BBC NI at Uni. I love listening to the phone ins on the radio.[/quote:3fc5ce0ea3]

    you can listen online every morning

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/northernireland/radioulster/

    or subscribe to his daily podcast on itunes. get with the times sunshine :P
  26. avatar Wd-adam
    [quote:44f18b4f46="kickintheteeth"][quote:44f18b4f46="Wd-adam"]Wish I could get BBC NI at Uni. I love listening to the phone ins on the radio.[/quote:44f18b4f46]

    you can listen online every morning

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/northernireland/radioulster/

    or subscribe to his daily podcast on itunes. get with the times sunshine :P[/quote:44f18b4f46]

    Yes, I know. I mean to watch the TV show ya fool.
  27. avatar kickintheteeth
    [quote:10292d45e1]I love listening to the phone ins on the radio.[/quote:10292d45e1]

    :roll: confusion.
  28. avatar Wd-adam
    Haha I wish I could watch the tv show as I love listening to some of the phone ins on the radio show.
  29. avatar feline1
    Fastfude would also make an excellent TV show. 8)
  30. avatar I'mDead
    Ha. Roger could be like Jeremy Kyle and have topics like:

    'Benefit Gigs Destroyed My Life'
    'My boyfriend wont stop slagging off Snow Patrol'
    'Am I emo?'
    'Why does every topic turn into x is no y'?
    'My son keeps quipping "yesterday" after everything'

    etc.
  31. avatar feline1
    The answer to all these questions is:

    GRISWOLD.
  32. avatar kingmob
    "My girlfriend cheated on me with a backslapping indie boy wanker"

    "Bass; fingers or plectrums?"

    "Our guitarist wants to quit and join the Dangerfields"

    "Goatboy: our new social menace"

    "Snow Patrol; are they [i:6da460a778]really[/i:6da460a778] as bad as everyone says?"

    "You gave me gonorrhea in Giro's; now I'm having your baby"
    Last edited on , 1 times in total.
  33. avatar MtCaramel
    This morning.

    "Theres a load of wasteground up there, we should put all them there and let them fight and we can sit and watch it'd be great entertainment."

    "THEY'RE CHILDREN YE BUCK EEJIT!"
  34. avatar I'mDead
    Griswold as in the wretched sex-pest drumming buffoon, or Griswold as in the collective of wretched sex-pest buffoons who lorded it up in the late 90's ?

    Discuss...
  35. avatar Zwaddap_deep_doo
    Jesus Christ! This place has four jokes. Four jokes I tell you, that will be regurgitated with slightly different references til the end of time. And they're not even good ones.
  36. avatar rentaghost
    The fastfude hardmen one is fairly new...
  37. avatar feline1
    But it's the way we tell 'em. :-D
  38. avatar Zwaddap_deep_doo
    [quote:86bbfef23b="rentaghost"]The fastfude hardmen one is fairly new...[/quote:86bbfef23b]

    Fastfude, New and improved! Now with five jokes!...................... CAUTION: Each joke may be repeated ad nauseum til the end of time or the internets, whichever happens first.
  39. avatar rentaghost
    theres no place like home, theres no place like home

    [img:b38c0706ae]http://rfkt.homestead.com/files/WOO_ruby_slippers.jpg[/img:b38c0706ae]
  40. avatar Zwaddap_deep_doo
    Fastfude will eat itself
  41. avatar MtCaramel
    pop culture reference #1 is no pop culture reference #2
  42. avatar infidelityJP
    [img:2c4644938d]http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y7/chrysanthalbee/cat/1162604048235.jpg[/img:2c4644938d]
  43. avatar Eamonn Evangelists
    There's no place like home is no no business like show business.
  44. avatar I'mDead
    I count eight 'jokes' including the all new fastfude hardmen and some forgotten classics that have been going since long before this recent spate of rebukes :

    • 'x' is no 'y'
    • fingers or plectrums
    • discuss
    • is it valid?
    • What is indie?
    • 'insert caption'..yesterday
    • with *hilarious consequences*
    • At least..........oh, wait.....
    • Fastfude hardmen *NEW*

    Jerry Seinfeld would be spinning in his tomb........if he were dead that is.
  45. avatar kingmob
    You forgot AHIIIIIIIIIINE. Someday one metajoke including all of these old 'favourites' will tear the internet in half.
  46. avatar The Grace Jones
    [quote:fe1c85c94f="I'mDead"]I count eight 'jokes' including the all new fastfude hardmen and some forgotten classics that have been going since long before this recent spate of rebukes :

    • 'x' is no 'y'
    • fingers or plectrums
    • discuss
    • is it valid?
    • What is indie?
    • 'insert caption'..yesterday
    • with *hilarious consequences*
    • At least..........oh, wait.....
    • Fastfude hardmen *NEW*

    Jerry Seinfeld would be spinning in his tomb........if he were dead that is.[/quote:fe1c85c94f]

    But can you trace the origins of all of these?
    I think I can identify:

    • discuss
    • is it valid?
    & AHINE

    [i:fe1c85c94f]Attributable directly to Feline 1[/i:fe1c85c94f]

    * Fingers or Plectrum?

    [i:fe1c85c94f]From 2001 (I think) - an enquiry started by Mogwai Fan and ran to about 8000 pages of debate.[/i:fe1c85c94f]
  47. avatar Ratoot
    Add "Northern Ireland beat "insert country no-ones been to here" in International football. Progress to "Northern Ireland: Is it valid?"
  48. avatar T Entertainment
    What, countries like Sweden, Spain and England?
    C'mon Ray - jump in and get down to Windsor: the water's lovely! :P
  49. avatar feline1
    [quote:6275fbd60b="The Grace Jones"]
    But can you trace the origins of all of these?
    I think I can identify:

    • discuss
    • is it valid?
    & AHINE

    [i:6275fbd60b]Attributable directly to Feline 1[/i:6275fbd60b]
    [/quote:6275fbd60b]

    No "Discuss..." comes from all those essay questions they'd set ewe at Oxford entrance exams.
    (e.g. "Terrorists are gay: Discuss...")

    "Is it Valid?" comes from Monty Python's Flying Circus episode "FULL FRONTAL NUDITY"
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u94KGw8caUQ
    where various vox pop people say they would do full front
    nudity, if it was valid (and the money was right)

    AHINE comes from Spacemeal, who exclaimed it once when falling backwards off a chair on the MCB Study Floor, crying "Hey, let's form a band and call it ahheiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine"!

    ********************************
    OUT OF POSTS -
    There'd be little point copying Dr Who quotes,
    as Robert Holmes pinched all HIS best lines from Hammer Horror filums...
    Last edited on , 1 times in total.
  50. avatar ShowYourBones
    So what you are saying Feline is that your quips are stolen from other sources and not one of them is taken from Doctor Who, I'm flabbergasted. F[b:e3c0329470]u[/b:e3c0329470]ck originality, hey?
  51. avatar I'mDead
    T Ent wrote:
    "What, countries like Sweden, Spain and England?"

    Pah, sure England isnt a real country.
  52. avatar Ratoot
    Is England not a "Pravince" of Cornwall or somthing?
  53. avatar Ratoot
    [quote:74bcd93b16]What, countries like Sweden, Spain and England? [/quote:74bcd93b16]

    no, like Liechenstien? Or something.

    I fuckin hate football.

    Go Celtic or something.
  54. avatar Ratoot
    Altho just to add... with all this rioting lately, i'm starting to enjoy it more.

    With the European Union as strong as ever and the minimal prospect of any future intereuropean wars, trust Italian and English footy fans to beat the living crap out of each other.

    Keep the dream alive guys!
  55. avatar T Entertainment
    There actually wasn't a thread on Liechtenstein. :D
    Only on Sweden, England and Spain.
  56. avatar Ratoot
    [quote:f995045aca]C'mon Ray - jump in and get down to Windsor: the water's lovely! [/quote:f995045aca]

    I would but I've heard what they do to fat ginger feniens wearing Celtic tops.

    It's only lucky I'm not from Lurgan really.

    :roll:
  57. avatar The Grace Jones
    * no thats just wrong *
  58. avatar Zwaddap_deep_doo
    [quote:ab38c6a103="I'mDead"]I count eight 'jokes' including the all new fastfude hardmen and some forgotten classics that have been going since long before this recent spate of rebukes :

    • 'x' is no 'y'
    • fingers or plectrums
    • discuss
    • is it valid?
    • What is indie?
    • 'insert caption'..yesterday
    • with *hilarious consequences*
    • At least..........oh, wait.....
    • Fastfude hardmen *NEW*

    Jerry Seinfeld would be spinning in his tomb........if he were dead that is.[/quote:ab38c6a103]


    I suppose this rampant repetition is good for the casual browser 'cos if you miss one of these 'quips' you can rest assured another one will be along in a minute.

    I'm sorry now I even referred to these cancerous lymph nodes as 'jokes' since that infers wit and mirth.
    Last edited on , 2 times in total.
  59. avatar Ratoot
    *blank*











    Sorry I misread your post. (Please Ignore)
  60. avatar Strong Reaction
    Kill me.
  61. avatar thesacredhearts
    Rikmandu
    Barons jar featuring jar and barons baron
    Goatboy being hit by David Holmes
  62. avatar fastfude
    ahhhh <bandname> ahhhh
  63. avatar I'mDead
    The only '________' you know is '_______'

    And by '________', you mean '________'
  64. avatar whosbainejakey
    [quote:58c3642120="Strong Reaction"]Kill me.[/quote:58c3642120]

    ...and baby makes nine!
  65. avatar whosbainejakey
    [quote:acc258cd06="I'mDead"]The only '________' you know is '_______'

    And by '________', you mean '________'[/quote:acc258cd06]

    Ten!

    It's unfair to refer to Rikmandu as a joke.
  66. avatar I'mDead
    Benefit gig?
  67. avatar Zwaddap_deep_doo
    This place? :)
  68. avatar The Ronster
    I think this place may have finally disappeared up its own arse in a flurry of self-parody-parody.

    I despair - what satisfaction is there to be derived from posting the same crap over and over again?

    I'm all for fresh crap.
  69. avatar ShowYourBones
    [quote:0147c73da9="The Ronster"]
    I'm all for fresh crap.[/quote:0147c73da9]

    So is a farmer, but does that mean he's necessarily correct.
  70. avatar Gogs
    [quote:26fe335a93="Wd-adam"]Haha I wish I could watch the tv show as I love listening to some of the phone ins on the radio show.[/quote:26fe335a93]

    Freeview/cable/sky?

    We get all the regional variations on Virgin Media and I'm sure we got them on Freeview too..

    (Sorry for being vaguely on topic :?)
  71. avatar T Entertainment
    You can see BBCNI (and Scotland / Wales) if you have Sky, definitely, and probably some of the others.
  72. avatar kingmob
    I can't get BBCNI on my Virgin Digital and have been hugely depressed at missing Town Challenge ever since I moved.

    Edit: I've found number 11. Links that take you to ramgallery.com. Truly hilarious.
  73. avatar Wd-adam
    [quote:6d109d2096="Gogs"][quote:6d109d2096="Wd-adam"]Haha I wish I could watch the tv show as I love listening to some of the phone ins on the radio show.[/quote:6d109d2096]

    Freeview/cable/sky?

    We get all the regional variations on Virgin Media and I'm sure we got them on Freeview too..

    (Sorry for being vaguely on topic :?)[/quote:6d109d2096]

    I live in Halls. Only Sky is in the common room which is never free to use. Freeview reception in St Andrews is a thing of legend, if you manage to get it they'll probably burn you for being a witch.
  74. avatar T Entertainment
    We managed to watch the NI match on BBCNI at St Andrews in October, in that sports bar opposite the golf course via Sky. Not sure how the regulars would take to Nolan though.
    I like the way the shops in St Andrews only sell golf clubs, tartan and aaron jumpers. It makes trying to buy a packet of fegs an adventure. :shock:
  75. avatar rudedoodle
    Watched Nolan last night. The texts were bizarre & hilarious, who screens them??
    "The queen has a caravan in portstewart, no surrender!"
  76. avatar I'mDead
    Rudedoodle, back from the dead, hurrah!
  77. avatar rudedoodle
    just about.
    i'm always lurking
  78. avatar T Entertainment
    "Watched Nolan last night. The texts were bizarre & hilarious, who screens them??"

    I couldn't possibly comment... :P
  79. avatar rudedoodle
    haha!
    i was watching to see if Ron would phone in!



    On another note, it says I only have 3 posts left here today... has Rog put me on probation??
  80. avatar rentaghost
    Nolan interviews Derek Acorah in a bizarre incident of life imitating fastfude.... :shock:
  81. avatar RAAP Management
    Such is the volume of texts, there are [i:2af2019b16]four[/i:2af2019b16] producers sifting through 'em...and it's still a frantic struggle to keep up with the deluge. It's also one of the funniest hours you can possibly experience.
  82. avatar The Ronster
    [quote:05cbc88679]i was watching to see if Ron would phone in! [/quote:05cbc88679]

    Funny enough, I WAS on the radio show this morning, having a go at Derek 'I talk to spirits, I do' Acorah.

    All I can say is - what a c[b:05cbc88679]u[/b:05cbc88679]nt.
  83. avatar rudedoodle
    What did you say to him? he sort of scares me a little bit when he does those voices.
  84. avatar kingmob
    [quote:acf7e922b4="rudedoodle"]What did you say to him? he sort of scares me a little bit when he does those voices.[/quote:acf7e922b4]

    That's not a 'voice', that's a Scouse accent :lol:

    Also Ghostbusting with Girls Aloud was possibly the greatest television I have ever seen.
    Last edited on , 1 times in total.
  85. avatar T Entertainment
    This basically sums it up - keep watching till the end:


    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4uD0dPhr9cQ
  86. avatar rentaghost
    I watched a rerun of Most Haunted last night.
    He obviously does his research, but that falls apart a bit when the historian on the programme repeatedly identifies his source as Arthur Conan Doyle.
  87. avatar The Ronster
    Yipes!

    I made the podcast!
  88. avatar rudedoodle
    that was a good'un tonight.
    paul martin repeatedly being called a dickhead.
  89. avatar Dirty Stevie Grizz
    yep.. paul martin making a complete cúnt of himself before a live studio audience... splendid.
  90. avatar livemusicpics.com
    yes, he was a top class tool.
  91. avatar xconorx
    [quote:2949321ee6="The Ronster"]Funny enough, I WAS on the radio show this morning, having a go at Derek 'I talk to spirits, I do' Acorah.

    All I can say is - what a c[b:2949321ee6]u[/b:2949321ee6]nt.[/quote:2949321ee6]
    he's a proper ballroot alright.
    "eh, there's a woman, or a man, or a man and a woman. I'm sensing an energy, one of them is nervous. The spirit says don't be nervous"
  92. avatar RAAP Management
    Play your cards right Ron and one day it might even be fixed for you to meet the mercurial 'Cameron'.

    You're starting to get up there with 'Gerard from Clonard' and his arch nemesis 'Mark from Rathcoole'.
    'Ron from Ballynahinch' has a nice ring to it, I think.
  93. avatar Eamonn Evangelists
    Remember when Paul "Fork-nosed" Martin had an imaginary war with fastfude?
    Perhaps he and Gail Walker should get it on.
  94. avatar The Ronster
    [quote:7492024e58="RAAP Management"]Play your cards right Ron and one day it might even be fixed for you to meet the mercurial 'Cameron'.

    You're starting to get up there with 'Gerard from Clonard' and his arch nemesis 'Mark from Rathcoole'.
    'Ron from Ballynahinch' has a nice ring to it, I think.[/quote:7492024e58]

    Ah, but I always just go by 'Aaron from Belfast' - I'm not changing now, so that I can build up an intimidating rep like those illustrious names.

    My position on most matters seems to be greeted with something approaching scorn on the show from other callers. Apparently I'm a dick because I'm

    For the TV Licence Fee
    An Atheist
    Pro Fly-Postering
    For a women's right to choose to be a prosititute if she wants
    For freedom of speech/press, even for Johnny Adair (christ, what a shit-storm that caused!)

    Clearly I'm a loon.
  95. avatar tenrabbits
    [quote:6f5151c4e6="The Ronster"]Clearly I'm a loon.[/quote:6f5151c4e6]

    My kind of loon! Ron for president!
  96. avatar Rezo
    In the part where the editor of a fruitner magazine and a anit-gay rights bloke were arguing the toss I thought the really funny part was some bible-basher saying he wasn't "homeophobic". Then some fruitner rang in to accuse the anti-gay rights bloke of being a disgrace for publishing a gay magazine but being anti-gay! He obviously got his people mixed up. I nearly wet myself!
  97. avatar Dirty Stevie Grizz
    "NOLAN LIVE CALLER IN 'NOT THINKING THINGS OUT PROPERLY' SHOCKER!"

    :)
  98. avatar rentaghost
    so Edwina - have you ever done anything controversial?
    :lol:
  99. avatar xconorx
    [quote:da53d574ef="The Ronster"]Apparently I'm a dick because I'm

    For the TV Licence Fee[/quote:da53d574ef]
    it's just cos of that one ;)
  100. avatar all-is-vanity
    Let us not forgot the oh so hilarious:

    "yuss, but...."
    "Ignore, delete this post..."
    "TPO gets stuck into _______...in latest article shocker!"
    "Practice spaces"
    "________call it a day"
    "NI music scene is a bunch of cliquey indie wankers, etceterawwww, where's the justice"
    "How do I turn my 4ft square cupboard room into abbey studios for 20p?"

    There must be more........
  101. avatar T Entertainment
    Satanic progressive death metal band Akercocke, who bring their 'Summon the Antichrist' tour to Belfast on Friday are on Nolan Live tonight!

    You must remember their catchy hit, Rape of the Bastard Nazarene?

    "Raping minds
    To twist the Nazarene
    Divine corruption
    The purest evil
    Delightful molestation
    How beautiful the virgin mother lies
    Bathed in blood in semen
    The brutal abuse
    Of the holy homonculus
    You see, cringing filth
    Your God hasn't saved you
    Crudely tearing the Christian flesh
    Of the mother
    So we may consume the food of dog
    The malformed child of Christ
    ...Mother and child lay brutalised...
    Pleasure of perishment
    Evangelical charlatans
    Cult of Lies"
  102. avatar Andrew
    Akercocke are no Lando.
  103. avatar supershedseven
    They should list to bit more Shed 7 !
  104. avatar tenrabbits
    [quote:bc96cbb793="T Entertainment"]
    Bathed in blood in semen
    [/quote:bc96cbb793]

    Bathed in blood AND semen. Good grief T-Ent.. sure blood IN semen would indicate some kind of nasty urinary tract problem.
  105. avatar The Ronster
    In a fit of madness, I am going to the live show tonight.

    I don't know any Akercocke lyrics, I would like to be able to sing along.

    Think I might memorise some now.
  106. avatar kickintheteeth
    they should have dedicated the whole show to it, that was getting interesting.
  107. avatar DuncanDisorderly
    proof positive that local television should not do satellite link ups!
  108. avatar The Ronster
    Just back from it, really enjoyed myself.

    Really annoyed by the video delay in the chat with the band (who seemed quite funny!).

    Didn't get to give my two cents about the paramilitary video game cause the item ran out of time, the future Mrs Ronster gave a comment to Uri Gellar and I lost the run of myself during the last item and shouted out like an idiot from the audience, nearly giving some fat doll heart failure in front of me.

    I can't stand those Youth For Christ feckers. I'd love a proper hour long debate on the pros and cons of religion on that show, but the lack of structure to the 'debate' makes it really hard for anyone other than the guests to get their point across.

    Still, I recommend going to the show, it's good fun and it gets your blood up when they are talking about subjects you care about.

    I'm sure I'll be trying to get on the radio show in the morning if the discussion about satanic music continues there.
  109. avatar [misterbillz]
    [quote:ec436c84ce="The Ronster"]I can't stand those Youth For Christ feckers.[/quote:ec436c84ce]

    Thanks very much.
  110. avatar The Ronster
    Although I do think that it's important to stress that satanic or not (and since I don't believe in satan to the exact same degree i don't believe in god...) it's hard to deny one thing...

    Funny blokes or not, their band is a bit...rubbish. I'd love to be able to defend them on musical grounds, but I can't bring myself to.
  111. avatar kickintheteeth
    how do you get tickets for the show ? or is a matter of turning up early enough.. ?
  112. avatar icedcoffee
    I have never watched that show before and I dont think I ever will again. The biggest load of amateur balls ever.
  113. avatar kickintheteeth
    http://www.bbc.co.uk/northernireland/nolan/takepart/

    s'alright got it :p
  114. avatar huggy baps
    hehehe i was at this tonight as well, good fun. The amount of aul bitches tsking and groaning left right and centre at the 'satanists' was quite funny, followed by the predictable 'awwww' when they showed a baby on screen. Pity about the time delay though cos the lads from the band were pretty funny. The Christian dudes made my blood boil though...

    And how was the lad who'd made the paramilitary game supposed to argue/debate with some fish wife shouting down the phone like she was calling in her rat kids for their daily s'getti?

    Good though, id go again!
  115. avatar mcflymo
    I thought your man that designed that game looked pretty scared. He was clearly thinking "jaysus what have I gotten myself into here" but your woman shouting at him was a total spoon, as are 99% of the reactionary fu[b:0d797bbb3f][/b:0d797bbb3f]cks that take part in that show...

    "Let me tell ye mate...whinge, whinge, whine, I haven't had sex in years and I need to feel righteous indignation about something before I die and while I don't even know what I'm ranting about, this seems like the right time to get on my high horse, ... you utter bastard!"
  116. avatar [misterbillz]
    Is this the young fella or the older guy? Christian i mean.
  117. avatar captain a
    [quote:3c023496d2="I'mDead"]I count eight 'jokes' including the all new fastfude hardmen and some forgotten classics that have been going since long before this recent spate of rebukes :

    • 'x' is no 'y'
    • fingers or plectrums
    • discuss
    • is it valid?
    • What is indie?
    • 'insert caption'..yesterday
    • with *hilarious consequences*
    • At least..........oh, wait.....
    • Fastfude hardmen *NEW*

    Jerry Seinfeld would be spinning in his tomb........if he were dead that is.[/quote:3c023496d2]


    i remember when there were only three jokes and you got banned for telling two of them.
  118. avatar Baronation
    The new jokes are no old jokes.

    xConorX and myself where watching this last night (as I tried to bend his spoons) and when the metal band appeared I said "I bet Rons texting in as we speak" and there the old boy was! Right in the audience, Uri Geller made me think that.

    I couldn't bend the spoon.
  119. avatar churchwarden
    [quote:0abae139d8]• 'x' is no 'y' [/quote:0abae139d8]

    ..and who texted in with the line "that video game is no hole in the wall gang"? A suspiciously fastfude-esque comment...
  120. avatar Nizzer
    So Nangedo comith!!!

    [img:7a2f64965b]http://www.artsforhealing.org/images/elderly_paint.jpg[/img:7a2f64965b]
  121. avatar Crackity_jones
    Loved it when the Youth For Christ bloke pleaded "but where do you draw the line?" and someone yelled out "YE DON'T!!!" Kudos to that guy. Totally shambolic segment, quite good fun though. I felt embarrassed to be from here and was willing the Akercocke blokes to destroy studio guests with common sense but it degenerated too much. "Are you an alcoholic?" was quite funny mind.
  122. avatar huggy baps
    [quote:d9de906f57="Crackity_jones"]Loved it when the Youth For Christ bloke pleaded "but where do you draw the line?" and someone yelled out "YE DON'T!!!" [/quote:d9de906f57]

    Aye, this was also the same christian guy who compared metal to the plight of battered wives :roll: What a dumbass..
  123. avatar Chi-Lite
    Well, to be fair.....................(pause for beginning of rant)........

    The show was, and always is, an absolute shambles. Stephen Nolan really seems to thing that simply butting in to someone making their point with a random, generally irrelevant question is the same as posing legitimate questions which the interviewee is trying to avoid.

    Nolan snapping at the mettallers "what makes you think you're welcomes in Belfast", when they obviously have a sizeable fanbase here is a joke.

    As a Christian, I don't find that kind of thing offensive. I find it childish, petty and the musical equivalent of a three year old child repeating a swearword he's just learned to his parents. To talk about your freedom of expression to sing about rape, mutilation and ritual murder may be a theoretically valid point, but it's a bit [i:3d9fab957b]f[b:3d9fab957b][/b:3d9fab957b]ucking childish [/i:3d9fab957b]isn't it.

    I certainly wouldn't ban it.

    But the beardy Christian fellow does have a point. Where do we draw the line at freedom of expression which clearly panders to unhealthy attitudes? It's the same argument that could be made against violent mysogynistic rap music. I'd draw the line at asserting that such things actually CAUSE people to go out and beat their [i:3d9fab957b]hoes[/i:3d9fab957b], or sodomise Christ with a long blade, or whatever the case may be. But you have to admit that listening to such things at a formative age has every possibility of fostering an unhealthy attitude towards life in general.

    Should we ban it all outright? No, I don't really think we can, but we really should get together, as nice rational people, and go, "here, wise up kiddo."
  124. avatar T Entertainment
    http://www.bbc.co.uk/northernireland/nolan/images/on_listenagain.jpg

    The Akercocke / Christians row rumbled on on the radio this morning - today's prog isn't up yet but it will be soon I think.
  125. avatar kingmob
    [quote:39a238af20]But you have to admit that listening to such things at a formative age has every possibility of fostering an unhealthy attitude towards life in general.
    [/quote:39a238af20]

    No you don't. I really don't think things are as clear cut as that at all.

    I am sure there are countless cretins on this message board (myself included) who grew up on a wonderful diet of 80's bloody cop movies, violent kung-fu flicks and hardcore video games and haven't felt the urge to disrespect some hos or put a ruler through someone's eye as an adult.

    And Nolan is a shock jock. The issues on his show are not important. What is important is what he, the divine Nolan, thinks about them.
  126. avatar Chi-Lite
    Having said all that I've just said, there's no doubt that the two mettaler kids won that argument, owing entirely to Nolans incompetence and the stupidity of the callers.

    Get them two eye liner wearing boys in a bar with me, I'd sort them out.

    The only reason for watching the Nolan show is to read the texted insults to Noaln himself.

    I particularly liked, "Aye Nolan, you said you ate a gummy bear; more like a Grizzly bear, fat boy."
  127. avatar David McLaughlin
    [quote:ae0e1fcddc]you have to admit that listening to such things at a formative age has every possibility of fostering an unhealthy attitude towards life in general. [/quote:ae0e1fcddc]

    Er, based on what proof?

    Funny how Akercocke came across as the most intelligent people involved in the 'debate'.

    The show was hilarious and depressing in equal measure. As ever really.


    "this country"
  128. avatar livemusicpics.com
    Nolan show is a circus. It is however, very entertaining.

    Ackercoke (or however you spell it) definitely won their argument - and were very entertaining. Also they win by getting plenty of publicity for their gig.

    It's the same as the debate about the internet paramilitary game - the people who argued against it, and the metallers, would probably never have heard about either, would never have needed to know about either, if Nolan hadn't made an issue of it.

    Also, having the 'computer geek', devoid of social skills and very inarticulate, up against a politician - well it was a bit of an uneven contest when it comes to debating an issue.
  129. avatar icedcoffee
    This man has [i:63dbc1c5c9]wolves[/i:63dbc1c5c9] for [i:63dbc1c5c9]PETS[/i:63dbc1c5c9]

    [size=9:63dbc1c5c9](i'll just leave out the fact that he lives on a farm with lots of land and not mention the bears-like dogs that can be seen regularly on the lisburn road)[/size:63dbc1c5c9]

    And no one actually cares about this mans weight. I kinda want my hour back.
  130. avatar Crackity_jones
    [quote:9db8348a94="David McLaughlin"][quote:9db8348a94]you have to admit that listening to such things at a formative age has every possibility of fostering an unhealthy attitude towards life in general. [/quote:9db8348a94]

    Er, based on what proof?

    Funny how Akercocke came across as the most intelligent people involved in the 'debate'.

    The show was hilarious and depressing in equal measure. As ever really.



    "this country"[/quote:9db8348a94]

    Intelligent but a mite snidey and arrogant.

    Of course the point isn't whether any of us welcome this stuff, it's whether they have the right to propagate it. And of course they do - they're performing to paying fans and they aren't causing anyone any harm. Watching last night, it was as if everyone here (apart from a couple of audience members) is a Daniel O'Donnell fan that's entirely ignorant of metal in any form. Very strange.

    "Northern Ireland is a God-fearing country". Deary me.
  131. avatar David McLaughlin
    I think they reacted as anyone might when faced with such idiocy. One of the Christian guys started quoting Anton LaVey at them, only to be roundly put down with a simple 'sorry, we don't follow the teachings of LaVey'. A bit of prior research might have helped.

    Nolan tried to set the band up for a fall right off the bat, even using the satellite delay on their first response as an excuse for them being 'awkward', and it patently backfired.
  132. avatar whosbainejakey
    [quote:8c15431268="churchwarden"][quote:8c15431268]• 'x' is no 'y' [/quote:8c15431268]

    ..and who texted in with the line "that video game is no hole in the wall gang"? A suspiciously fastfude-esque comment...[/quote:8c15431268]

    That may well have been Mrs Jakey! I'm afronted that my own "If there's a satan then there's a god. Problem?" didn't make the cut...
  133. avatar livemusicpics.com
    [quote:7640c3c7de]Nolan tried to set the band up for a fall right off the bat, even using the satellite delay on their first response as an excuse for them being 'awkward', and it patently backfired.[/quote:7640c3c7de]

    On the subject of that delay - so much money seems to be spent on that show on stuped graphics - That map in particular, is a bloody waste of time. If they would get the basics right, it would be much more productive than all the flashing lights.
  134. avatar Nizzer
    god just listining to the radio playback funny stuff, "an egg!!!!" lol jesus

    on the metal band to quote the great bill hicks, if thats the devil's music il be rockin out in the fires of hell, jesus can keep the boybands lol

    all an over reaction \m/:D\m/
  135. avatar die the flu
    [quote:201e189a8b]..and who texted in with the line "that video game is no hole in the wall gang"? A suspiciously fastfude-esque comment...[/quote:201e189a8b]

    How very perceptive!! It's a fair cop, guilty as charged g'vnor.
  136. avatar whosbainejakey
    Are you claiming to be my missus?!
  137. avatar Crackity_jones
    [quote:a60e06d790="David McLaughlin"]I think they reacted as anyone might when faced with such idiocy. One of the Christian guys started quoting Anton LaVey at them, only to be roundly put down with a simple 'sorry, we don't follow the teachings of LaVey'. A bit of prior research might have helped.

    Nolan tried to set the band up for a fall right off the bat, even using the satellite delay on their first response as an excuse for them being 'awkward', and it patently backfired.[/quote:a60e06d790]

    Oh yeah it was clear that no-one involved had done any more research than reading a few lyrics. I think the producers expected fullly paid up, evangelical members of the Church Of Satan and these guys didn't seemed to be. Shame the guys from the band didn't really get any proper points across because they tended to mock a lot rather than address anything that was put to them. But the satellite problems and constant interruptions didn't help their cause.

    Bit of a wasted opportunity overall.
  138. avatar xconorx
    [quote:bef49ae2b8="Baronation"]I couldn't bend the spoon.[/quote:bef49ae2b8]
    In fairness, neither could Uri, he just bashed it against his forehead.

    Speaking of Uri the Liar, anyone ever seen his life-story movie "Mind Bender"? It's fantastic, literally - he claims the US military kidnapped him and tried to get himn to kill a mouse so he escaped and zapped all the soldiers with his mind power. Then he creates world peace at the end by getting everyone to touch their TVs, very moving ;)
    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0113826/
    [i:bef49ae2b8]Mindbender is the story of Uri Geller, probably the world's most famous psychic. The film shows his rise to fame from small shows in the middle east where he amazed audiences with his parapsychological feats of spoon-bending and clock-fixing. Terence Stamp plays a scientist who brings him to America[/i:bef49ae2b8]
  139. avatar die the flu
    [quote:fe1b7abbe6="whosbainejakey"]Are you claiming to be my missus?![/quote:fe1b7abbe6]

    You wish.

    I sent that text goddamnit. My other two didn't make the cut, they were a little less subtle:

    "Uri is the greatest bender in the world!!"

    and

    "That Christian looks like a moustache-less Ned Flanders"
  140. avatar Numbnut Sounds
    i sense a new official weekly fastfude competition...
  141. avatar xconorx
    Uri doing a wee bit of cheating on his own show
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V1Y7QR314xA

    [i:9548b5acfd]Right at 1:19, 1:20 he takes something from his hair with his right hand, and openly sticks it right to his left thumb. [/i:9548b5acfd]
    It's a magnetic thumb-tip
  142. avatar The Ronster
    [quote:dbd2727571]Loved it when the Youth For Christ bloke pleaded "but where do you draw the line?" and someone yelled out "YE DON'T!!!"[/quote:dbd2727571]

    Ahem. :? That would be exactly the outburst I was referring to earlier. I was practically halfway out of my seat on my way to beating thon YFC fella about the face and neck when the future Mrs Ronster admonished me severely.

    Quite rightly too. I should have raised my hand before bellowing like Paisley.

    Sorry all.
  143. avatar mcclurg
    haha, i was just laughing at the video game man it was like "shit, wtf can i actually say in defence?!" so he decided to bullshit xD mind you, he was totally right. it's embarrassing watching that show, cos you see the amount of dumb, dumb people we have in our country. And as for the whiney woman on the telephone: woman: "HAVE YOU EVER HAD A FAMILY MEMBER MURDERED?!" Games Maker: "uhh yeah actually.." **SCUNDERRRRRED** xD
  144. avatar Chi-Lite
    But to be fair, he was a wee d[b:a48c41de87][/b:a48c41de87]ick.

    Quite obviously a game like that is gonna cause offence to some people, and I say they've every right to get offended.

    For him to turn round and tell those people that he's trying to help them out by getting their frustrations out is a fecking joke.

    For someone to say "My uncle was murdered by paramilitaries, and now you've made a game of it", and for that wee fella to say "sure why don't you play my computer game and get your revenge on them paramilitaries" is distasteful, to say the least. Even Ian jr realised that.

    If some of you can't see that, I don't know....
  145. avatar The Ronster
    Like I said earlier, and the point I wanted to make on the show:

    How is that game any different from Call Of Duty 4, which is set in Iraq (apart from the obvious answer that COD4 will probably be ACE)? Are Iraqians not entitled to moral outrage, or is it just that in this country we are so touchy about ANYTHING resembling a relaxed attitude to the conflict?

    The game designer (Wayne?) was a bit out of his depth, and I do think he should have been more honest about why he created the game - the challenge, the curiosity and the cash. If he had admitted that I think less people in the audience would have had a problem, but he kept getting on like he was offering free counselling or something.

    As my other half said to me last night - its pure cultural snobbery. It's apparently ok to make books/comics/movies/songs/websites/tv-sitcoms about THE TROUBLES[size=7:0372a5099c]TM[/size:0372a5099c] but god help you if you made a [i:0372a5099c]game[/i:0372a5099c] about it.

    That, and he is 32. He should really get out more.
  146. avatar Stevie Mac
    [quote:b0f3608438="The Ronster"]
    As my other half said to me last night - its pure cultural snobbery. It's apparently ok to make books/comics/movies/songs/websites/tv-sitcoms about THE TROUBLES[size=7:b0f3608438]TM[/size:b0f3608438] but god help you if you made a [i:b0f3608438]game[/i:b0f3608438] about it.
    [/quote:b0f3608438]

    Didn't see yer man & his game but read about it today. Here we go...

    Games continually get singled out to be the scapegoat whenever unstable individuals run amok, and I think it's because most people refuse to treat them on an equal level to all other media, films, books, etc.

    Games don't turn normal well-adjusted people into twisted killers, at most they just put ideas in their heads, images & such the likes of which you'd see far worse in numerous films and even the news sometimes. Mere hours after the event had occurred, US attorney and scourge of gamers far and wide Jack Thompson was on the news trying to blame the Virginia shootings on games. Far be it for anyone to question the psychological profile or parenting / upbringing of those involved - let's just blame it on those bad old games!

    The older generation seem intent on maintaining the quaint notion that games are 'just a bit of fun for kids', when in fact the average gamer in the UK is in their early 30's. I've seen parents buying GTA for their kids and then are shocked when, despite the prominent 18 logo on the front, that it contains - shock - adult content!

    As games get more sophisticated & ever bigger budgets, the line between game & film is becoming ever more blurred, these fools better realise that games are a valid form of expression, and as such has as much right to explore the darker side of history & the human psyche as films do.

    By all means if you want to rail against violence in media be my guest (though I don't see it as a productive), but don't single out games as a straw man.
  147. avatar David McLaughlin
    It's a fine line but at least movies etc have the defence of being artistic expressions on the part of their creators. Not so sure this guy could really convince anyone his game was motivated by artistic expression. He was blatantly just a chancer out for a quick buck.
  148. avatar whosbainejakey
    If only the rumours about Grand Theft Auto: West Belfast had turned out to be true, eh?

    Warren/Wayne's (Nolan couldn't decide what he was called)line of defence was very poor. However, Paisley's sh1te about "where do you draw the line? are we going to have peado and incest games too?" was even more laughable.
  149. avatar Dirty Stevie Grizz
    [i:49e9592bc3]where do you draw the line? where do you stop the italics?[/i:49e9592bc3]

    (it was funny and made sense 2 minutes ago)
  150. avatar thehellfireclub
    [quote:c50c38981d="Stevie Mac"]
    Didn't see yer man & his game but read about it today. Here we go...

    Games continually get singled out to be the scapegoat whenever unstable individuals run amok, and I think it's because most people refuse to treat them on an equal level to all other media, films, books, etc.

    Games don't turn normal well-adjusted people into twisted killers, at most they just put ideas in their heads, images & such the likes of which you'd see far worse in numerous films and even the news sometimes. Mere hours after the event had occurred, US attorney and scourge of gamers far and wide Jack Thompson was on the news trying to blame the Virginia shootings on games. Far be it for anyone to question the psychological profile or parenting / upbringing of those involved - let's just blame it on those bad old games!

    The older generation seem intent on maintaining the quaint notion that games are 'just a bit of fun for kids', when in fact the average gamer in the UK is in their early 30's. I've seen parents buying GTA for their kids and then are shocked when, despite the prominent 18 logo on the front, that it contains - shock - adult content!

    As games get more sophisticated & ever bigger budgets, the line between game & film is becoming ever more blurred, these fools better realise that games are a valid form of expression, and as such has as much right to explore the darker side of history & the human psyche as films do.

    By all means if you want to rail against violence in media be my guest (though I don't see it as a productive), but don't single out games as a straw man.[/quote:c50c38981d]

    Is this an attempt to bait me McCullough?
    Games don't get singled out, remember Ted Bundy?
    It was a strange sop to the American right and a desparate attempt to slip the noose which brought him to the idea of blaming his murders on pornography. Turns out he had a few cheerleading mags stashed under his bed. Magazines about cheerleading published for cheerleaders. Oh dear. They'll blame anything.
    The real damage done by video games is fat kids with bad eyesight and poor social skills.
    I'll admit that films have got a bit sh*te (and a bit more like games) as computer generated graphics allow lazy producers to write illiterate plot driven pulp without any exploration of what it is to be alive, sometimes without even a basic script but peppered with 'awesome' graphics. Film and games are becoming similar in that they are both gretutious and pornographic, but porn doesn't do any harm to the viewer, apart from degenerating their eyesight. In other words games are harmless but they are only comparable to brainless films and f*ckbooks (or Ben Elton).
  151. avatar potatojunkie1
    Yes, I'm sure some of the many people who suffer from addictions to pornorgaphy really think that it dosen't do any harm to their lives and is just a bit of fun. :roll:
  152. avatar sheriffjohnstone
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M04U7cJL6Qs
    For those interested in the Akercocke "interview"
  153. avatar Stevie Mac
    I never bait my friend, just getting my view across.
    I'm not suggesting that games are unique in being blamed for atrocities & social collapse, just that it is the current one and the various campaigns against them are probably more virulent than any that may have preceded it (see the aforementioned [url=http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jack_Thompson_%28attorney%29]Jack Thompson[/url] and also [url=http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Keith_Vaz]Keith Vaz[/url]).

    By pornographic I can only assume you mean games' ability to immerse yourself in the world and story and be an active participant in what is unfolding, whereas with films & books you can only ever be a silent observer.

    I'm not saying [i:6ebdb16378]all[/i:6ebdb16378] games are great, indeed a large proportion of them are utter rubbish, but when they get it right (I'm thinking Zelda, Final Fantasy, Deus Ex, Grand Theft Auto, Resident Evil and the like), they can be awe-inspiring.

    But I don't expect you to get any of that because, like I said, you're staring at it from across a chasm, too alienated to understand.

    A fair while ago Sony ran a campaign for the PS2 with the slogan "I have conquered worlds"; that possibly expresses the point more succinctly than I can.
  154. avatar The Grace Jones
    [quote:74861cd768]By pornographic I can only assume you mean games' ability to immerse yourself [/quote:74861cd768]

    It would be more interesting for the debate if he had meant the actual definition of pornographic as in "of no artistic value", but I'm inclined think he was just talking about tits being got out.
  155. avatar Stevie Mac
    No he means the former.
  156. avatar thehellfireclub
    [quote:b529878cef="The Grace Jones"][quote:b529878cef]By pornographic I can only assume you mean games' ability to immerse yourself [/quote:b529878cef]

    It would be more interesting for the debate if he had meant the actual definition of pornographic as in "of no artistic value", but I'm inclined think he was just talking about tits being got out.[/quote:b529878cef]

    If you read what I was saying you should be left in no doubt that I was, for the most part, talking about your definition of pornographic Grace Jones.
    As for that porn addict, you can't be 4 real.
    Steveo, conquered worlds you ain't, unless there is such as thing as Emperor of lonliness.
  157. avatar The Grace Jones
    [quote:ad94900135="thehellfireclub"]
    If you read what I was saying you should be left in no doubt that I was, for the most part, talking about your definition of pornographic Grace Jones. [/quote:ad94900135]

    I did read the post. I think it was probably your use of the word "f*ckbooks" that got me thinking you were talking about the hairy-palm stuff rather than the more archaic definition of the word. Sorry for misunderstanding.
  158. avatar thehellfireclub
    [quote:d364cd3010="The Grace Jones"]
    I did read the post. I think it was probably your use of the word "f*ckbooks" that got me thinking you were talking about the hairy-palm stuff rather than the more archaic definition of the word. Sorry for misunderstanding.[/quote:d364cd3010]

    My apologies for f*ckbooks. In that sentence I was trying to bring in actual porn as the most appropriate published comparison to games (cause steve thinks Rimbaud and Sim City are similar in terms of artistic merit), but I'm all over the place.
  159. avatar remedy malahide
    porn can be amazing sometimes... :)
  160. avatar Stevie Mac
    You're completely getting the wrong end of the stick. You appear to be suggesting a blanket dismissal of games as a medium for producing art. The question isn't 'Are games art?', it's 'Can certain games be art?' and the answer is yes. Take a game like Ico; it certainly ticks all the requisit boxes you could possibly think of, but it is held back by your negative perception.

    The motion picture was not born as an artform but as a machine, and it took many years before people were ready to acknowledge it more than a novelty. So it shall be with games, also a technological artform in its infancy. In time the worthy games will take their place as recognized artifacts of cultrual significance.
  161. avatar thehellfireclub
    "The player takes on the role of Ico, a young boy born with a pair of horns, who must escort a princess named Yorda safely out of a castle without her being captured by the shadowy figures that prowl nearby or being killed by the castle's numerous environmental hazards."

    Oh f*ck, you're right Steve, that is art, in a horribly dumb cultural wasteland future where Terry Pratchet is a nobel laureate.

    Nah, I'll admit that in the future some games will be studied for the leaps that they have made in form (like battleship potemkin or something) hows that?
  162. avatar thefatson
    [quote:20ddd169d1]Nah, I'll admit that in the future some games will be studied for the leaps that they have made in form (like battleship potemkin or something) hows that?[/quote:20ddd169d1]

    They will base their whole culture and art around cho aniki(super big brothers), hopefully
    [img:20ddd169d1]http://www.lofi-gaming.org.uk/museum/games/scans/914.jpg[/img:20ddd169d1][img:20ddd169d1]http://www.encyclopedia-obscura.com/gphcs/gamescholev2.gif[/img:20ddd169d1]
  163. avatar Stevie Mac
    That brief description hardly does the game justice, and seeing as you've never played it, you're not free to pass judgement on it. If you read the full entry you'd know that it's regarded as something of a cult classic, and that even the novelisation of the game was a best-seller it its native Japan.

    Acknowledging leaps in form isn't good enough. In fact I would argue that the number of advances in the development of the format since its inception has possibly hindered its acceptance. The act of watching a film hasn't changed much at all in 50 years, but gaming has gone through myriad changes in half that time. Possibly it's this lack of a baseline for comparison that leads people to malign them so.

    Certain games will be and are revered for their story and characters as much as for their aesthetics and technical excellence. Final Fantasy VII's story was rich enough that a film sequel was commissioned to further explain it and tie up the loose ends.
  164. avatar Deevolution
    Just read this:

    [quote:ea51b9bf5e][b:ea51b9bf5e]AKERCOCKE will play Belfast tonight despite protests from Christian groups and a strong police presence at the Belfast show.[/b:ea51b9bf5e]

    The impending release of U.K. death metal country gents AKERCOCKE's latest album "Antichrist" caused so much uproar amongst Northern Ireland's religious community that the band appeared on BBC Northern Ireland on Wednesday night.

    "Nolan Live" is BBC Northern Ireland's flagship topical affairs series. It is presented by double Royal Television Society Award winner Stephen Nolan, who also hosts a daily radio show on BBC Radio Ulster and a weekend slot on BBC Five Live.

    As the title suggests, the show is a late-night 60 minute live program, transmitted on BBC Northern Ireland television from 22.40 to 23.40 on a Wednesday night (also available on digital television). It is totally interactive thereby allowing viewers to e-mail, text and call the show live — they will also be able to pose questions to Stephen and the studio guests.

    The overtly satanic content contained within "Antichrist" and the band's previous albums, specifically "Rape of the Bastard Nazerene", has come under attack by religious forces, leading to the band's vocalist Jason Mendonca and drummer David Gray having a head-to-head live TV debate that aired on BBC1's "Nolan Live" show. View a clip of Wednesday night's show on YouTube.

    According to sources in Belfast, there are Christian protestors outside the venue now and police are demanding to see AKERCOCKE lyrics before letting them go on stage tonight.

    The band is determined to play and tickets for shows are now limited as the Irish metal community responds with support for AKERCOCKE.

    Jason will appear on Totalrock radio on Monday morning 11.30am to tell people about his thoughts on the BBC programs.[/quote:ea51b9bf5e]

    from [url=http://www.roadrunnerrecords.com/blabbermouth.net/news.aspx?mode=Article&newsitemID=72827]Blabbermouth[/url]

    [i:ea51b9bf5e]According to sources in Belfast, there are Christian protestors outside the venue now and police are demanding to see AKERCOCKE lyrics before letting them go on stage tonight. [/i:ea51b9bf5e]

    Is this for real!?!?! :lol:

    F*ck brainwashed idiots like that.

    As for that "Hooded Gunman" game, i only checked it out after Nolan *recommended* it on his show - it's shyte and i'll not be playing again... how many people has he turned on to this game after featuring it on the show?! :roll:

    [i:ea51b9bf5e]Now playing: Exhorder - "Slaughter in the Vatican"[/i:ea51b9bf5e]
  165. avatar The Grace Jones
    [quote:de39fb28e0]Certain games will be and are revered for their story and characters as much as for their aesthetics and technical excellence.[/quote:de39fb28e0]

    You'll have [i:de39fb28e0]Centipede[/i:de39fb28e0] and you'll f*cking well like it.
  166. avatar 3cigarettes
    [quote:887e7d07f2="Chi-Lite"]But to be fair, he was a wee d[b:887e7d07f2][/b:887e7d07f2]ick.

    Quite obviously a game like that is gonna cause offence to some people, and I say they've every right to get offended.
    [/quote:887e7d07f2]


    "The right to be offended" begins and ends with choosing to partake in whatever is offending you or walking away.

    It doesn't include expecting anyone else to care.
  167. avatar 3cigarettes
    [quote:0217ed3caa="Deevolution"]
    [i]According to sources in Belfast, there are Christian protestors outside the venue now and police are demanding to see AKERCOCKE lyrics before letting them go on stage tonight. [/quote:0217ed3caa]

    If this really is true I'm going to go insane. What a fúcking retarded little pisshole this country is.
  168. avatar fastfude
    [quote:81cd5108db="thehellfireclub"]"The player takes on the role of Ico, a young boy born with a pair of horns, who must escort a princess named Yorda safely out of a castle without her being captured by the shadowy figures that prowl nearby or being killed by the castle's numerous environmental hazards."[/quote:81cd5108db]
    [img:81cd5108db]http://www.penny-arcade.com/images/2001/20010928h.gif[/img:81cd5108db]
    http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2001/09/28
  169. avatar 3cigarettes
    Hooray for Penny Arcade!
  170. avatar T Entertainment
    Interview up now:

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/northernireland/nolan/catchuptv/music.shtml
  171. avatar Ctrl Alt Deceit
    We walked past Mr. Nolan just the other day clutching his trousers to hold them up whilst running towards city hall, I'm not really sure what had happened, But I would have suspected he'd have done better to go and purchase a belt before running through crowds of people who would quite clearly recognise him..

    Perhaps he was trying to appeal to the style of the children outside city hall, Derrier on show et al?
  172. avatar ryanego
    "Thutsa kayna crap needsa be kyept unside hell like nurmine brot t nornirn"

    Ahahahahahahaha, kless
  173. avatar Chi-Lite
    [quote:3dab52e4bb="3cigarettes"][quote:3dab52e4bb="Chi-Lite"]But to be fair, he was a wee d[b:3dab52e4bb][/b:3dab52e4bb]ick.

    Quite obviously a game like that is gonna cause offence to some people, and I say they've every right to get offended.
    [/quote:3dab52e4bb]


    "The right to be offended" begins and ends with choosing to partake in whatever is offending you or walking away.

    It doesn't include expecting anyone else to care.[/quote:3dab52e4bb]

    But, fegs, there are some things that can offend just by their very existence. You wait til I make a light hearted game about your mother dying of cancer, using real names, dates and places. Then, when I say "Well, if you don't like it, just don't play it", you can be happy that your argument stands up.

    But don't you think the very fact of me having fun with the idea of your mothers slow painful death is a bit out of order, even if I don't force you to play it?

    And, as for an earlier point, I think that people in Iraq probably would, and should get offended about a game which makes a fun pastime out of so much suffering, if they didn't have plenty of other stuff to worry about.

    It's just simply wrong to make fun of other peoples suffering. It's always wrong in general, but particularly when it's so close to home. Which is why I'd imagine there aren't too many copies of thon game you're on about on sale in Baghdad.

    I don't think we're particularly sensitive. i think anywhere in the world people are gonna be offended if you make a fun, enjoyable game depicting the violent murders of their loved ones, often in the very recent past. I don't see what's so hard to understand about this.

    And as for the old red herring Freedom of Expression argument....

    Yes, you have every right to say and do things that horribly offend people. It is your absolute right to do this, and we should all stand up and fight for such a right...

    But here, don't be a wee w[b:3dab52e4bb][/b:3dab52e4bb]anker. Nobody likes a wee w[b:3dab52e4bb][/b:3dab52e4bb]anker that goes about gratuitously offending people all the time. It's not nice.
  174. avatar T Entertainment
    "I don't think we're particularly sensitive."

    Hmmm...I'd say one of the foremost defining characteristics of the Northern Irish is their readiness, nay, determination to be offended. Especially the religious sorts.
  175. avatar xconorx
    http://tv-links.co.uk/link.do/1/1919/2713/18329/29549

    I shoulda posted this after Derek AAcorah was on. Penn n Teller: Bullshit!
  176. avatar Chi-Lite
    [quote:867e02ab34="T Entertainment"]"I don't think we're particularly sensitive."

    Hmmm...I'd say one of the foremost defining characteristics of the Northern Irish is their readiness, nay, determination to be offended. Especially the religious sorts.[/quote:867e02ab34]

    Ha, well maybe so. Ach well, there's nothing wrong with a bit of sensitivity.

    The only point I was trying to make is that I don't think people have to try really hard to be offended when someone makes light of the brutal murder of their loved ones. I'd say that kind of offence would probably come naturally to anybody in the world.
  177. avatar T Entertainment
    "there's nothing wrong with a bit of sensitivity."

    Nothing: shame the good people of NI* combine it with santimony, MOPEry and persecution complexes.



    * Or 'The North', if you work for DRD :P
    Last edited on , 1 times in total.
  178. avatar Zwaddap_deep_doo
    [quote:54e7e53c3b="Chi-Lite"][quote:54e7e53c3b="3cigarettes"][quote:54e7e53c3b="Chi-Lite"]But to be fair, he was a wee d[b:54e7e53c3b][/b:54e7e53c3b]ick.

    Quite obviously a game like that is gonna cause offence to some people, and I say they've every right to get offended.
    [/quote:54e7e53c3b]


    "The right to be offended" begins and ends with choosing to partake in whatever is offending you or walking away.

    It doesn't include expecting anyone else to care.[/quote:54e7e53c3b]

    But, fegs, there are some things that can offend just by their very existence. You wait til I make a light hearted game about your mother dying of cancer, using real names, dates and places. Then, when I say "Well, if you don't like it, just don't play it", you can be happy that your argument stands up.

    But don't you think the very fact of me having fun with the idea of your mothers slow painful death is a bit out of order, even if I don't force you to play it?

    And, as for an earlier point, I think that people in Iraq probably would, and should get offended about a game which makes a fun pastime out of so much suffering, if they didn't have plenty of other stuff to worry about.

    It's just simply wrong to make fun of other peoples suffering. It's always wrong in general, but particularly when it's so close to home. Which is why I'd imagine there aren't too many copies of thon game you're on about on sale in Baghdad.

    I don't think we're particularly sensitive. i think anywhere in the world people are gonna be offended if you make a fun, enjoyable game depicting the violent murders of their loved ones, often in the very recent past. I don't see what's so hard to understand about this.

    And as for the old red herring Freedom of Expression argument....

    Yes, you have every right to say and do things that horribly offend people. It is your absolute right to do this, and we should all stand up and fight for such a right...

    But here, don't be a wee w[b:54e7e53c3b][/b:54e7e53c3b]anker. Nobody likes a wee w[b:54e7e53c3b][/b:54e7e53c3b]anker that goes about gratuitously offending people all the time. It's not nice.[/quote:54e7e53c3b]


    Have to disagree here chi-lite, freedom of expression should not suddenly be cast aside when it's "too close to home". This freedom is open to both the sheeite stirring wab and the insightful social commentator alike. I'm sure you know this quote but it's always worth wheeling out.
    “If we don't believe in freedom of expression for people we despise, we don't believe in it at all.”

    I have very little time for the moral outrage equivalent of "think of the children". It happens quite a bit on here. Trying to erase all offensive material from existence is not the answer, I hope you'll agree
  179. avatar Chi-Lite
    Aye, but what you're forgetting there is that you bucking love it.

    Sure you make a living out of it. :P

    As does fat-boy Nolan.

    And you're cut from his thread, and you know it.
  180. avatar fastfude
    [quote:42a9f01953="Zwaddap_deep_doo"][quote:42a9f01953="Chi-Lite"][quote:42a9f01953="3cigarettes"][quote:42a9f01953="Chi-Lite"]But to be fair, he was a wee d[b:42a9f01953][/b:42a9f01953]ick.

    Quite obviously a game like that is gonna cause offence to some people, and I say they've every right to get offended.
    [/quote:42a9f01953]


    "The right to be offended" begins and ends with choosing to partake in whatever is offending you or walking away.

    It doesn't include expecting anyone else to care.[/quote:42a9f01953]

    But, fegs, there are some things that can offend just by their very existence. You wait til I make a light hearted game about your mother dying of cancer, using real names, dates and places. Then, when I say "Well, if you don't like it, just don't play it", you can be happy that your argument stands up.

    But don't you think the very fact of me having fun with the idea of your mothers slow painful death is a bit out of order, even if I don't force you to play it?

    And, as for an earlier point, I think that people in Iraq probably would, and should get offended about a game which makes a fun pastime out of so much suffering, if they didn't have plenty of other stuff to worry about.

    It's just simply wrong to make fun of other peoples suffering. It's always wrong in general, but particularly when it's so close to home. Which is why I'd imagine there aren't too many copies of thon game you're on about on sale in Baghdad.

    I don't think we're particularly sensitive. i think anywhere in the world people are gonna be offended if you make a fun, enjoyable game depicting the violent murders of their loved ones, often in the very recent past. I don't see what's so hard to understand about this.

    And as for the old red herring Freedom of Expression argument....

    Yes, you have every right to say and do things that horribly offend people. It is your absolute right to do this, and we should all stand up and fight for such a right...

    But here, don't be a wee w[b:42a9f01953][/b:42a9f01953]anker. Nobody likes a wee w[b:42a9f01953][/b:42a9f01953]anker that goes about gratuitously offending people all the time. It's not nice.[/quote:42a9f01953]


    Have to disagree here chi-lite, freedom of expression should not suddenly be cast aside when it's "too close to home". This freedom is open to both the sheeite stirring wab and the insightful social commentator alike. I'm sure you know this quote but it's always worth wheeling out.
    “If we don't believe in freedom of expression for people we despise, we don't believe in it at all.”

    I have very little time for the moral outrage equivalent of "think of the children". It happens quite a bit on here. Trying to erase all offensive material from existence is not the answer, I hope you'll agree[/quote:42a9f01953]

    There aren't nearly enough quotes of quotes of quotes in this thread.
  181. avatar Zwaddap_deep_doo
    [quote:6ee67affe6="fastfude"][quote:6ee67affe6="Zwaddap_deep_doo"][quote:6ee67affe6="Chi-Lite"][quote:6ee67affe6="3cigarettes"][quote:6ee67affe6="Chi-Lite"]But to be fair, he was a wee d[b:6ee67affe6][/b:6ee67affe6]ick.

    Quite obviously a game like that is gonna cause offence to some people, and I say they've every right to get offended.
    [/quote:6ee67affe6]


    "The right to be offended" begins and ends with choosing to partake in whatever is offending you or walking away.

    It doesn't include expecting anyone else to care.[/quote:6ee67affe6]

    But, fegs, there are some things that can offend just by their very existence. You wait til I make a light hearted game about your mother dying of cancer, using real names, dates and places. Then, when I say "Well, if you don't like it, just don't play it", you can be happy that your argument stands up.

    But don't you think the very fact of me having fun with the idea of your mothers slow painful death is a bit out of order, even if I don't force you to play it?

    And, as for an earlier point, I think that people in Iraq probably would, and should get offended about a game which makes a fun pastime out of so much suffering, if they didn't have plenty of other stuff to worry about.

    It's just simply wrong to make fun of other peoples suffering. It's always wrong in general, but particularly when it's so close to home. Which is why I'd imagine there aren't too many copies of thon game you're on about on sale in Baghdad.

    I don't think we're particularly sensitive. i think anywhere in the world people are gonna be offended if you make a fun, enjoyable game depicting the violent murders of their loved ones, often in the very recent past. I don't see what's so hard to understand about this.

    And as for the old red herring Freedom of Expression argument....

    Yes, you have every right to say and do things that horribly offend people. It is your absolute right to do this, and we should all stand up and fight for such a right...

    But here, don't be a wee w[b:6ee67affe6][/b:6ee67affe6]anker. Nobody likes a wee w[b:6ee67affe6][/b:6ee67affe6]anker that goes about gratuitously offending people all the time. It's not nice.[/quote:6ee67affe6]


    Have to disagree here chi-lite, freedom of expression should not suddenly be cast aside when it's "too close to home". This freedom is open to both the sheeite stirring wab and the insightful social commentator alike. I'm sure you know this quote but it's always worth wheeling out.
    “If we don't believe in freedom of expression for people we despise, we don't believe in it at all.”

    I have very little time for the moral outrage equivalent of "think of the children". It happens quite a bit on here. Trying to erase all offensive material from existence is not the answer, I hope you'll agree[/quote:6ee67affe6]

    There aren't nearly enough quotes of quotes of quotes in this thread.[/quote:6ee67affe6]

    Pardon?

    EDIT: To die the flu - we're hilarious. *high five*
    Last edited on , 1 times in total.
  182. avatar die the flu
    [quote:5103e442f8="fastfude"][quote:5103e442f8="Zwaddap_deep_doo"][quote:5103e442f8="Chi-Lite"][quote:5103e442f8="3cigarettes"][quote:5103e442f8="Chi-Lite"]But to be fair, he was a wee d[b:5103e442f8][/b:5103e442f8]ick.

    Quite obviously a game like that is gonna cause offence to some people, and I say they've every right to get offended.
    [/quote:5103e442f8]


    "The right to be offended" begins and ends with choosing to partake in whatever is offending you or walking away.

    It doesn't include expecting anyone else to care.[/quote:5103e442f8]

    But, fegs, there are some things that can offend just by their very existence. You wait til I make a light hearted game about your mother dying of cancer, using real names, dates and places. Then, when I say "Well, if you don't like it, just don't play it", you can be happy that your argument stands up.

    But don't you think the very fact of me having fun with the idea of your mothers slow painful death is a bit out of order, even if I don't force you to play it?

    And, as for an earlier point, I think that people in Iraq probably would, and should get offended about a game which makes a fun pastime out of so much suffering, if they didn't have plenty of other stuff to worry about.

    It's just simply wrong to make fun of other peoples suffering. It's always wrong in general, but particularly when it's so close to home. Which is why I'd imagine there aren't too many copies of thon game you're on about on sale in Baghdad.

    I don't think we're particularly sensitive. i think anywhere in the world people are gonna be offended if you make a fun, enjoyable game depicting the violent murders of their loved ones, often in the very recent past. I don't see what's so hard to understand about this.

    And as for the old red herring Freedom of Expression argument....

    Yes, you have every right to say and do things that horribly offend people. It is your absolute right to do this, and we should all stand up and fight for such a right...

    But here, don't be a wee w[b:5103e442f8][/b:5103e442f8]anker. Nobody likes a wee w[b:5103e442f8][/b:5103e442f8]anker that goes about gratuitously offending people all the time. It's not nice.[/quote:5103e442f8]


    Have to disagree here chi-lite, freedom of expression should not suddenly be cast aside when it's "too close to home". This freedom is open to both the sheeite stirring wab and the insightful social commentator alike. I'm sure you know this quote but it's always worth wheeling out.
    “If we don't believe in freedom of expression for people we despise, we don't believe in it at all.”

    I have very little time for the moral outrage equivalent of "think of the children". It happens quite a bit on here. Trying to erase all offensive material from existence is not the answer, I hope you'll agree[/quote:5103e442f8]

    There aren't nearly enough quotes of quotes of quotes in this thread.[/quote:5103e442f8]

    I agree.
  183. avatar T Entertainment
    Speaking of which, seems the Listen Again feature has been revamped and you can now hear the Akercocke radio row (which was an awful lot more coherent than the telly one)
    25 minutes in on the Thursday show:

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/northernireland/nolan/listenagain/
  184. avatar The Grace Jones
    Irrelevant to Akercocke, as they mentioned, but with relevance to the Christian fellow on the Nolan show who seemed to find these rules in some way morally repugnant and worthy of his outrage (mind you he started with the last one so I do wonder where he would have went afterwards if he hadn't been derailed due to his own irrelevance), I post herewith for your reference :

    1. Do not give opinions or advice unless you are asked.

    2. Do not tell your troubles to others unless you are sure they want to hear them.

    3. When in another’s lair, show him respect or else do not go there.

    4. If a guest in your lair annoys you, treat him cruelly and without mercy.

    5. Do not make sexual advances unless you are given the mating signal.

    6. Do not take that which does not belong to you unless it is a burden to the other person and he cries out to be relieved.

    7. Acknowledge the power of magic if you have employed it successfully to obtain your desires. If you deny the power of magic after having called upon it with success, you will lose all you have obtained.

    8. Do not complain about anything to which you need not subject yourself.

    9. Do not harm little children.

    10. Do not kill non-human animals unless you are attacked or for your food.

    11. When walking in open territory, bother no one. If someone bothers you, ask him to stop. If he does not stop, destroy him.




    Problem?
  185. avatar RAAP Management
    But context is everything: "5. Do not make sexual advances unless you are given the mating signal."

    For instance, the recognised mating signal for a woman in the local music scene is posting on Fastfude, or being in a band. :P
  186. avatar The Grace Jones
    1. Do not give opinions or advice unless you are asked.


    :wink:
  187. avatar RAAP Management
    En guarde!

    "8. Do not complain about anything to which you need not subject yourself."
  188. avatar die the flu
    [quote:5bb16e3be6]1. Do not give opinions or advice unless you are asked.

    2. Do not tell your troubles to others unless you are sure they want to hear them.

    3. When in another’s lair, show him respect or else do not go there.

    4. If a guest in your lair annoys you, treat him cruelly and without mercy.

    5. Do not make sexual advances unless you are given the mating signal.

    6. Do not take that which does not belong to you unless it is a burden to the other person and he cries out to be relieved.

    7. Acknowledge the power of magic if you have employed it successfully to obtain your desires. If you deny the power of magic after having called upon it with success, you will lose all you have obtained.

    8. Do not complain about anything to which you need not subject yourself.

    9. Do not harm little children.

    10. Do not kill non-human animals unless you are attacked or for your food.

    11. When walking in open territory, bother no one. If someone bothers you, ask him to stop. If he does not stop, destroy him. [/quote:5bb16e3be6]

    Sounds like a Tory manifesto.

    Erm, as regards number 10, does that mean killing human animals is generally ok?...
  189. avatar The Grace Jones
    Not "generally", but implying that there are situations in which it might be ok, yes, over and above the very specific rules for non-human animals.
    Last edited on , 1 times in total.
  190. avatar Crackity_jones
    [quote:f83afc3947="The Grace Jones"]4. If a guest in your lair annoys you, treat him cruelly and without mercy.


    Problem?[/quote:f83afc3947]

    Yeah, with that one at least.
  191. avatar zebulon
    [quote:0e83610da7="Crackity_jones"][quote:0e83610da7="The Grace Jones"]4. If a guest in your lair annoys you, treat him cruelly and without mercy.

    Problem?[/quote:0e83610da7]Yeah, with that one at least.[/quote:0e83610da7]Really? Why?
    Last edited on , 1 times in total.
  192. avatar The Grace Jones
    Go on?
  193. avatar Crackity_jones
    [quote:e0f2548237="zebulon"][quote:e0f2548237="Crackity_jones"][quote:e0f2548237="The Grace Jones"]4. If a guest in your lair annoys you, treat him cruelly and without mercy.
    Problem?[/quote:e0f2548237]
    Yeah, with that one at least.[/quote:e0f2548237]Really? Why?[/quote:e0f2548237]

    Well, I try not to show merciless cruelty to anyone! Even when being annoyed in my "lair". I value courtesy and civility - a simple "please leave" would suffice. I kind of thought that was a given, perhaps not...
  194. avatar The Fires of Hell
    I actually did one of Akercocke's first interviews six years ago. Pardon the juvenalia, but here it is dug out from the bunker:

    http://www.metalireland.com/interv/akercok.html

    Their views were much more cool back then.

    [quote:269b78001e]Akercocke is the representation of the collective primal force of artists expressing the joy of life through Satan. It's that simple. [/quote:269b78001e]

    Rock.
  195. avatar Baelmammon
    The Nine Satanic Statements from Dr Anton LaVey:

    1. Satan represents indulgence, instead of abstinence!

    2. Satan represents vital existence, instead of spiritual pipedreams!

    3. Satan represents undefiled wisdom, instead of hypocritical self-deceit!

    4. Satan represents kindness to those who deserve it, instead of love wasted on ingrates!

    5. Satan represents vengeance, instead of turning the other cheek!

    6. Satan represents responsibility to the responsible, instead of concern for psychic vampires!

    7. Satan represents man as just another animal, sometimes better, more often worse than those that walk on all fours, who, because of his "divine spiritual and intellectual development" has become the most vicious animal of all!

    8. Satan represents all the so-called sins, as they all lead to physical, mental, or emotional gratification!

    9. Satan has been the best friend of the church as he has kept it in business all of these years.

    Having read alot of Anton LaVey's literature in my youth, the conclusion I came to was that its very machiavellian and has some interesting theories,put its the first thing christians jump onto oh the "Satanic Bible" its just the name of a book.Thought it was funny when the guy from Akercocke laughed when the christian guy read out the LaVey stuff. I mean its not like Occult literature hasn't spanned thousands of years.Stupid peoples.
  196. avatar tinpot anto
    I mean most Satanists are all right, it's just the one's who are all unholier-than-thou, and run about non-judging people just so they can feel worse about their own pitiful existence, that give the rest a bad name.
  197. avatar The Grace Jones
    [quote:5c9c11cecf]Well, I try not to show merciless cruelty to anyone! Even when being annoyed in my "lair". I value courtesy and civility - a simple "please leave" would suffice. I kind of thought that was a given, perhaps not... [/quote:5c9c11cecf]

    It's open to (and indeed worthless without) personal interpretation and should be applied individually to each situation, as is the case with all of the above, so the level of "cruelty" and "mercilessness" involved should be based upon the severity of the annoyance, starting from mild ire up to and including perhaps a cricket bat or similar blunt instrument.

    And besides, if the transgressor had had the wit and decency to follow rule 3 they wouldn't have annoyed you in the first place...
  198. avatar tinpot anto
    It's getting pretty close to "Wise Up" time again.
  199. avatar The Grace Jones
    Could we not have 2 "beers" instead of a "wise up"?
  200. avatar tinpot anto
    Beer is the carrot, wise up is the stick. 8)
  201. avatar Crackity_jones
    [quote:389349e47a="The Grace Jones"][quote:389349e47a]Well, I try not to show merciless cruelty to anyone! Even when being annoyed in my "lair". I value courtesy and civility - a simple "please leave" would suffice. I kind of thought that was a given, perhaps not... [/quote:389349e47a]

    It's open to (and indeed worthless without) personal interpretation and should be applied individually to each situation, as is the case with all of the above, so the level of "cruelty" and "mercilessness" involved should be based upon the severity of the annoyance, starting from mild ire up to and including perhaps a cricket bat or similar blunt instrument.

    And besides, if the transgressor had had the wit and decency to follow rule 3 they wouldn't have annoyed you in the first place...[/quote:389349e47a]

    I see your point, but it's the lack of mercy I have a problem with. Even at its extreme, where for example a country is invaded and responds militarily, I still believe the response should be proportionate and strategic - not simply for the sake of revenge or causing harm and suffering to the transgressor.

    There are some sane ideas here, but the celebration of "all sins" (up to and including murder it seems) and absolute freedom to do what one wants regardless of its impact on others is something I can't buy into.
  202. avatar Crackity_jones
    ...added to the fact it's worship of a deity I don't believe in...
  203. avatar The Grace Jones
    [quote:107f4faa32="Crackity_jones"]...added to the fact it's worship of a deity I don't believe in...[/quote:107f4faa32]

    The LaVey philosophy doesn't feature worship, or even go in much for the existence of Satan as a deity or any other kind of being, more as a concept regarding free will.

    I'm not a Satanist, LaVeyan or otherwise btw, I just find the LaVey stuff particularly interesting with regard to it's emphasis on personal responsibility and accountability, and wonder then, with genuine interest, whether the Christian upset displayed is merely knees jerking at the mention of the word "Satan", or whether the concept of personal responsibility for and accountability for one's own actions is genuinely a morally repugnant notion to some people.
  204. avatar Chi-Lite
    [quote:5bc7015af4="Zwaddap_deep_doo"][quote:5bc7015af4="Chi-Lite"][quote:5bc7015af4="3cigarettes"][quote:5bc7015af4="Chi-Lite"]But to be fair, he was a wee d[b:5bc7015af4][/b:5bc7015af4]ick.

    Quite obviously a game like that is gonna cause offence to some people, and I say they've every right to get offended.
    [/quote:5bc7015af4]


    "The right to be offended" begins and ends with choosing to partake in whatever is offending you or walking away.

    It doesn't include expecting anyone else to care.[/quote:5bc7015af4]

    But, fegs, there are some things that can offend just by their very existence. You wait til I make a light hearted game about your mother dying of cancer, using real names, dates and places. Then, when I say "Well, if you don't like it, just don't play it", you can be happy that your argument stands up.

    But don't you think the very fact of me having fun with the idea of your mothers slow painful death is a bit out of order, even if I don't force you to play it?

    And, as for an earlier point, I think that people in Iraq probably would, and should get offended about a game which makes a fun pastime out of so much suffering, if they didn't have plenty of other stuff to worry about.

    It's just simply wrong to make fun of other peoples suffering. It's always wrong in general, but particularly when it's so close to home. Which is why I'd imagine there aren't too many copies of thon game you're on about on sale in Baghdad.

    I don't think we're particularly sensitive. i think anywhere in the world people are gonna be offended if you make a fun, enjoyable game depicting the violent murders of their loved ones, often in the very recent past. I don't see what's so hard to understand about this.

    And as for the old red herring Freedom of Expression argument....

    Yes, you have every right to say and do things that horribly offend people. It is your absolute right to do this, and we should all stand up and fight for such a right...

    But here, don't be a wee w[b:5bc7015af4][/b:5bc7015af4]anker. Nobody likes a wee w[b:5bc7015af4][/b:5bc7015af4]anker that goes about gratuitously offending people all the time. It's not nice.[/quote:5bc7015af4]


    Have to disagree here chi-lite, freedom of expression should not suddenly be cast aside when it's "too close to home". This freedom is open to both the sheeite stirring wab and the insightful social commentator alike. I'm sure you know this quote but it's always worth wheeling out.
    ?If we don't believe in freedom of expression for people we despise, we don't believe in it at all.?

    I have very little time for the moral outrage equivalent of "think of the children". It happens quite a bit on here. Trying to erase all offensive material from existence is not the answer, I hope you'll agree[/quote:5bc7015af4]

    Yes, I do agree.

    More than once I've said "Should we ban it all outright......No"

    More than once I've offered the perfect antidote to any of these perrenial threads about freedom of expression.

    "Yes, you have freedom of expression. Well for you. Now stop being a wee d[b:5bc7015af4][/b:5bc7015af4]ick. I'm not going to stop you, because you have freedom of expression. But, ach, don't be.
    You wee d[b:5bc7015af4][/b:5bc7015af4]ick"

    Simple as that really.

    As Anto says, this, like most things, boils down to a simple request;

    Here, wise the bap, you wee d[b:5bc7015af4][/b:5bc7015af4]ick
  205. avatar Chi-Lite
    [quote:36cfe3012b="The Grace Jones"]Irrelevant to Akercocke, as they mentioned, but with relevance to the Christian fellow on the Nolan show who seemed to find these rules in some way morally repugnant and worthy of his outrage (mind you he started with the last one so I do wonder where he would have went afterwards if he hadn't been derailed due to his own irrelevance), I post herewith for your reference :

    1. Do not give opinions or advice unless you are asked.

    2. Do not tell your troubles to others unless you are sure they want to hear them.

    3. When in another?s lair, show him respect or else do not go there.

    4. If a guest in your lair annoys you, treat him cruelly and without mercy.

    5. Do not make sexual advances unless you are given the mating signal.

    6. Do not take that which does not belong to you unless it is a burden to the other person and he cries out to be relieved.

    7. Acknowledge the power of magic if you have employed it successfully to obtain your desires. If you deny the power of magic after having called upon it with success, you will lose all you have obtained.

    8. Do not complain about anything to which you need not subject yourself.

    9. Do not harm little children.

    10. Do not kill non-human animals unless you are attacked or for your food.

    11. When walking in open territory, bother no one. If someone bothers you, ask him to stop. If he does not stop, destroy him.




    Problem?[/quote:36cfe3012b]

    Well yes. Where in those rules does it say "You must write lyrics about murder and mutilation, and make a screamy song out of them, because only then will people be prompted to question their baseless morality"

    Doesn't that violate rules 1, 2 and 8?


    And here, why not harm little children? Isn't that just another of those foundationless ethical imperatives that we're all slave to?

    If you're gonna reject morality, at least be whole-hearted about it.
  206. avatar 3cigarettes
    The problem with your repeated singular argument of "Here, wise the bap, you wee dick", is that not everyone agrees on who the dick is. In any given situation in the freedom of expression argument the "dick" could be the overly touchy "wab" crying or it could be the "dick" using his freedom of expression.

    It's subjective to a degree, and ultimately comes down to whether you think peoples right to be offended is more important than peoples right to say or express themselves how they see fit, regardless of whether they care or not whether you think they are a "wee dick."

    Since I have the freedom to simply ignore a "dick" when I see one, I prefer the latter. Unfortunately the former means we generally end up cowering below the unreasonable demands of overly conservative twats who erode civil liberties.

    Which in reality goes against one of the few good things worth keeping that seperates us from living in a shítty totalitarian state like Saudi Arabia.
  207. avatar The Grace Jones
    [quote:33ff6a3816="Chi-Lite"]Well yes. Where in those rules does it say "You must write lyrics about murder and mutilation, and make a screamy song out of them, because only then will people be prompted to question their baseless morality"[/quote:33ff6a3816]

    Nowhere whatsoever. Did anyone write such lyrics or such a song as a result of or in reference to those rules?

    [quote:33ff6a3816="Chi-Lite"]And here, why not harm little children? [/quote:33ff6a3816]
    That should be obvious to anyone.

    [quote:33ff6a3816="Chi-Lite"]If you're gonna reject morality, at least be whole-hearted about it.[/quote:33ff6a3816]

    If I may quote directly from an actual member of LaVey's Church on that one, as I gather it's a type of statement said Church is familiar in responding to :

    [quote:33ff6a3816]How many people, when you’ve told them that you’re a Satanist, get this odd look dawning on their faces and say, “Well, gee—if I didn’t believe in God, I could do anything I wanted to! That would be terrible! What would stop people from lying and raping and stealing?” Maybe they would. But Satanists have better perspective, longer-range goals. We know that, if we choose to live in a civilized society, we curb certain impulses, cooperate when we’d rather not, and follow certain necessary rules for the good of all concerned. We expect others to do likewise and we expect swift justice when they don’t. That’s ethics, not morality. Only now, at the turn of this new millennium, are upstanding, well-programmed citizens finally realizing morality is bankrupt; it has no teeth without threats from a supernatural hitman in the sky. [/quote:33ff6a3816]

    If the subject at hand is one that's of interest to you, I would be more than happy to direct you towards some reading materials that might assist you in broadening your knowledge of it.
  208. avatar rentaghost
    I read through that list Baelmammon posted and the bits I have the bigggest problems with are 4 and 5.

    [quote:57b6ec772d]
    4. Satan represents kindness to those who deserve it, instead of love wasted on ingrates!

    5. Satan represents vengeance, instead of turning the other cheek! [/quote:57b6ec772d]

    I don't believe love is ever wasted.
    Vengeance is often wrongfully applied, even by those who would class themselves as responsible.
  209. avatar The Grace Jones
    I don't like the vengeance bit either. When it comes to vengeance I think the best philosophy is "don't", even if it could be somehow justified.

    I do tend to kind of agree with the love bit, kind of, in principle, maybe, but don't class too many if any people as "ingrates" in that regard. Maybe [i:4c594e76b8]really really bad evil[/i:4c594e76b8] people, in theory, but luckily I don't think I know any. You could spend a fair bit of time thinking about that one I reckon... but probably not on a Monday night.
  210. avatar 3cigarettes
    [quote:6872b4fc0a="rentaghost"]I don't believe love is ever wasted.[/quote:6872b4fc0a]


    In all seriousness, I wish I had your optimism.
  211. avatar thehellfireclub
    In the last photo I saw of LaVey he was wearing a 'ming the merciless' skullcap and full robes, sporting a little Lucifer beard, and was holding some sort of chalice above his head. Get real. Anyway, on the point of freedom of expression, a great thing about good journalism is that it gives you an impression of something before you spend any time or money on it. Read your journalists, listen to people whose tastes you trust, and then let the market decide.
    Nolan is a sensationalist, he is the old biddy speculating from behind twitching curtains. Do you really know anything about that game or that band from watching 'Nolan'?
  212. avatar Zwaddap_deep_doo
    [quote:ab0143ae72="tinpot anto"]Beer is the carrot, wise up is the stick. 8)[/quote:ab0143ae72]

    Ha, very good. :)
  213. avatar Chi-Lite
    [quote:69a1a01b3c="The Grace Jones"][quote:69a1a01b3c="Chi-Lite"]Well yes. Where in those rules does it say "You must write lyrics about murder and mutilation, and make a screamy song out of them, because only then will people be prompted to question their baseless morality"[/quote:69a1a01b3c]

    Nowhere whatsoever. Did anyone write such lyrics or such a song as a result of or in reference to those rules?

    [quote:69a1a01b3c="Chi-Lite"]And here, why not harm little children? [/quote:69a1a01b3c]
    That should be obvious to anyone.

    [quote:69a1a01b3c="Chi-Lite"]If you're gonna reject morality, at least be whole-hearted about it.[/quote:69a1a01b3c]

    If I may quote directly from an actual member of LaVey's Church on that one, as I gather it's a type of statement said Church is familiar in responding to :

    [quote:69a1a01b3c]How many people, when you?ve told them that you?re a Satanist, get this odd look dawning on their faces and say, ?Well, gee?if I didn?t believe in God, I could do anything I wanted to! That would be terrible! What would stop people from lying and raping and stealing?? Maybe they would. But Satanists have better perspective, longer-range goals. We know that, if we choose to live in a civilized society, we curb certain impulses, cooperate when we?d rather not, and follow certain necessary rules for the good of all concerned. We expect others to do likewise and we expect swift justice when they don?t. That?s ethics, not morality. Only now, at the turn of this new millennium, are upstanding, well-programmed citizens finally realizing morality is bankrupt; it has no teeth without threats from a supernatural hitman in the sky. [/quote:69a1a01b3c]

    If the subject at hand is one that's of interest to you, I would be more than happy to direct you towards some reading materials that might assist you in broadening your knowledge of it.[/quote:69a1a01b3c]


    Yes, I know they claim to have Ethics of sorts, but my point is, on what foundations do these ethics rest?

    Is there an objective notion of "Good", or is "Good" just whatever you will it to be?

    Are these ethics which are followed by satanists objective ethics? If so, on what basis are they grounded? And if not, what's to stop someone subjectively willing that it would be good for them to murder children?

    Why should you follow long term objectives for the good of all concerned? Is there a notion of the human good? If so, what gives this notion it's value.

    My general point is, that in claiming that most peoples morals are based on unquestioning authority and a slave mentality, what do they replace these things with.

    Do you do things for your own good, or for the good of everyone? If you do things for the good of everyone, and you follow a utilitarian ethic, in what way are you a satanist and not just a humanist.

    Either you accept that there are ethics/morals, which have an objective foundation, in which case you have to account for this objective foundation; or you don't, in which case you can do anything you want.

    How do they account for these "Ethics" that they talk about, other than with an objective, even if analogical, notion of "Good"?

    And if they accept an objective, albeit analogical notion of "Good", then they're not really f[b:69a1a01b3c][/b:69a1a01b3c]ucking satanists are they? They're actually utilitarians with a sensationalist tendency.

    W[b:69a1a01b3c][/b:69a1a01b3c]ankers, I mean.
  214. avatar kingmob
    Philosophical nonce-sense; what [i:ee7c93231f]is[/i:ee7c93231f] it?
  215. avatar The Grace Jones
    [quote:cfad89e386="Chi-Lite"]lots of stuff.[/quote:cfad89e386]

    You've lost me a bit to be honest, but I'll try my best to help;

    I think the reading material I offered to direct you to earlier could probably help you out to some degree with your interest in the subject, although many of the answers you seek might already be contained in this thread.

    Some of the terms you’re using aren’t things I know much about or even really understand, so I don't feel qualified to comment on them. For information on how '[i:cfad89e386]utilitarian ethics[/i:cfad89e386]', '[i:cfad89e386]humanism,[/i:cfad89e386]' '[i:cfad89e386]an analogical notion of "Good"'[/i:cfad89e386] and '[i:cfad89e386]w[b:cfad89e386][/b:cfad89e386]ankers[/i:cfad89e386]' fit into the picture, sadly I cannot assist you, you will have to research these things for yourself.
  216. avatar tinpot anto
    Have youse all not just wised up and gone for a beer yet?

    Seriously the time is long passed.

    At the very least you could admit that professed satanism isn't really a proper religion anyway, but just an ornamental affectation of the lifestyle of a perfectly sound sub-culture?
  217. avatar Chi-Lite
    What's sound about destroying people who bother you while you're traversing open ground?

    Or sound about treating annoying people cruelly and without mercy?

    It's not a sound subculture. It's childish young people who hate their mummies and daddies, not for any proper reason, but because they're ungrateful wee d[b:84610747d8][/b:84610747d8]icks
  218. avatar T Entertainment
    Marty, I can't imagine why you dislike the Nolan show, it seems tailor made for you given those views!
    Still, note you forced yourself to watch it all and are still talking about its subject matter a week later. :P

    Which is why it's a genius piece of broadcasting: even people who can't stand it generally fail to miss it.
    Last edited on , 1 times in total.
  219. avatar zebulon
    [quote:81d0f38045="Chi-Lite"]What's sound about destroying people who bother you while you're traversing open ground?
    Or sound about treating annoying people cruelly and without mercy?
    It's not a sound subculture. It's childish young people who hate their mummies and daddies, not for any proper reason, but because they're ungrateful wee d[b:81d0f38045][/b:81d0f38045]icks[/quote:81d0f38045]
    Only if you insist on dealing with things in blank and white terms, with an "either A or B" answer.

    And if [i:81d0f38045]your[/i:81d0f38045] belief system doesn't demand that, why are you assuming that anyone else's does?
  220. avatar Chi-Lite
    [quote:a68ff2847c="3cigarettes"]The problem with your repeated singular argument of "Here, wise the bap, you wee dick", is that not everyone agrees on who the dick is.[/quote:a68ff2847c]

    But that's not really a problem, considering I'm advocating nothing more than saying that someone's a wee dick. And the beauty about that is that, even if you're completely wrong, it doesn't matter, because you have freedom of expression


    [quote:a68ff2847c]It's subjective to a degree, and ultimately comes down to whether you think peoples right to be offended is more important than peoples right to say or express themselves how they see fit, regardless of whether they care or not whether you think they are a "wee d[b:a68ff2847c][/b:a68ff2847c]ick."[/quote:a68ff2847c]

    That's the whole point. I'm not talking about people's right to be offended. I'm talking about people's right to go "Sure nah, you wee d[b:a68ff2847c][/b:a68ff2847c]ick" whenever they are offended.

    you seem to be mistaking the act of calling somebody a wee dick with the act of cutting off a wee d[b:a68ff2847c][/b:a68ff2847c]ick's lips
  221. avatar Chi-Lite
    [quote:ca4927e2d9="zebulon"][quote:ca4927e2d9="Chi-Lite"]What's sound about destroying people who bother you while you're traversing open ground?
    Or sound about treating annoying people cruelly and without mercy?
    It's not a sound subculture. It's childish young people who hate their mummies and daddies, not for any proper reason, but because they're ungrateful wee d[b:ca4927e2d9][/b:ca4927e2d9]icks[/quote:ca4927e2d9]
    Only if you insist on dealing with things in blank and white terms, with an "either A or B" answer.

    And if [i:ca4927e2d9]your[/i:ca4927e2d9] belief system doesn't demand that, why are you assuming that anyone else's does?[/quote:ca4927e2d9]

    you've lost me there.....who said anything about black and white terms?

    It's the language used that suggests a totally unbalanced ethical system.
    "Destroying" someone who "annoys" you seems a bit unbalanced, even if it's an extremely complex circumstance with many shades of grey.
  222. avatar Chi-Lite
    [quote:6eb0b52f93="T Entertainment"]Marty, I can't imagine why you dislike the Nolan show, it seems tailor made for you given those views!
    Still, note you forced yourself to watch it all and are still talking about its subject matter a week later. :P

    Which is why it's a genius piece of broadcasting: even people who can't stand it generally fail to miss it.[/quote:6eb0b52f93]

    Well, to be fair, I caught the ad for it after the news and thought, "I might watch that, to see what a hash he makes of it.

    I can understand why that might get people watching, but it hardly makes it genius. Spectacularly bad car crash broadcasting more like, and that's not the same thing.
  223. avatar T Entertainment
    To win that many awards, and his tally is unprecedented (national awards, not poxy local stuff), you have to have something going on that's really uniquely well conceived and executed. That TV prog has 50% audience share sometimes which is just enormous.
    You stuck with it till the end, Marty - that says a lot. :D
  224. avatar Osolarmilo
    [quote:230eedbc21="Chi-Lite"]"Destroying" someone who "annoys" you seems a bit unbalanced, even if it's an extremely complex circumstance with many shades of grey.[/quote:230eedbc21]

    Much like God went round destroying people who annoyed him? It's a silly argument on both sides anyway. There's clearly no god, and therefore no satan either - only arrogance and point gathering on forums, and people who need a light in the darkness or an irrational belief in something that takes responsibility out of their own hands. The arrogance certainly seems to be something which your an expert on anyway chi-lite. I wasn't going to post on this thread due to there being nothing more to say really, but just couldn't help myself after reading yet another holier than thou (funny that) post from you.

    How's about a nice discussion on music?
  225. avatar T Entertainment
    But was it not Jesus himself who said 'wise up, you wee dick'?
    Perhaps it was 'blessed are the wee dicks', it's been a while.
  226. avatar DontPetABurningDog
    Has anyone mentioned the Rott to fat boy yet?

    Maybe get him working for "us" (as in, people who aren't oul biddies) just for a change. Might be worth a lash...
  227. avatar 3cigarettes
    This chi lite fella sure talks a fair lot of crap.
  228. avatar tinpot anto
    Yes Chris, a number of times the exact verses your looking for is Gospel of Mark, Chapter 14:12, it's one of the Beatitudes:
    [i:5cd285347f]
    Blessed are those who have wised up; for they shall recieve beer.[/i:5cd285347f]

    And John 16:9

    [i:5cd285347f]Wise up![/i:5cd285347f]

    You'll notice that's the actual shortest verse in the bible - "Jesus wept" is just the more acceptable one :)
  229. avatar Chi-Lite
    Yes, nice to see a saisfactory conclusion, and good of you all to engage so fully in having a good think about things.

    [quote:7f5f2b2e04]There's clearly no god, and therefore no satan either[/quote:7f5f2b2e04]

    Very perceptive of you.......considering how dark it is.

    [quote:7f5f2b2e04]people who need a light in the darkness or an irrational belief in something that takes responsibility out of their own hands.[/quote:7f5f2b2e04]
  230. avatar Zwaddap_deep_doo
    Marty, are you suffering from "wee dick" syndrome? Is that what all this is about? :D

    But anyway, turns out it doesn't matter if God exists anyway cos he's an ABSENTEE LANDLORD!
  231. avatar die the flu
    God does exist, I see him on the face of every child, in the leaves blowing on the trees and the water flowing in the stream...


    Guffaw.
  232. avatar The enfant terrible
    Sometimes you people make me feel like I'm living in a mud hut on the edge of the world.
  233. avatar JonAftermath
    [quote:2365aed882]But anyway, turns out it doesn't matter if God exists anyway cos he's an ABSENTEE LANDLORD! [/quote:2365aed882]

    "Worship that? Never!"

    Brilliant film!
  234. avatar JonAftermath
    Eh check it out it's actually my avatar! forgot about that
  235. avatar Zwaddap_deep_doo
    Ha. remembered just after I posted that someone on here had that avatar. Nice one.
  236. avatar T Entertainment
    Tonight: Millies! and Fat People! (Some crossover to be expected.)
  237. avatar tinpot anto
    Eamonn McCann too!

    Quality :)
  238. avatar The enfant terrible
    Did you ever here that really bad spoken word single Eammon McCann released called 'McCann's the Man' with him reading brecht. Quality it ain't (and weren't).
  239. avatar ryanego
    I'm so sheltered and middle class that I didn't realise people actually left the house in their pyjamas. I can honestly say I've never seen anyone outside in pyjamas.

    On the one hand I think fair enough, wear what ye like, but then on the other I think its a bit of an indicator as to how lazy people are becoming and a bit sad that they can't even be fucked to have a wash and put their clothes on never mind contribute something to society. Maybe it should be a bit more difficult to get the dole and it should only be given to people who are genuinely trying to fend for themselves.
  240. avatar T Entertainment
    I would have been unware of it were it not for the joy of the Andersonstown News Text Your Brains section.
    Last night's show was f*cking great entertainment, I'd say. What's not to like about 5 millies in pyjamas screaming 'snab!' and 'yeoooooow!' at some caked up Jemima from the Ulster Tatler? :D
  241. avatar Ratoot
    It's the TV we've been waiting on....
  242. avatar T Entertainment
    The masses love it, Ray - surely you're not denegrating the taste of the ordinary people? :P

    Ooops, apologies. :D
    increasingly it's becoming a local version of That's Life crossed with Jerry Springer. Only more mad than even that sounds.
    Last edited on , 1 times in total.
  243. avatar Ratoot
    I'm not being sarcastic!

    :roll:
  244. avatar The Grace Jones
    Next on Nolan :

    "TPO member almost drops ball on 'voice of the common working class people' image shocker, hasty backtrack shocker" shocker
  245. avatar tinpot anto
    Away and get yourself a bucket.
  246. avatar Ratoot
    I'm a big fan of de-centralised TV.

    I was addressing a conference in London last week to that effect.

    So really, I wasn't being sarcastic I promise you!

    :?

    So yes it IS the Tv we've been waiting for, It's about time we had a regional show that actually addresses proper issues like Obesity, Anti-social behavior, water charges etc etc...

    Rather than, Them there terrorists and them there brits... like we used to get.

    The conference got funny when i asked some of the Londoners there how much they actually knew about NI. Or even life outside London. They knew very little.

    They know Eammon Holmes and Paddy Keilty.

    I'd like to take it further and have more nationally broadcast material from the regions.

    The idea wasn't universally agreed...

    :(
  247. avatar tinpot anto
    Bring back "Why Don't You?"

    :)
  248. avatar RAAP Management
    Nolan will almost certainly rise to Eamonn Holmes like level nationally, already happening with Five Live stuff he's doing...but not sure how the show with its current content would transfer to a network. But you never know, some things take off just [i:99b63ca190]because[/i:99b63ca190] they're windows into weird wee worlds. And NI is nothing if not a weird wee world...
  249. avatar The Grace Jones
    [quote:9b2a584fba="tinpot anto"]Away and get yourself a bucket.[/quote:9b2a584fba]


    :P :P :P :P

    [size=24:9b2a584fba][b:9b2a584fba]
    [color=black:9b2a584fba]QWERT[/color:9b2a584fba][color=red:9b2a584fba]Y[/color:9b2a584fba]
    [color=black:9b2a584fba]QWERT[/color:9b2a584fba]^
    [color=black:9b2a584fba]QWERT[/color:9b2a584fba]^
    [color=black:9b2a584fba]QWERT[/color:9b2a584fba]^
    QWERT UIOP[/b:9b2a584fba][/size:9b2a584fba]

    :P :P :P :P

    [quote:9b2a584fba]Er.. oh... i know it... oh... red Y? Top Y? Y at the top? Why me? Y going to the top?[/quote:9b2a584fba]

    [img:9b2a584fba]http://www.midland-entertainment.com/acts/after_dinner_roy_walker.jpg[/img:9b2a584fba]

    [quote:9b2a584fba]Yer good but yer nat right.[/quote:9b2a584fba]
  250. avatar tinpot anto
    Sweet, sweet, tiny baby Jesus forgive us. :roll:
  251. avatar I'mDead
    TEnt wrote.
    "What's not to like about 5 millies in pyjamas screaming 'snab!' and 'yeoooooow!' at some caked up Jemima from the Ulster Tatler?"

    Good sir, I concur. This is history in the making!
  252. avatar The Grace Jones
    [quote:5bc3f81794="tinpot anto"]Sweet, sweet, tiny baby Jesus forgive us. :roll:[/quote:5bc3f81794]

    1/ Baby Jesus represents Vengeance, not Forgiveness!

    wait...

    Sorry, my mistake. In the fog-enshrouded darkness of 21st Century Fastfude, all anthropomorphic personifications look the same.
  253. avatar Ratoot
    [quote:48dd3cd5e4]I'd like to take it further and have more nationally broadcast material from the regions. [/quote:48dd3cd5e4]

    [quote:48dd3cd5e4]but not sure how the show with its current content would transfer to a network.[/quote:48dd3cd5e4]

    Well, I'm not nessisarly talking about Nolan when I say that.

    I'm talking about the general picture of TV in the UK. The major networks need to get their act together because with YouTube et all, people are wanting more "Me TV".

    And if Joe in Inverness, Jack in Belfast, and John in Wrexham aren't given more "me TV" and are still asked to watch "London TV" then people will switch off...

    I mean it's already happening!
  254. avatar thehellfireclub
    I think I leapt into one of Nolan's stress dreams last night. He was naked from the waist up, standing on a set of scales on a stage, his weight projected against a large screen behind him while the entire audience pointed and jeered 'loser, loser, loser'. I think the audience may have been his BLANK.
    Anyone for a quick round of blankety blank?
  255. avatar Pix
    The Nolan Show tomorrow morning is going to have something on it about The Rotterdam, I filled in a wee comments form on the site the other day and got asked to be on the phone and talk to the Large Man about it and how it makes me mad. Regardless of the fact I'm not from Belfast, and have only lived here for the last 4 years. Should be fun!
  256. avatar ryanego
    [quote:3c14bbd275]TEnt wrote.
    "What's not to like about 5 millies in pyjamas screaming 'snab!' and 'yeoooooow!' at some caked up Jemima from the Ulster Tatler?"

    Good sir, I concur. This is history in the making! [/quote:3c14bbd275]

    "I'N NAT A MILLIE LEEK BUT ISNT THEM GORJIS LEEK?" *points at pyjama bottoms*

    Especially loved the texts that kept saying "That there millie in the green is a buck"

    I thought it was maybe a wee bit insensitive that every soldier that opened their mouth was English. Only served to fuel the text fire "them brits r bad pigs, u look lovely as u r steven" etc
  257. avatar Andrew
    I watched Nolan for the first time last night. Car crash TV at its very best. More please.
  258. avatar That Man Fanjo
    I'm sorry I missed this.


    Mainly because I like feeling superior to the kind of people who wear pyjamas outside.



    Says more about me than it does about them, really.
  259. avatar tinpot anto
    Aye see the heart of the matter is that *everyone* would love to lie about the house all day in their jammies and then not even have to give enough of a shit to change when you run out of fegs and nip down to the shop for 20 Mayfair!

    They are living the dream :)
  260. avatar drakeguild
    Null Entry.
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  261. avatar the dirty weed
    having "yeeoooo" shouted at you equates to "assault"?

    there, there.
  262. avatar Chi-Lite
    Yes, I was thinking that myself.....

    Maybe if you looked a little less like a freak, people wouldn't be compelled to shout at you in the street. :P

    And what's wrong with a "technical" college?
  263. avatar Daithi jasper
    Yeo. You poor thing. Maybe it was a compliment. Was the Yeo even addressed to you? :)
  264. avatar The Grace Jones
    I overheard a class one this morning on the bus. There were two young wimmen in the seat behind me that appeared to be of the millbeg persuasion. I don't know exactly what was taking place and was afraid to turn, but got something along the lines of :

    [quote:663b501412]MILLBEG # 1: look at this leek fuck SAKE its right round it leek
    MILLBEG # 2: what izzat? for fucks sake 'ats fucking mankin'
    MILLBEG # 1: itza fucking chewin'-gum rash[/quote:663b501412]
    er.. ?
  265. avatar Ratoot
    [quote:7dfdd12e76]the millbeg persuasion[/quote:7dfdd12e76]

    :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
  266. avatar drakeguild
    Null Entry.
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  267. avatar die the flu
    I walked through a congregation of spides yesterday morning and one of them said to his mate (who was bald): "He's away wiv yer hair mate!!".

    Cuz I needed a haircut and a shave.

    Genius.
  268. avatar The Grace Jones
    [quote:a3dcf0a157="drakeguild"][quote:a3dcf0a157="Daithi jasper"]Yeo. You poor thing. Maybe it was a compliment. Was the Yeo even addressed to you? :)[/quote:a3dcf0a157]

    Ha...yes. Anyway, I am not a snob in any way in that respect, and I do not give a damn what people wear, how they talk or where they are from. What I do have a problem with are these little steeks and millbags who make my life, and many other peoples lives less enjoyable on a regular basis. I have many friends who do not wear orange kappa tracksuits and have long hair, like myself. I am sick of walking down a street and having ''Hur mate, get a fookin hurcut ye hippy bawstard''. ...etc etc. And BTW..there is nothing wrong with a technical college, I went to one..I used ''technical'' to describe East Antrim Institue as I would not describe it as ''technical''...<img src='http://www.fastfude.org/forums/images/smiles/019.gif' /> hole, yes.[/quote:a3dcf0a157]

    [quote:a3dcf0a157="Lesshelp"]There's no need to cry. You can live: The Spide Must Die.[/quote:a3dcf0a157]
  269. avatar sheriffjohnstone
    [quote:da3efcc0c1="die the flu"]I walked through a congregation of spides yesterday morning and one of them said to his mate (who was bald): "He's away wiv yer hair mate!!".

    Cuz I needed a haircut and a shave.

    Genius.[/quote:da3efcc0c1]

    Ach I've heard the odd good one.
    Myself and a mate were in the garage on the Donegal road.We both happened to be wearing urban combats.Two little spides followed us round shouting "Its the Fucking Bushwackers".l thought it was pretty funny.
  270. avatar whosbainejakey
    [quote:d47551e45c="die the flu"]I walked through a congregation of spides yesterday morning and one of them said to his mate (who was bald): "He's away wiv yer hair mate!!".

    Cuz I needed a haircut and a shave.

    Genius.[/quote:d47551e45c]

    Sorry, but that's hair-larious! :lol:
  271. avatar Box Marked Commie
    You must accept the fact that you *are* a hippy bawstard, and embrace it. There's not point in self-denial, it will only make you conflicted and bitter.
  272. avatar I'mDead
    Spide culture can indeed result in mirth. My bro used to have these big sideburns, and this wee 7 year old spide goes "here mister, have ya gat a key for em lacks?". Which was funny.

    Another time, I got hit in the back of the neck by a spud thrown from about half a mile away on Fitzroy avenue, by a spide who had just walked past me. It was hilarious for the following reasons:
    1. - If he wanted to harm me, he could have just decked me at point blank range.
    2. - I had moved from the sticks to Belfast and still had to endure flying spuds.
    3. The sheer genius of the throw made me think of Crocodile Dundee, where Mick Dundee chucks the tin of beans at the mugger.

    fockin hilarious nay.
  273. avatar Numbnut Sounds
    i know of a member of a certain band was recently referred to as ..

    [quote:44921bd4ed]a fuc[b:44921bd4ed][/b:44921bd4ed]king coldplay bas[b:44921bd4ed][/b:44921bd4ed]tard[/quote:44921bd4ed]

    :lol: :lol: :lol: x10
  274. avatar Box Marked Commie
    When carrying a guitar, you get "Play iz a song ya hippy" followed by them air-guitaring some crappy dance track to death.
  275. avatar Crackity_jones
    I got hit on the head with a far-flung stone when walking home when i was 17. This was in Ballyclare, spide capital of rural south-east Antrim.
  276. avatar die the flu
    Out for a run this morning and spides shouted at me: "You smell!!"

    Pfff...
  277. avatar T Entertainment
    Tonight: Nolan in prison! And Shibaz, the bloke taken out of last year's BB for his own mental health. Oh, and Nolan pole dancing.
  278. avatar Dirty Stevie Grizz
    "THEM THIER PRISNERS HAVE IT AN GIFT SO THEY DO. MACKERS, BELFAST"

    x Infinity
  279. avatar T Entertainment
    [img:985856ef4b]http://bbimages.digitalspy.co.uk/bb7/library/200x150_bb7_hms_shahbaz01.jpg[/img:985856ef4b]

    Join me and some fun guy called Marty MC Guinness on Nolan Live tonight!!!!!!
  280. avatar doctorlilt
    so basically we're all saying Spides are good craic? :shock:

    Is this forum actually broken or something? *taps keyboard of desk*
  281. avatar Baelmammon
    For the love of the Gods not that shit again Big Brother crap, I mean some girl in work was like you watching Big brother tonight me "a no". Its like its something people can talk about and have a shallow conversation for the next 3 months or however long it last (which is way too long).

    edited cos Vino and Fastfude don't mix :oops:
    Last edited on , 1 times in total.
  282. avatar fastfude
    Less full stops, more commas.
  283. avatar xfirefishx
    That show has me fuming there by the end.
    Of all the people to have on the show to talk about reality TV. Shabaz! Oh yes, what a way to damage an already damaged man by putting him on TV and having dickheads from NI calling him an idiot. Fuck up! I actually wanted to ring in and go, what is wrong with you, BBC? Complaining about people courting controversy and about how people are treated in reality TV and you bring in someone who you know is going to be ridiculed. Aargh.

    Anyways, first time I watched it. Great show actually, especially the pole dancing young 'un at the end.

    I really wanted to punch Nolan's smug face though during that Martin McGuinness interview. That smirk was irking me.
  284. avatar Dirty Stevie Grizz
    [cringe]the pole dancing idiot at the end made me sick a little in my mouth[/cringe]
  285. avatar drakeguild
    Null Entry.
    Last edited on , 1 times in total.
  286. avatar die the flu
    I liked the way at the start of the bit about prisons Nolan shouted something like "Why should them there prisoners get Human Rights!?!"

    Er, cuz they're like "human"?

    All in all another depressing debacle indicating how the majority of folk in Northern Ireland appear to be backwards thinking inbreds.
  287. avatar I'mDead
    Shabaz is not damaged, he's just an idiot who needs to move out of his mums house, get a life and get a job and he selaed his fate the minte he sent off that BB audition tape.

    As for Nolan, its now been 2 days worth about how Paisley Jnr hates what gays and lezzers do and my head is wrecked.
  288. avatar gtm
    [quote:222ddc03fa="die the flu"]I liked the way at the start of the bit about prisons Nolan shouted something like "Why should them there prisoners get Human Rights!?!"

    Er, cuz they're like "human"?

    All in all another depressing debacle indicating how the majority of folk in Northern Ireland appear to be backwards thinking inbreds.[/quote:222ddc03fa]

    But surely there is something slightly unsettling about watching a self-confessed murderer sitting in a common room in his civvies playing Pro Evolution Soccer?
  289. avatar Crackity_jones
    [quote:346d5c8091="gtm"][quote:346d5c8091="die the flu"]I liked the way at the start of the bit about prisons Nolan shouted something like "Why should them there prisoners get Human Rights!?!"

    Er, cuz they're like "human"?

    All in all another depressing debacle indicating how the majority of folk in Northern Ireland appear to be backwards thinking inbreds.[/quote:346d5c8091]

    But surely there is something slightly unsettling about watching a self-confessed murderer sitting in a common room in his civvies playing Pro Evolution Soccer?[/quote:346d5c8091]

    More unsettling was the approval the American prison governor got from the audience. I love Nolan Live but it scares the bejesus out of me. You forget how seriously conservative NI is.
  290. avatar fastfude
    It would be interesting to see if someone could manipulate a setting like Nolan in the spirit of Brasseye. Go on to the show with some made up reactionary argument and see how far you can swing it to the extremities. Have the audience braying for blood then reveal the charade at the last minute and make 'em see just how easily led they are.
  291. avatar gtm
    [quote:0be555e661="Crackity_jones"][quote:0be555e661="gtm"][quote:0be555e661="die the flu"]I liked the way at the start of the bit about prisons Nolan shouted something like "Why should them there prisoners get Human Rights!?!"

    Er, cuz they're like "human"?

    All in all another depressing debacle indicating how the majority of folk in Northern Ireland appear to be backwards thinking inbreds.[/quote:0be555e661]

    But surely there is something slightly unsettling about watching a self-confessed murderer sitting in a common room in his civvies playing Pro Evolution Soccer?[/quote:0be555e661]

    More unsettling was the approval the American prison governor got from the audience. I love Nolan Live but it scares the bejesus out of me. You forget how seriously conservative NI is.[/quote:0be555e661]

    I'm no conservative, but I'd rather my society's convicted and unapologetic murderers were breaking rocks than playing Pro Evo.
  292. avatar fastfude
    quote of a quote of a quote of a quote of a quote of a quote of a quote, etc.

    NI has always had a shortage of broken rocks in the past - in this globalised market, we must ensure a place on the leaderboard of broken rock manufacturing countries!
  293. avatar gtm
    Roger, I meant the phrase "breaking rocks" more as a metaphor for punishment. But I'm sure there's some backgardens that could do with some more "crazy-paving" :-)
  294. avatar fastfude
    That's the kind of wooly liberal thinking that's cost us our place as a leader in the broken rock market!
  295. avatar remedy malahide
    [quote:4ec3126310="fastfude"]It would be interesting to see if someone could manipulate a setting like Nolan in the spirit of Brasseye. Go on to the show with some made up reactionary argument and see how far you can swing it to the extremities. Have the audience braying for blood then reveal the charade at the last minute and make 'em see just how easily led they are.[/quote:4ec3126310]

    :)
    That would be interesting, but it'd be lost on the majority of people that tune in for the TV or radio show! It'd certainly make for cult internet viewing!
  296. avatar rentaghost
    [quote:3094fc8aed="fastfude"]That's the kind of wooly liberal thinking that's cost us our place as a leader in the broken rock market![/quote:3094fc8aed]

    no no no, young fastfude.
    we [i:3094fc8aed]are[/i:3094fc8aed] in fact, world leaders in the broken rock market.
    We export £11million of non-metallic mineral products every year.

    Its no coincedence that of the most successful norn iron businesses like, [i:3094fc8aed]ever[/i:3094fc8aed], is Powerscreen
    http://www.powerscreen.co.uk/
  297. avatar die the flu
    [quote:435fe7a648]I'm no conservative, but I'd rather my society's convicted and unapologetic murderers were breaking rocks than playing Pro Evo.[/quote:435fe7a648]

    Sorta, like, a Gulag?...
  298. avatar gtm
    Yes.
  299. avatar Gogs
    they should be forced to play FIFA instead.
  300. avatar Niall Harden
    a fate worse than death!

    i heard nolan in a shop today. some fella was saying that the gays should be rounded up and shipped off to wherever all the immigrants came from. i'm pretty sure he'd been reading fastfude.
  301. avatar I'mDead
    So where then will they ship the immigrants off to, and more importantly, what wil lhappen to gay and lesbian immigrants? :shock:
  302. avatar The Grace Jones
    I'm descended from immigrants. Of Pangean ancestry, originally. I should probably get my stuff packed. Not really worth staying if there's no one else around anyway.
  303. avatar T Entertainment
    "I'm no conservative, but I'd rather my society's convicted and unapologetic murderers were breaking rocks than playing Pro Evo."

    Quite.
  304. avatar The Grace Jones
    Well there's your problem see. If bloody immigrants weren't taking all the bloody jobs at the industrial base of the country in Dungannon, then our poor murderers would have rocks to break and wouldn't have to play Pro Evo all day.
  305. avatar rentaghost
    I got a form in today from our first Polish job applicant. He claims to have a degree in Aikido. Can you get degrees in Aikido?
  306. avatar ryanego
    [quote:672f89774e]I got a form in today from our first Polish job applicant. He claims to have a degree in Aikido. Can you get degrees in Aikido? [/quote:672f89774e]

    Racist!
  307. avatar I'mDead
    Yes, a degree in Aikido is highly effective when used to bore your attacker to death in the street. Perhaps he has a degree in 'Steven Segal Studies'?
  308. avatar The Grace Jones
    In Belgium you can get a degree in Beerology.

    That's maybe not exactly relevant, but it's f*cking class all the same.
  309. avatar remedy malahide
    In the days of secondary school (BHS) the intricate RM Nimbus job calculation system told me that I'd make a great 'basket maker'. I still to this day have not dabbled in the old basket creation, but I do use them from time to time. The moral of this story is give this Polish guy the job, at least he didn't say he's a qualified basket maker!
  310. avatar rentaghost
    [quote:b85843a45a="ryanego"][quote:b85843a45a]I got a form in today from our first Polish job applicant. He claims to have a degree in Aikido. Can you get degrees in Aikido? [/quote:b85843a45a]

    Racist![/quote:b85843a45a]

    If he does well in the interview I'll get him to come round to yours for an aikido practical, sure.
  311. avatar Crackity_jones
    [quote:09aeda1c37="remedy malahide"]In the days of secondary school (BHS) the intricate RM Nimbus job calculation system told me that I'd make a great 'basket maker'. I still to this day have not dabbled in the old basket creation, but I do use them from time to time. The moral of this story is give this Polish guy the job, at least he didn't say he's a qualified basket maker![/quote:09aeda1c37]

    Was that Jiig-Cal? I got "diplomat", go me.
  312. avatar ryanego
    [quote:a11e1b16cd]If he does well in the interview I'll get him to come round to yours for an aikido practical, sure. [/quote:a11e1b16cd]

    Class! I always wanted to learn how to make those wee paper swans! :lol:
  313. avatar xfirefishx
    Is aikido not a martial art? Are you thinking of origami maybe?
  314. avatar ryanego
    Yeh it is, I was just making a piss joke, didn't really come off though! :D
  315. avatar That Man Fanjo
    I got it.

    Thought it was a cracker. Woulda been pleased to have come up with it meself.





    Awful, aint it?
  316. avatar kingmob
    Nolan in 'agenda setting' shocker!

    [quote:64fb77f562="Andytown"]
    Principal’s plea to pyjama parents

    By Ciarán Barnes

    The principal of a Short Strand school has told mothers who wear pyjamas while leaving their kids to school that they are being “disrespectful” and setting a “bad example”.
    In a bulletin issued to parents, St Matthew’s principal Joe McGuinness wrote: “Over recent months the number of adults leaving children to school and collecting children from school dressed in pyjamas has risen considerably. While it is not my position to insist on what people wear, or don’t, I feel that arriving at the school in pyjamas is disrespectful to the school and a bad example to set to children.”
    Speaking to the Andersonstown News yesterday, Mr McGuinness said up to 50 pyjama-wearing mums leave their kids to school each morning.
    “There used to be about 15 to 20 pyjama-wearing parents, but there is anything up to 50 now, and they are all women,” he said. People don’t go to see a solicitor, bank manager or doctor dressed in pyjamas, so why do they think it’s okay to drop their children off at school dressed like that?
    “It’s about respect and setting children a bad example.
    “There is an old word called slovenliness, which means messy and lazy. I think this can be applied to people who spend the day dressed in pyjamas.”
    Mr McGuinness said the school had not received any complaints from pyjama-wearing parents. He said European laws exist which prevent principals from banning pyjamas from schools.[/quote:64fb77f562]

    [quote:64fb77f562="And the editorial for the craic"]One of the defining aspects of an open society is that people should be free to do and say as they please, within the guidelines of the law and without impingeing on the rights and freedoms of others. In a society where gross inequalities in wealth, healthcare, education, housing and more are daily facts of life confronted by so many, the idea of a head teacher – or indeed a newspaper editorial writer – having to address the problem of grown women wearing pyjamas all day might appear at first glance to be preposterous – laughable even.
    But we believe that Joe McGuinness, principal of St Matthew’s Primary School in the Short Strand, was dealing with a live and important issue when he wrote in the school bulletin that he believes that mothers who arrive at the school in pyjamas to pick up and drop off their children are being disrespectful to the school and setting a bad example to the children. Quite frankly, we believe that Mr McGuinness is absolutely right and we wish other teachers would follow his lead.
    Those people all over the city – and they are almost exclusively women – who wear pyjamas as they go about their daily business will argue that it is their right to do as they choose and that they are breaking no law. That is beyond dispute, but adults have responsibilities to the community, to the society, which includes and sustains them, and the I’ll-do-as-I-please argument is a thoughtless abrogation of one of the very limited responsibilities that society imposes.
    Just as it is beyond argument that women are perfectly entitled to wear pyjamas to school, so it is an indisputable fact that the vast majority of people find the practice at best distasteful and at worst appalling. Teachers, children and most parents take time and care in the morning to turn themselves out carefully and tidily for the day – in effect they are publicly assenting to and acknowledging the ethos of order and mutual respect without which no school can be properly run.
    Perhaps those who wear pyjamas to school do not care what the rest of us think. If so, then they should seriously ask themselves what message they are handing to their children. Children learn lessons about dignity and discipline from life, not from books or films. The lesson that pyjama parents are giving to their children is that there is nothing in life as important as an individual’s untrammelled right to do whatever he/she pleases. Nowhere is that message more untrue – or more inappropriate – than in a school setting.
    [/quote:64fb77f562]
  317. avatar dodgi stereo
    [quote:536a9c306b]The lesson that pyjama parents are giving to their children is that there is nothing in life as important as an individual’s untrammelled right to do whatever he/she pleases. Nowhere is that message more untrue – or more inappropriate – than in a school setting. [/quote:536a9c306b]

    I'd like to see what would happen if that point were to be made at a PTA meeting.

    [quote:536a9c306b]the ethos of order and mutual respect without which no school can be properly run.[/quote:536a9c306b]

    Probably hasn't worked in a school recently then...
  318. avatar Crackity_jones
    Fair play to the principal and the paper. Not that it's likely to make much difference.
  319. avatar tinpot anto
    And to be fair to Atown News this issue has been running in the letters and text pages for nearly 2 years, and it's not the first editorial to mention it.
  320. avatar JTM
    [quote:0790619352="xfirefishx"]Is aikido not a martial art? Are you thinking of origami maybe?[/quote:0790619352]

    It is, and yes, you can get degrees in martial arts. To see if this Polish fella got his from Japan, or the Online University of Magherabeg, swing a baseball bat at him and see what he does.

    Also, JIIG-CAL was awesome.

    Also, what's the fuss over pyjamas?
  321. avatar I'mDead
    Please tell me someone is listening now. David Healy got turned away from Cafe Vaudeville and the nation is crying out for blood. Whats more, they have 'showbiz reporter' Paul Martin on talking about it. Priceless!

    What a fa-cking liberty!
  322. avatar ShowYourBones
    Luckily I'm not listening to it, although I read the article on the BBC this morning and thought to myself is this news? Surely he just experienced what the vast majority of people experience week in week out in the Cathedral Quarter, tighten em!
  323. avatar Portadown News Editor
    I was just on that, wrestling with the idea of mentioning the time Paul got thrown out of some club by the bouncers screaming "Don't you know who I am?"
    But I couldn't remember the club so I bottled it.
  324. avatar I'mDead
    ShowYourBones wrote:
    "Surely he just experienced what the vast majority of people experience week in week out in the Cathedral Quarter.."

    Why, was he beaten to within an inch of his life for asking if he could go back in to get his jacket?

    Seriously though, they've been mentioning clubs in Belfast that dont let ugly people in. That leaves me kinda screwed.
  325. avatar ShowYourBones
    I was being serious, the arrogance of bouncers sometimes amuses me.
  326. avatar kingmob
    It's a shame Stephen Nolan staff have no way of reading Fastfude and therefore can pitch the idea of having a discussion about bouncers on his TV show.
  327. avatar fastfude
    Jim Rodgers wants more buskers in Belfast. :O
  328. avatar ShowYourBones
    [quote:6ff0d95264="kingmob"]It's a shame Stephen Nolan staff have no way of reading Fastfude and therefore can pitch the idea of having a discussion about bouncers on his TV show.[/quote:6ff0d95264]
    I'll post them printed screen dumps.
  329. avatar Numbnut Sounds
    [quote:bca70680df="kingmob"]It's a shame Stephen Nolan staff have no way of reading Fastfude and therefore can pitch the idea of having a discussion about bouncers on his TV show.[/quote:bca70680df]

    ya think? :lol: :wink:
  330. avatar rentaghost
    [quote:5c1fb9892d="JTM"][quote:5c1fb9892d="xfirefishx"]Is aikido not a martial art? Are you thinking of origami maybe?[/quote:5c1fb9892d]

    It is, and yes, you can get degrees in martial arts. To see if this Polish fella got his from Japan, or the Online University of Magherabeg, swing a baseball bat at him and see what he does.
    [/quote:5c1fb9892d]

    To the followers of this particular soap opera, alas the Polish bloke was a no show at interview. When we rang him to inform him of the interview date he shouted "no speak English" and slammed the phone down.

    Oh well.
  331. avatar gtm
    [quote:c949846fa7="I'mDead"]Please tell me someone is listening now. David Healy got turned away from Cafe Vaudeville and the nation is crying out for blood. Whats more, they have 'showbiz reporter' Paul Martin on talking about it. Priceless!

    What a fa-cking liberty![/quote:c949846fa7]

    David Healy should have been shown to the front of the queue, and despite his probably vast monetary fortunes should never have to put his hand in his pocket in a Belfast bar ever again.

    [quote:c949846fa7]ShowYourBones wrote:
    "Surely he just experienced what the vast majority of people experience week in week out in the Cathedral Quarter.."

    Why, was he beaten to within an inch of his life for asking if he could go back in to get his jacket?

    Seriously though, they've been mentioning clubs in Belfast that dont let ugly people in. That leaves me kinda screwed.[/quote:c949846fa7]

    Sure we're all potato-men anyway.
  332. avatar Ratoot
    [quote:2552549779]never have to put his hand in his pocket in a Belfast bar ever again.
    [/quote:2552549779]

    That really depends what bar he's in!

    :lol:

    I don't think the hairey locals at the Laural Glen would be too welcoming!!

    :lol:
    Last edited on , 1 times in total.
  333. avatar Portadown News Editor
    [img:0019a25e63]http://www.reffalt.com/townies/trollpic.jpg[/img:0019a25e63]
  334. avatar rudedoodle
    This is back on tv in the autumn.
    Brilliant.
  335. avatar T Entertainment
    He's paying you, right>?
  336. avatar Eamonn Evangelists
    It is rumoured her son's middle name is Stephen. [img:177a8f8856]http://fastfude.org/forums/images/smiles/002.gif[/img:177a8f8856]
  337. avatar The Ronster
    I had great fun arguing with Iris Robinson this morning on the Nolan show.

    I heartily recommend it. Fish, barrel - shots were fired.
  338. avatar Chi-Lite
    I take it you lost the argument then?

    What was it aboot?
  339. avatar The Ronster
    It was about censorship in the media. Sure you can listen to show later on and decide how I did, but Iris fairly took a beating from most of the callers. Especially when she started ranting about 'coloureds' and gays.

    It was, hopefully, a career defining moment for her!
  340. avatar rentaghost
    bah. missed that bit. Must've been after I had to start work.
  341. avatar clss_act_00
    It always amazes me that these idiots get into power. Especially ones who don't seem to have half decent social skills or know what is "politically correct". Like the education minister as well. Tools. People are stupid, we pick a party and vote for the person they put up in our constituency, no matter which idiot they've chosen. It's all very depressing
  342. avatar Chi-Lite
    Jesus, I'm sick hearing that oul ballix.

    People aren't really all that stupid, it's arrogant, childish and downright [i:1b705157be]stupid[/i:1b705157be] to assume that they are.
  343. avatar JTM
    Not sure if this is the right thread, but did anyone else hear Hugo Duncan saying "cunt" on air on Tuesday afternoon?
  344. avatar gtm
    I think Iris Robinson finally had that nervous breakdown this morning.
  345. avatar The Ronster
    I like to think I contributed in some small way.
  346. avatar rudedoodle
    awwh Ron, I missed you being on it, I was away from the radio at the time. I heard the end of her shouting & raving about The Gays though.
  347. avatar The Ronster
    [url=http://downloads.bbc.co.uk/podcasts/northernireland/nolan/nolan_20080529-1219.mp3]Direct link to download the podcast here.[/url]
  348. avatar Flatyre
    It kills me to say it but that was great radio. Pity it descended into religious battle, but IR showed absolutely no tact or reason or ability to recognise what was going on. Which is probably why shes a politician.
  349. avatar Andrew
    It's funny how the last people who should ever be given control of anything other than their own bowel movements wind up in control of whole countries.

    I ♥ NI
  350. avatar fopp
    Which one is ron? The fella that gets to stay on long enough to talk to the mediawatch rep and Iris? Were you meant to be on so long, or did they just like the cut of your jib?


    Someone said that Iris got a fair beating from the callers, but I can't help but notice that there were quite a few in her favour, which speaks volumes about the state of this place...



    The fella toward the end who was describig how the DUP are always "disparaging" about homosexuals chose an unfortunate turn of phrase in "DUP alwasys getting down on the gays". :wink:


    Classy.
  351. avatar The Ronster
    [quote:1125187250="fopp"]Which one is ron? The fella that gets to stay on long enough to talk to the mediawatch rep and Iris? Were you meant to be on so long, or did they just like the cut of your jib?[/quote:1125187250]

    That was me. I find not raving like a lunatic and coming out with unsubstantiated invective to be a good start.

    Iris - hates being interrupted, not so bothered about interrupting others though...
  352. avatar Portadown News Editor
    I was alerted to this yesterday by a flabbergasted colleague. It was an almost unbelievably moronic and hostile performance from Robinson, she sounded like a lunatic and she also dropped her husband right in it over his (legally binding) equality commitments as first minister.
    Now watch the political class silently close ranks around her to spare hubby's blushes ahead of next week's coronation. The only side left around here is the side of the bread that gets buttered.
  353. avatar drakeguild
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  354. avatar DontPetABurningDog
    Have to say, Ronster, fair bloody play to ye, not just for the show, but for following up on the MB's.

    I've been fighting the good fight on there for years, but it's a near impossibility.
  355. avatar nev
    It is quite irritating that this woman probably reflects the beliefs of our new first minister.
  356. avatar Mutts Nutts
    You seem surprised.

    That surprises me!

    [quote:3908b67f92]and she also dropped her husband right in it over his (legally binding) equality commitments as first minister.[/quote:3908b67f92]

    is he in the clear if he hates everyone equally? :wink:
  357. avatar nev
    [quote:89f3600ab3="Mutts Nutts"]You seem surprised.

    That surprises me!
    [/quote:89f3600ab3]

    :lol:

    I didn't know much about the Robinsons or their relgious beliefs, but I guess that I should have looked at their colleagues and guessed the obvious.
  358. avatar drakeguild
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  359. avatar Portadown News Editor
    [quote:f08e82255e="Mutts Nutts"]is he in the clear if he hates everyone equally? :wink:[/quote:f08e82255e]

    Now you mention it, that does sound like a potential loophole.
  360. avatar The enfant terrible
    Good on you ron, I've never met you but I'm guessing that you're the one who really sticks it to all the tools. You're my hero and my next MP.

    Typical of a DUP to want to oppress minorities.

    Most people are christians therefore...

    Load of balls. More people i know get offended by bible thumpers with their loud speakers than they do with gay couples.

    DId you hear her shout "my name is iris," if only she'd said, "and I am funky" after it.
  361. avatar Steven Dedalus
    [quote:c3ca65f31b="The enfant terrible"]

    DId you hear her shout "my name is iris," if only she'd said, "and I am funky" after it.[/quote:c3ca65f31b]

    I will never look at anyone, ever, the same way again.
  362. avatar The Ronster
    [quote:f8876d4f13="The enfant terrible"]Good on you ron, I've never met you but I'm guessing that you're the one who really sticks it to all the tools. You're my hero and my next MP.[/quote:f8876d4f13]

    I'll be announcing my candidacy nearer to the next General Election. It'll be my intention to be the world's first internet only MP - I'll only meet people online, or if they are lucky on the phone.

    All public engagements will be via webcam, and I'll have a forum where people can complain about me.
  363. avatar my-angel-rocks
    Well done ron, seems like you were the only sensible one on the show.
  364. avatar Mutts Nutts
    [quote:147a2a1a47]It'll be my intention to be the world's first internet only MP -[/quote:147a2a1a47]

    Rainbow Ronster?
  365. avatar Gogs
    Is it too late to listen to this? The link doesn't work any more. Can anyone mail it to me?
  366. avatar Niall Harden
    i've got it on mp3, it's about 20MB. you can have it all, if you like, and so on.
  367. avatar T Entertainment
    Oops, sorry, ignore. :)
  368. avatar drakeguild
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  369. avatar Aideen
    [url]http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/northern_ireland/7439661.stm[/url]

    Iris Robinson says gay people should seek counselling, discuss.
  370. avatar Niall Harden
    [url=http://fastfude.org/topic.php?id=27030]okay![/url]
  371. avatar rudedoodle
    Iris is at it again, this time on abortion....
  372. avatar The Ronster
    Hark, the sound of me scurrying to the Listen Live button!
  373. avatar fastfude
    Is it National Facepalm Hour already?
  374. avatar The Ronster
    Well, only if you are ever surprised by anything Iris Robinson says.

    There's a doll called Mary on at the minute dropping some science (not literally science) on Iris, but the First Lady bailed before she could hear or respond to it.

    What a hideous bastard. I wish the air of publicity would choke her.

    She actually said this time that it's the State's job to defend God's Law. Amazing!
  375. avatar The Ronster
    Mustn't...phone...in....aaargh!
  376. avatar RockShandy
    I don't exist.

    I wanna phone in, but I best not. I get wound up too easily by this kind of nonsense.
  377. avatar The Ronster
    Yeah, I've been poised over the Call button on my mobile for the last ten minute, well aware that I'm far too angry to be rational.
  378. avatar RockShandy
    Do it. DOOO ITTT.
  379. avatar The Ronster
    I cracked and called in, but I only got 20 secs near the end.

    Still. Up hers.
  380. avatar RockShandy
    Ah HA. So that was you who got bumped for other minister doll? Bad crack.
  381. avatar Chi-Lite
    Wise up lads
  382. avatar The Ronster
    Don't you start - you know as well as anyone else that if Iris Robinson had her way there would be no catholics (not a bad thing per se!), rock or soul music or booze, so wise up yourself.

    [url=http://www.bbc.co.uk/northernireland/nolan/phonecallarchive/]Here's a link so you can all hear her vile chatter again.[/url]

    And yes, that was me bumped at the end. But it was nice to hear another politician point out what a wanker Iris is, unlike the pope-loving eejit from the SDLP who called in to lick her arse.
  383. avatar Chi-Lite
    Wise up though.

    If this really is just another opportunity to see what a w[b:bbe1c80f68][/b:bbe1c80f68]anker Iris is, leave it for a less serious subject, eh?

    Of course she's a w[b:bbe1c80f68][/b:bbe1c80f68]anker...so what? Does that mean we have to disparage everything but liberal relativist ballix, does it?
  384. avatar George W Best
    [quote:33a75116ba="Chi-Lite"]Does that mean we have to disparage everything but liberal relativist ballix, does it?[/quote:33a75116ba]

    Gets my vote.
  385. avatar The Ronster
    I have no idea what you are going on about Marty. As usual.

    Why should having a go at Iris over 'serious' subjects bother you? Is the notion of separating church and state a sacred cow? Surely wasting time debating a trivial issue would be more annoying?

    Wise up.
  386. avatar Chi-Lite
    It just seems you are all really quick to jump on top of any issue that is seen to be liberal, and trendy, and yet when anybody attempts to make valid points disagreeing with your stance, they're immediately branded as brain-washed idiots.

    And if it happens to be Iris Robinson I'm forced into a position of agreeing with, all the better.

    Separating church and state is all well and good, except that aborion isn't a "church" issue. It's a highly emotive, highly moral issue that is bound to have very deep effects on any society. Of course politicians should be legislating for it, and if some of them legislate for it from a position of religious humanism, well f[b:2223de5579][/b:2223de5579]ucking good.

    I personally would like to see the Shinners be far more vocal about it, instead of leaving it all to the stoops, and d[b:2223de5579][/b:2223de5579]icks like iris. But then they're more afraid of losing some of their trendy left-wing voters.
  387. avatar tinpot anto
    Can I also come out here and say that I find the drivel spouted by both sides in any abortion argument offensive and slightly sickening. Agenda driven bullsh1t is all you hear from either side

    I find as an object for the discussion of liberalism vs. control that it is perhaps the most inappropriate topic to involve oneself in.

    Iris Robinson is a prick, and everything she said on this issue disgusts me, since it is largely God-bothering emotional blackmail and point-scoring at the expense of people in a delicate emotional state. Likewise most of what I've ever heard coming from the other side is self-serving, reductivist uber-rational claptrap, that makes me no longer want to go on living.

    Abortion is not a political issue, those who would make it so are all complete c[u:e317bd03e8]u[/u:e317bd03e8]nts. It also has no place on a message board.
  388. avatar Steven Dedalus
    [quote:dcf9b03e85="Chi-Lite"]
    Of course she's a w[b:dcf9b03e85][/b:dcf9b03e85]anker...so what? Does that mean we have to disparage everything but liberal relativist ballix, does it?[/quote:dcf9b03e85]

    Fair point, nuts people should be able to come on the air and pontificate until their heart's are content.

    Oh wait, is she not a politician, and an elected representative?

    Are you telling me that the people of Northern Ireland [i:dcf9b03e85]put her in government[/i:dcf9b03e85]?

    Er...that does sort of make it a serious issue and not just something people should 'wise up' about.
  389. avatar Chi-Lite
    [quote:027de41141="tinpot anto"]Can I also come out here and say that I find the drivel spouted by both sides in any abortion argument offensive and slightly sickening. Agenda driven bullsh1t is all you hear from either side

    I find as an object for the discussion of liberalism vs. control that it is perhaps the most inappropriate topic to involve oneself in.

    Iris Robinson is a prick, and everything she said on this issue disgusts me, since it is largely God-bothering emotional blackmail and point-scoring at the expense of people in a delicate emotional state. Likewise most of what I've ever heard coming from the other side is self-serving, reductivist uber-rational claptrap, that makes me no longer want to go on living.

    Abortion is not a political issue, those who would make it so are all complete c[u:027de41141]u[/u:027de41141]nts. It also has no place on a message board.[/quote:027de41141]

    I agree.

    Except to say that it is a political issue in that politicians have to legislate for it, or against it. So Iris have every right to make political decisions based on her religious belief.

    Not that it neccessarily has anything to do with religion anyway.

    It sickens me, the glee with which some people take this up.

    Because somebody says anything about religion, or makes any argument based on religion, it has to be used to assert liberal credentials.

    Wise up
  390. avatar DontPetABurningDog
    Here, Marty, no harm, but if she was basing her arguments on anything else, I'd still find them every bit as unacceptable.

    She's straight on the persecution complex as well, about how hard she's getting it.

    I've got nothing against religion, I just don't see why it deserves elevation above any other kind of opinion, because that is all it is.
  391. avatar George W Best
    [quote:12410cd3e9="tinpot anto"] It also has no place on a message board.[/quote:12410cd3e9]

    [quote:12410cd3e9="Chi-Lite"] It sickens me, the glee with which some people take this up.

    Because somebody says anything about religion, or makes any argument based on religion, it has to be used to assert liberal credentials.

    Wise up [/quote:12410cd3e9]

    Cheers for that lads! Just for future reference you wouldn't mind providing us with a list of topics we are allowed to discuss, where we can discuss it and the contexts we can talk about them in? Would hate to think anyone here might offend your highly developed sense of morality.
  392. avatar Chi-Lite
    [quote:a2aa781f62="DontPetABurningDog"]Here, Marty, no harm, but if she was basing her arguments on anything else, I'd still find them every bit as unacceptable.[/quote:a2aa781f62]

    What? Why? There's something unacceptable about disagreeing with the wholesale killing of unborn babies? Is it because it's not trendy enough, or because the SWP disagree? What does Ben Elton have to say about it?

    [quote:a2aa781f62="DontPetABurningDog"]She's straight on the persecution complex as well, about how hard she's getting it.[/quote:a2aa781f62]

    Aye, she's a dick

    [quote:a2aa781f62="DontPetABurningDog"]I've got nothing against religion, I just don't see why it deserves elevation above any other kind of opinion, because that is all it is.[/quote:a2aa781f62]

    It isn't, except by those people who hold it. I don't understand how religious opinion is elevated over any other opinion. Religious people hold it to be the most important view towards life, and non-religious people don't.

    If we're in a position where religiously minded people are in power, democracy sure.
  393. avatar DontPetABurningDog
    There's nothing unacceptable about disagreeing with it. That isn't what I'm saying. I find her arguments unacceptable, because she's utterly refusing anything beyond what she's worked out to be the universal truth, viz. That everyone else is wrong, and the Government is there to impose theocracy. As far as that goes, she can away and get fucked. She's more than entitled to live her life however she wants. She's allowed to be a strident, malignant ould bitch. I do not have to agree with her, though, and I refuse to accept that "that's her religion" is a valid or all encompassing reason to make her opinion unassailable. Religion is only an opinion. Backing an argument with religion is no stronger a position than using any other opinion.
  394. avatar Chi-Lite
    I don't get it, what's the problem?

    You don't agree with her, and you don't have to, but lots of people do, on this issue. i don't see why you find her arguments "unacceptable". Of course she thinks she's right and everybody else is wrong...so do you! That's what having an opinion is about.

    By the looks of things, abortion will still remain illegal, probably for the very reasons that Iris is going on about...(I can't bring myself to listen to her to find out).

    but there ya go. Yous can disagree all ye want. democracy sure.


    And anyway, what has it got to do with Religion. It's about valuing human life. Religion people are going to talk about religion as their measure of the value of life, but most atheists and agnostics think life has a value too.

    Disparaging her argument because it invokes religion is just taking a free dig. The bible doesn't mention anything about when a human becomes a human, and when you should afford a foetus all the value of a human life...that's the real argument. the fact that some people invoke religion when talking about why they value life is neither here nor there. You can feel free to substitute religion for......well, whatever you have which makes you think life is valuable
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  395. avatar DontPetABurningDog
    [quote:1288288928]I don't get it, what's the problem? [/quote:1288288928]

    In short? Your assertion that folk are simply leaping upon a religiously based argument for the sake of bolstering liberal credentials, and that it's somehow not on to attack an argument based in religion. It's pretty poor form to fill in people's motivations to suit your own agenda.
  396. avatar DontPetABurningDog
    [quote:f981e66a5c="Chi-Lite"]
    Disparaging her argument because it invokes religion is just taking a free dig. The bible doesn't mention anything about when a human becomes a human, and when you should afford a foetus all the value of a human life...that's the real argument. the fact that some people invoke religion when talking about why they value life is neither here nor there. You can feel free to substitute religion for......well, whatever you have which makes you think life is valuable[/quote:f981e66a5c]

    And if I was disparaging it on those lines, you'd have a point. I'm not, though, so you don't. I'm disparaging her certainty that her opinion represents the whole truth, the half assed quotation of anecdote and happenstance, the strident "I'm being persecuted and denied my free speech", when clearly neither are happening, and the very notion that there's a single right or wrong answer to "The Abortion Issue", if we're getting to it, because clearly, there isn't. This could be the very definition of "shades of grey".

    I have my opinions as to what constitutes full human life pre birth (and post, but that's another matter), but I wouldn't seek to have them imposed on everyone, nor do I consider them to be the only possible, valid view. Abortion is a desperately difficult, complex issue, and simplistic nonsense like Robinson's helps no-one.

    That she's completely unwilling to listen to any dissenting opinion, and resorts to shouting them down and appealing to emotion tells it's own tale.
  397. avatar tinpot anto
    I, for one, admit to being surprised at the amount of sense in the above post.
  398. avatar Chi-Lite
    Ah right.

    Fair enough. I was talking more about the attempt to bring religion into it, as if this has anything to do with Church and State, or religious arguments.

    I don't think you were talking about any of that though, so fair enough. :-D


    Still though, getting on at Iris for using religious language is too easy like.
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  399. avatar yodaISgreen
    I thought you were talking about the Nolan show piece in which Iris Robinson brought religion into the debate about abortion?
  400. avatar DontPetABurningDog
    Well, in fairness, Church and State comes into it, when Robinson is describing it as Government's duty to uphold God's law (which God, which laws, and to what extent is unclear at the time of writing), but as you rightly say, that's a separate debate.

    FWIW, it is an elected Government's duty to represent the views and opinions of all their constituents in as fair and even handed a manner as possible, to ensure no one grouping either dominates, or is dominated. I think we could all agree on that one. (Prepares to be proven wrong)
  401. avatar DontPetABurningDog
    With all due respect, Yoda, what did you expect? That's the price of admission with Iris. She's just the demagogue du jour, with a dance-card that solely comprises the foot-in-mouth jive. That she's either too thick, or too "persecuted by the liberalseculargayfenian conspiracy" to keep her mouth when she knows how it usually pans out is what I can't understand, unless of course she's into having self-fulfilling paranoia.


    <edit because I can't spell>
  402. avatar Chi-Lite
    [quote:bf6d2c7b5e="DontPetABurningDog"]

    FWIW, it is an elected Government's duty to represent the views and opinions of all their constituents in as fair and even handed a manner as possible, to ensure no one grouping either dominates, or is dominated. I think we could all agree on that one. (Prepares to be proven wrong)[/quote:bf6d2c7b5e]

    aye, but you can't please everybody like.

    Democracy sure

    Here, what did she say anyway? Somebody get up a few choice quotes, I can't listen to the thing here.

    I want to see what this "reactionary, ill-conceived, pseudo-religious sh1t" and "God-sanctioned, knee-jerk bigotry" is.
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  403. avatar tinpot anto
    Talking reactionary, ill-conceived, pseudo-religious sh1t like this is popular with the sort of electorate who appreciate a oul bit of God-sanctioned, knee-jerk bigotry - it is hard to see how our open-minded population could repeatedly vote her into power.

    oh



    wait/



    Marty I know you have arguments about gayness and pro-life issues, for the most part they are well thought out and coherent (and wrong). Oul Iris's though are ill-concieved, bigotry and balls through and through. Have a listen sure.
  404. avatar The enfant terrible
    [quote:d1fcb8f6e9="tinpot anto"]it is hard to see how our open-minded population could repeatedly vote her into power.

    oh



    wait/[/quote:d1fcb8f6e9]

    I think more politicians should be as open as Iris. Because when I go to vote and become involved in that tiny little bit of the so-called Democratic process afforded to me I can know who thinks what.

    I don't like liberals with their PC uninformed opinions on everything which amount to something Eddie Vedder once said or some T-shirt their mate had but I agree even less with politicians who base their policies on their religious beliefs. However, they were voted in by people who knew they'd do this. Voter apathy is at such a level that if people who didn't vote actually did there would be a significant change in the outcome of elections. Calling for something like a prime ministers reprimand. Big deal, what will that do? She'll still vote with her religious views every time it comes to passing legislation. Moral of the story: if you don't want your lives rules by religious nuts then vote them out. It's all our elected oligarchy offers you.
  405. avatar yodaISgreen
    Rather a liberal pc wishy washy representative than a strongheaded charismatic bigot.
  406. avatar feline1
    [quote:c746c75324="T Entertainment"]Tonight: Spide children! Fat people! And traffic wardens![/quote:c746c75324]

    Yes but enough about who lives in your house - what about the Nolan show?? etc etc
  407. avatar The enfant terrible
    [quote:13b19a2742="yodaISgreen"]Rather a liberal pc wishy washy representative than a strongheaded charismatic bigot.[/quote:13b19a2742]

    Dunno mate, it's kind of six of one in terms of the damage both can do.
  408. avatar fastfude
    Is it though?
  409. avatar The enfant terrible
    [quote:7f2ab7d2b4="fastfude"]Is it though?[/quote:7f2ab7d2b4]

    I think so, wishy washy PC liberals tend to follow fashionable thought which is all about being accepting of everything but it's as blind as religious faith. (I'm not lumping all liberals in here, just the same as I wouldn't equate all religious people with Iris).
  410. avatar George W Best
    [quote:aeb68df9b1="The enfant terrible"]
    I think more politicians should be as open as Iris. Because when I go to vote and become involved in that tiny little bit of the so-called Democratic process afforded to me I can know who thinks what.

    &

    She'll still vote with her religious views every time it comes to passing legislation. [/quote:aeb68df9b1]

    But do they though? These parties proudly boast of their so-called 'religious' beliefs when on shows like Nolan but how many of them are prepared to campaign on strictly religious issues?

    Take the DUP and UUP, both proudly claim to be full of devout protestants but do either of them have anything in their manifestos about stopping shops opening on a Sunday? Sunday opening goes right against one of the Holy Ten Commandments so why are they not constantly phoning up talkshows condemming it? Anything to do with their business men mates making a pretty penny out of Sunday opening perchance?

    Simple fact is the majority of public figures who promote themselves as religious only worship one God, the almighty dollar.

    So Iris is open about her 'religious' belief in the Bible being the infalible word of God, well isn't it funny how it's only the teachings in the Bible that affect minorities that seem to matter?
  411. avatar fastfude
    [quote:65f5eafa58="The enfant terrible"]wishy washy PC liberals tend to follow fashionable thought[/quote:65f5eafa58]
    do they though?
  412. avatar tinpot anto
    Politicians are an abomination onto God.
  413. avatar 10rapid
    [quote:31fce10a87]Just for future reference you wouldn't mind providing us with a list of topics we are allowed to discuss, where we can discuss it and the contexts we can talk about them in?[/quote:31fce10a87]

    Threads about pedantry are out for a start.
  414. avatar The enfant terrible
    [quote:7d36bf4227="George W Best"][quote:7d36bf4227="The enfant terrible"]
    I think more politicians should be as open as Iris. Because when I go to vote and become involved in that tiny little bit of the so-called Democratic process afforded to me I can know who thinks what.

    &

    She'll still vote with her religious views every time it comes to passing legislation. [/quote:7d36bf4227]

    Sunday opening goes right against one of the Holy Ten Commandments so why are they not constantly phoning up talkshows condemming it? [/quote:7d36bf4227]

    Firstly, the sabbath is Jewish and has very little to do with the way Christians act on Sunday. So Sunday opening does not go against anything in the ten commandments.

    And Paisley campaigned against sunday opening for years. It's only when the sign raises it's head that these people see the other side of the arguement.

    And yes I feel liberals do follow fashionable thought. When I was at Uni I used to get the New Internationalist and there were a number of causes in it that were worthy but people round college who considered themselves as liberal or socially concerned only stuck to a slim few that were fashionable like the war in afghanistan and why you shouldn't shop at GAP. Plus I used to go to socialist meetings and found that there were always a lot of people at them who just used it as a place to socialise, pull, spout off about how clever/cool/militant they were or intellectually bully people who were just coming along to find out what it was about.
  415. avatar fastfude
    So are you confusing socialists with liberals or are they both fashion followers? Are all liberals fashion followers or just some? Perhaps none are and you're just generalising? How about we all go and count them first, [i:e2d11f8fe2]then[/i:e2d11f8fe2] make wild and spurious claims on the Internet?
  416. avatar Flatyre
    [quote:d55a36ceb3="The enfant terrible"]
    Firstly, the sabbath is Jewish and has very little to do with the way Christians act on Sunday. So Sunday opening does not go against anything in the ten commandments.

    And Paisley campaigned against sunday opening for years. It's only when the sign raises it's head that these people see the other side of the arguement.[/quote:d55a36ceb3]

    So Sunday opening is not unchristian but Paisley campaigned against it? On what grounds?

    The sabbath is not strictly jewish; judaism happens to have shabbat along with other faiths.

    Seems like you just fancy an argument and you're making up stuff to support it.
  417. avatar rinky
    The campaign to confiscate Iris Robinson's ministerial stationary starts here:

    [url]http://www.boingboing.net/2008/07/17/homophobic-politicia.html[/url]
  418. avatar confetti
    if you don't like her - don't vote dup - easy - use your vote
    that's why you have it.
  419. avatar The enfant terrible
    :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( 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    Last edited on , 2 times in total.
  420. avatar The enfant terrible
    [quote:6ad3d44d3d="Flatyre"]

    Seems like you just fancy an argument and you're making up stuff to support it.[/quote:6ad3d44d3d]

    that's a fair point mate. I really just can't get a buck anywhere.
  421. avatar George W Best
    Rock The Vote! That's what MTV says.
  422. avatar fopp
    [quote:3e4c3e2312="The enfant terrible"]Firstly, the sabbath is Jewish and has very little to do with the way Christians act on Sunday. So Sunday opening does not go against anything in the ten commandments.[/quote:3e4c3e2312]

    I'm not sure I understand how, unless you change how you define sabbath, work or the seventh day.

    [quote:3e4c3e2312="The enfant terrible"]Plus I used to go to socialist meetings and found that there were always a lot of people at them who just used it as a place to socialise, pull, spout off about how clever/cool/militant they were or intellectually bully people who were just coming along to find out what it was about.[/quote:3e4c3e2312]

    I was always curious about those meetings, suppose if I'd ever gone I'd have been one of those coming along to fing out what it was about!
  423. avatar Daithi jasper
    Christianity most definitely has a sabbath, its on a Sunday fact fans and the Free Ps (probably among others)really don't like you to do anything on it. They still hold random protests at things on Sundays and councils across the north are constantly having debates about the issue.
  424. avatar tenrabbits
    [quote:09447328e8="The enfant terrible"][quote:09447328e8="fastfude"]Is it though?[/quote:09447328e8]

    I think so, wishy washy PC liberals tend to follow fashionable thought[/quote:09447328e8]

    This argument about the sabbath is silly - it's meant to be on a saturday anyway scripture fans. I know this cos Alexa Chung said it once on telly.
  425. avatar rinky
    [quote:fa5bd38043="tenrabbits"][quote:fa5bd38043="The enfant terrible"][quote:fa5bd38043="fastfude"]Is it though?[/quote:fa5bd38043]

    I think so, wishy washy PC liberals tend to follow fashionable thought[/quote:fa5bd38043]

    This argument about the sabbath is silly - it's meant to be on a saturday anyway scripture fans. I know this cos Alexa Chung said it once on telly.[/quote:fa5bd38043]

    It's a well known fact that the sabbath was only invented by Tony Iommi's great great great grandfather so his descendant would have a deadly name for his band.
  426. avatar T Entertainment
    Much more on this issue this morning...

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/northernireland/nolan/phonecallarchive/
  427. avatar RockShandy
    Anyone got the link to listen to the mp3 version of it from yesterday? No .ram players at work, see.
  428. avatar The Ronster
    [url=http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio/podcasts/nolan/]Here's the Nolan show podcast page, with the last week's episodes available.[/url]
  429. avatar fastfude
    [url=http://downloads.bbc.co.uk/podcasts/northernireland/nolan/nolan_20080717-1227.mp3]Thursday's show[/url]

    [url=http://downloads.bbc.co.uk/podcasts/northernireland/nolan/nolan_20080718-1201.mp3]Friday's followup[/url]
  430. avatar RockShandy
    Legends, both. :)
  431. avatar fopp
    Yea thanks, I'm in kinda in the same boat, I've got real player in work but I can't listen to anything that comes from the bbc through it for some reason.

    Haven't listened to it yet, is Iris on the same time as Ron and does she realise that it's her old sparring partner?
  432. avatar The enfant terrible
    Right fuck that.

    Christianity doesn't have a sabbath. You can take a piece of another religion and change it and say it's the same thing when it isn't. (as no christians observe sabbath the way Jews do, not even the free P's with their no TV). Christianity may have something similar but to call it a sabbath is just lazy language. Just like people who say Fall Out Boy are emo but they really aren't.

    And as for the remark about people coming along to find out what socialist meetings were about, they weren't being criticised the people intellectually bullying them were.

    And no I don't confuse socialists and liberals, but it's not uncommon (in fact it's very common) for people who consider themselves liberals to take an interest in socialist matters and vice-versa unless we live in literal land where people define themselves to the nth degree and rigidly stick to it. And yes people do follow fashionable thought, not just liberals but people in general. It's just liberals doing it irritates me most. Hot faff enjoying the fashion for goth clothing is quite okay by me.
  433. avatar DontPetABurningDog
    Intellectual bullying?

    I haven't heard that one before. Is it a second cousin of "intellectual snobbery", by any chance?
  434. avatar Daithi jasper
    There are some Christian denominations that observe what they call the sabbath in a similar way to Judaism, on saturday and all that, but thats neither here nor there really. Loads of Christians call Sunday the sabbath so therefore it is the sabbath to them surely?
  435. avatar tinpot anto
    Loads of Christians that, you know

    "Remember to keep holy the sabbath day" and all that.
  436. avatar The enfant terrible
    [quote:3edb297a1c="Daithi jasper"]There are some Christian denominations that observe what they call the sabbath in a similar way to Judaism, on saturday and all that, but thats neither here nor there really. Loads of Christians call Sunday the sabbath so therefore it is the sabbath to them surely?[/quote:3edb297a1c]

    The ten commandments were given to the Jews not Christians. If Christians want to observe something similar and say it's the same thing good luck to them but I swing my dick at their beliefs like a wrecking ball at their house.
  437. avatar T Entertainment
    If you're having trouble with those .ram files, try cutting and pasting them into 'open location' on Realplayer itself.

    Annoying, I know. :?
  438. avatar fastfude
    [quote:6d1054c11c="The enfant terrible"]but it's not uncommon (in fact it's very common)[/quote:6d1054c11c]is it though?*


    *hint: I'm implying you're making this up as you've not put forward a single piece of data to support this. Saying it does not make it so. Prove it. Sorry I had to spell it out.
  439. avatar nonlogic liam
    Honestly...
  440. avatar The enfant terrible
    About two years ago I was at a socialist meeting in Bookfinders where they were taking about supporting muslim women's right to wear niquab's. Bunch of Socilists being concerned about liberal matters.

    Make poverty history wristbands is an example of fashionable trends and concerns. The big proctor and gamble hoax is an example of people being suckered into believing bollox and not checking to verify it before they spread it.
  441. avatar nonlogic liam
    Back to a hierarchical class system with you, at once.
  442. avatar George W Best
    [quote:3836b7fa13="The enfant terrible"]an example of people being suckered into believing bollox and not checking to verify it before they spread it.[/quote:3836b7fa13]

    Sadly my friend what you have said also accurately describes the content of 99.9999% of all conversations between all people on this here earth :(
  443. avatar Niall Harden
    God Bless Iris Robinson. She has really taking a stand for Biblical truth. The FACT of the matter is the Government IS there uphold God's law. Wheather people like it or not. The Bible says "the powers that be are ordained of God" and that is simply just the way things are. So i would say to any people who disagree with Iris Robinson's valid statement that you can either accept the fact of what she is saying or you can fight against it. Either way she is right.

    1 Peter 2: 17 "Honour all men. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honour the king."
  444. avatar nonlogic liam
    I think Iris Robinson's hot.
  445. avatar The enfant terrible
    She's no Michelle McIlveen
  446. avatar Flatyre
    [quote:cd7b3f8a05="The enfant terrible"][quote:cd7b3f8a05="Daithi jasper"]There are some Christian denominations that observe what they call the sabbath in a similar way to Judaism, on saturday and all that, but thats neither here nor there really. Loads of Christians call Sunday the sabbath so therefore it is the sabbath to them surely?[/quote:cd7b3f8a05]

    The ten commandments were given to the Jews not Christians. If Christians want to observe something similar and say it's the same thing good luck to them but I swing my dick at their beliefs like a wrecking ball at their house.[/quote:cd7b3f8a05]

    I guess your facts are irrefutable, especially when you consider that christianity and judaism are completely discrete religions with no common roots at all.
  447. avatar bluegrassmaverick
    "Biggest show in the country" - just because you're the largest presenter, Mr. Nolan...
  448. avatar The Ronster
    Ok, not the Nolan show per se, but the same topic.

    Iris now says gays are worse than child abusers.

    [url=http://www.belfasttelegraph.co.uk/news/local-national/iris-gays-more-vile-than-child-abusers-13913517.html]Story here folks.[/url]

    I'm at a loss now. Witch-hunt anyone?
  449. avatar Niall Harden
    http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/northern_ireland/7517500.stm

    [quote:053ad2196a]Hansard reported her as saying that "there can be no viler act, apart from homosexuality, than sexually abusing innocent children."

    Mrs Robinson said at no stage did she set out to suggest that homosexuality was worse than child abuse. [/quote:053ad2196a]

    Either Hansard is wrong or she's a silly bitch.

    Right, where's Chi-Lite to go [i:053ad2196a]ah, what did you expect, democracy sure[/i:053ad2196a]?
  450. avatar Chi-Lite
    Yeehaa, good job we've got the oul Hansard, wha? :-D

    Wow, i don't think anybody expected her to say [i:0a28eeeb6e]that[/i:0a28eeeb6e].
  451. avatar tinpot anto
    That really is one of the worst things I've ever heard an MP come out with.

    If you really want rid of her, just get Nolan to phone her up and ask her about the Jews.
    [quote:1d93d2f191]
    Mrs Robinson said at no stage did she set out to suggest that homosexuality was worse than child abuse. [/quote:1d93d2f191]

    No I like that, but that's EXACTLY what she said, without any ambiguity.
    Last edited on , 1 times in total.
  452. avatar JTM
    Was that Nolan git on Radio 5 this morning? Bastard.
  453. avatar RockShandy
    Doubt it, he's on his hols.
  454. avatar George W Best
    [quote:ab5e2b75c0]Hansard reported her as saying that "there can be no viler act, apart from homosexuality, than sexually abusing innocent children."
    [/quote:ab5e2b75c0]

    Does that mean she reckons it's okay to sexually abouse guilty children?
  455. avatar tinpot anto
    As long as they are of the opposite sex and no sodomy is involved I think it's entirely fine by her.
  456. avatar nonlogic liam
    OH. MY. GOD... Erase previous posts from brain. Unable to. Three years of therapy ahead.
  457. avatar JTM
    [quote:0eda0dff50="JTM"]Was that Nolan git on Radio 5 this morning? Bastard.[/quote:0eda0dff50]

    Well there was some NI-sounding gimp trying to stir up hate on the airwaves about DLA/DLA scroungers this morning. Bastards.

    EDIT: Nolan and his eejit listeners are the barstewards, god damn their unholy eyes, compared to even the most blatant DLA cheat.
    Last edited on , 1 times in total.
  458. avatar fopp
    Probably was him, I'm pretty sure he said during one of those shows last week that he had some work on Radio 5 before he was off on his 'olidays proper.

    Iris was probably just a bit concerned that things were a bit quiet here for a while so decided to give everyone something to talk about. Bet she's got her own login and everything.
  459. avatar 10rapid
    I really despair.
    a) that anyone could be so twisted and
    b) (given that she's in the DUP and her views therefore don't surprise me) that she does not know when to SHUT THE FUCK UP.

    And to be honest that's what bothers me more.

    She's either completely and arrogantly unhinged to the point of mania, or she knows she can get away with it because that's the view of the punters who voted her in.
    Either way, it's not good news.

    But all this talk of "the view of the majority" is the worst bit. Is it the case that the majority of people in NI actually agree with this harpy, or is she actually speaking for a very vocal minority who spend their time moralising about what people get up to in their own bedrooms, while casually overlooking the slaughter of innocents in darfur/iraq/zimbabwe and purchasing their sunday-go-to-meeting clothes from whatever sweatshop employing highstreet store is doing the best deal?
  460. avatar George W Best
    Yeah, it'd be interesting to find out how much support there would be for outlawing homosexuality in the North.

    I'd say that "the view of the majority" would be that someone being a homosexual doesn't matter a damn jot, no matter what Iris and her Christian values crew say.
  461. avatar artofdarkness
    And the majority of people in NI probably know someone who's gay, so even if they object to the idea of homosexuality, they'll have to reconcile that with the fact that their son or daughter is gay, or friend/relative/schoolmate or whatever. It's one thing to outlaw an abstract concept, and another to outlaw your friends and relatives.
  462. avatar Daithi jasper
    Yeah what is bizarre is that she is bringing it up in a debate on a completely unrelated topic now, like its the main thought on her mind at all times. Serious closet case.
  463. avatar Chi-Lite
    [quote:0836ab1962]Through the DUP's press office, Robinson later said: "I clearly intended to say that child abuse was worse than even homosexuality and sodomy ... At no point have I set out to suggest homosexuality was worse than child sex abuse[/quote:0836ab1962]

    See, I could believe that.

    It really is hard to believe that she said something that ridiculous on purpose, and I've heard worse slips of the tongue.
  464. avatar Daithi jasper
    It's certainly possible that's what what she meant, but it isn't at all clear that that is what she intended to say, nor does it explain why there was any need to mention homosexuality at all.
  465. avatar Chi-Lite
    Aye, you're right there.
  466. avatar T Entertainment
    More energetic debate on this today:

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/northernireland/nolan/phonecallarchive/
  467. avatar Niall Harden
    Special. I like the non-homophobe who has gay friends but thinks it shouldn't have been legalised and is comparable to dog-fighting.
  468. avatar feline1
    [quote:e791e1430f="George W Best"][quote:e791e1430f]Hansard reported her as saying that "there can be no viler act, apart from homosexuality, than sexually abusing innocent children."
    [/quote:e791e1430f]

    Does that mean she reckons it's okay to sexually abouse guilty children?[/quote:e791e1430f]

    I think she means it's OK to sexually abuse *guilty* children, for example bad ones who have been put away in Kincora Boys Home or Haut de la Garenne in Jersey.
    Or ones who are gay.
    Or who wear their hair or skirts in wicked ways.
  469. avatar feline1
    [quote:19bf5e751d]Through the DUP's press office, Robinson later said: "I clearly intended to say that child abuse was worse than even homosexuality and sodomy ... At no point have I set out to suggest homosexuality was worse than child sex abuse[/quote:19bf5e751d]

    Even THAT is f*cking offensive. Why conflate the two at all?
    I think Iris Robinson has "special blood"
  470. avatar Chi-Lite
    You're right there
  471. avatar The enfant terrible
    [quote="feline1"][quote:3a867313bb]
    I think Iris Robinson has "special blood"[/quote:3a867313bb]

    What? You mean she's black?
  472. avatar feline1
    [quote="The enfant terrible"][quote:e050b7a76c="feline1"][quote:e050b7a76c]
    I think Iris Robinson has "special blood"[/quote:e050b7a76c]

    What? You mean she's black?[/quote:e050b7a76c]


    No, that was just a wee in-joke for long term Fastfuders from 1999 (you know, back when it was actually good and hadn't sold out and become commercial etc etc ;)
    when some tw@t I can't even remember the name of now lauched a 20 page egregious thread condemning feline1 and other gays (including deriding their "special blood")
  473. avatar nonlogic liam
    I want to return to a simpler time. A life similar to that which is depicted in those "Volk" films from 1930s Germany? Is that so very wrong?
  474. avatar tenrabbits
    To be honest Liam.. all Iris needs to do is get some of her 'ideas' made into policies and we're there.
  475. avatar nonlogic liam
    But I want to live in a really historically inaccurate thatched hut, with cows, fowl and blondes as far as the eye can see. While overhead a slightly sinister German voice narrators. Can she promise me that? I very much doubt if she can.
  476. avatar The enfant terrible
    [quote:de06bb7d80="nonlogic liam"]But I want to live in a really historically inaccurate thatched hut, with cows, fowl and blondes as far as the eye can see. While overhead a slightly sinister German voice narrators. Can she promise me that? I very much doubt if she can.[/quote:de06bb7d80]

    I want that too Liam, but I want a boba fett style rocket pack so I can fly around and scoop fair maidens up in twos and fly them back to mine for some erdinger and frolicks. Yum Yum.
  477. avatar nonlogic liam
    I don't remember rocket packs in those films. I just assumed, along with basically everyone else, that prehistoric Germans were incapable of achieving jet assisted flight. Who knew...
  478. avatar tinpot anto
    I always wanted to live in those old footage reels of George Bernard Shaw getting sucked in a dinger by wee Leon and saying the Soviet Revolution was cracker.

    But now I'd be afraid of Liam's Aryan Cottage Fest (I mean all the connotations that presents to the open minded) invading me on the fly.
  479. avatar nonlogic liam
    Your just concerned in case the Aryan village votes, and agrees, to kick all your commie mates of the dole and into real life.
  480. avatar Mutts Nutts
    [quote:b9350245d9] all Iris needs to do is get some of her 'ideas' made into policies and we're there.

    [/quote:b9350245d9]

    oh to live in the 80s again. *sigh*

    Now, don't jump down my throat but does anyone think that this is the DUP's way of addressing their grass-roots support without all that "official party statement" malarkey?
    Is it not a coincidence that this all kicked off the day before the Masked Marauder took office?
    The kind of coincidence that is usually not a coincidence?

    Food for thought surely.
  481. avatar tinpot anto
    Liam I'm half convinced that in a few years you will discover a time machine to take you back to to Weimar Germany, and, well history will unfold precisely as we know it. :)
  482. avatar churchwarden
    [quote:aed1958050]Now, don't jump down my throat but does anyone think that this is the DUP's way of addressing their grass-roots support without all that "official party statement" malarkey?[/quote:aed1958050]

    Why would anyone jump down your throat for that idea - it makes perfect sense
  483. avatar noelyg05
    Anyone see Nolan make a prick of Frank Skinner on this last night? He made him dance around in N Irleand shirt singing 'we're not Brazil....' actually it was quite amusing
  484. avatar blonderedhead
    Was cringe tv of the highest order. Showing David Healy's goal against England just because they've got an English guest over and singing that fecking brazil song live from shaftesbury :?

    Although Frank Skinner was a fair sport and made light of it all, even if he had to sing and dance to the song in a Northern Ireland top