1. avatar T Entertainment
    The Times - but my God it really is Onion-esque

    [b:02d84c6433]The fires of Hell are real and eternal, Pope warnsRichard Owen in Rome [/b:02d84c6433]


    Hell is a place where sinners really do burn in an everlasting fire, and not just a religious symbol designed to galvanise the faithful, the Pope has said.

    Addressing a parish gathering in a northern suburb of Rome, Benedict XVI said that in the modern world many people, including some believers, had forgotten that if they failed to “admit blame and promise to sin no more”, they risked “eternal damnation — the Inferno”.

    Hell “really exists and is eternal, even if nobody talks about it much any more”, he said.

    The Pope, who as Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger was head of Catholic doctrine, noted that “forgiveness of sins” for those who repent was a cornerstone of Christian belief. He recalled that Jesus had forgiven the “woman taken in adultery” and prevented her from being stoned to death, observing: “He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.”

    God had given men and women free will to choose whether “spontaneously to accept salvation . . . the Christian faith is not imposed on anyone, it is a gift, an offer to mankind”.

    Vatican officials said that the Pope — who is also the Bishop of Rome — had been speaking in “straightfoward” language “like a parish priest”. He had wanted to reinforce the new Catholic catechism, which holds that Hell is a “state of eternal separation from God”, to be understood “symbolically rather than physically”.

    Agostino Paravicini Bagliani, a Church historian, said that the Pope was “right to remind us that Hell is not something to be put on one side” as an inconvenient or embarrassing aspect of belief.

    It had been misused in the Middle Ages to scare the impressionable with “horrific visions” of damnation, as described in Dante’s Inferno.

    It had a pedigree, however, that went back to Ancient Egypt and the Greek idea of Hades, and was described by St Matthew as a place of “everlasting fire” (Matthew xxv, 41).

    “The problem is not only that our sense of sin has declined, but also that the world wars and totalitarianisms of the 20th century created a Hell on Earth as bad as anything we can imagine in the afterlife,” Professor Bagliani said.

    In 1999 Pope John Paul II declared that Heaven was “neither an abstraction nor a physical place in the clouds, but that fullness of communion with God which is the goal of human life.” Hell, by contrast, was “the ultimate consequence of sin itself . . . Rather than a place, Hell indicates the state of those who freely and definitively separate themselves from God, the source of all life and joy”.

    In October the Pope indicated that limbo, supposed since medieval times to be a “halfway house” between Heaven and Hell, inhabited by unbaptised infants and holy men and women who lived before Christ, was “only a theological hypothesis” and not a “definitive truth of the faith”.

    Timely visions

    — “From here are to be heard sighs, and savage blows resound: then the scrape of iron, and dragged chains. Aeneas stopped, terrified, and drank in the din” Virgil, Aeneid

    — “Outer darkness . . . there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth” St Matthew

    — “A whirling storm that turns itself / for ever through that air of endless black, / like grains of sand swirling when a whirlwind blows” Dante, La Divina Commedia

    — Angels “rolling in the fiery gulf” of “ever-burning sulphur Milton, Paradise Lost

    — Locked forever in a small room with two other people Jean-Paul Sartre, writing in his play Closed Doors , published in 1944
    Last edited on , 1 times in total.
  2. avatar The Fires of Hell
    [quote:b61bd921b1]In October the Pope indicated that limbo, supposed since medieval times to be a “halfway house” between Heaven and Hell, inhabited by unbaptised infants and holy men and women who lived before Christ, was “only a theological hypothesis” and not a “definitive truth of the faith”. [/quote:b61bd921b1]

    I can think of plenty local gigs that are Purgatory.
  3. avatar The Grace Jones
    [url=http://amightywind.com/hell/aboutsounds.htm]Utterly backed up by Highly Accurate Science - THE SOUNDS OF HELL![/url]
  4. avatar bernard
    i'd like to hear about the pope's sources on this one before making my mind up

    daniel johnston's going to freak
  5. avatar Daithi jasper
    Going to?
  6. avatar The Grace Jones
    The Pope needs no sources, he has a direct line to God, surely.

    I liked old JP a lot better, this new chap is a bit scary.
  7. avatar danbastard
    [img:50ecaf77af]http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/c/cf/914thepope.JPG/776px-914thepope.JPG[/img:50ecaf77af]

    "Hell's real so it is. Now which way to the Hitler Youth meeting?"
  8. avatar Baronation
    "The Devils greatest trick was convincing the world he didn't exist." Or so I heard on TV once.
  9. avatar T Entertainment
    Have you been frequenting Monkstown Gospel Hall again?
  10. avatar Baronation
    No, Greenisland Baptist.
  11. avatar Zwaddap_deep_doo
    [quote:5760431365="T Entertainment"]

    In October the Pope indicated that limbo...... was “only a theological hypothesis” and not a “definitive truth of the faith”.

    [/quote:5760431365]

    Ah feck, I had me heart set on Limbo. Maybe the next pope will bring it back.

    At least my definitive truth of the faith list still has 'Jesus Flesh Wafer' and 'No-sex mammies'
  12. avatar feline1
    It's nice of God to burn peoples' souls in hell for eternity, isn't it?

    Well, we'd better bally well worship, hadn't we? Cos otherwise him punishing us like that would be, erm, sheer hell.
  13. avatar The Grace Jones
    Feel sorry, then, for those poor unfortunates born during the first 2,998,000 years of the human race's existence, who never really had a fair crack at being Christians...



    On the other hand, Hell certainly seems to have the numerical advantage for the forthcoming Armageddon...
  14. avatar Zwaddap_deep_doo
    I don't think even worshipping would help you at this stage feline. Conducting back-door shennanigans without being properly ordained is frowned upon.
  15. avatar T Entertainment
    By all accounts Maynooth Seminary makes Brighton's seediest saunas seem like a WI annual conference, F1. It's not too late to hear the call, my son.
  16. avatar rentaghost
    the guardian's article on this also covers buddhist hell, hindu hell and muslim hell.

    except that there doesnt seem to be a hindu hell.
  17. avatar tinpot anto
    Course there is, it's the same as the Buddhist one, although both can be considered metaphors for the state of mind into which you are reborn. ie you can experience hell on earth if your karma is bad enough.
  18. avatar Eamonn Evangelists
    I like South Park hell. It looks fun.
    [img:8d5b97b1ab]http://www.geocities.com/theevangelistsweb/pictures/southpark-hell.jpg[/img:8d5b97b1ab]
  19. avatar Baronation
    What about Bill and Ted hell?
  20. avatar thefatson
    Do they present any evidence of hell or is it still just based on the writings of tennants in a dead mans shack?

    The church = :evil: :twisted:
  21. avatar Dirty Stevie Grizz
    blah blah blah.

    There is a Hell, and the radio there is playing I Don't Feel Like Dancing and Chasing Cars on a constant loop.
  22. avatar 10rapid
    cool fm then? :D
  23. avatar die the flu
    Next he'll be declaring transubstantiation to be real :roll:
  24. avatar feline1
    Yeah, and the resurrection! :lol:
  25. avatar 3cigarettes
    Oh no hell is real i better repent my sins
  26. avatar The Grace Jones
    You don't have to repent now; you can repent on your deathbed, it still counts. In the meantime, drink down, spark up and bugger everything in sight.
  27. avatar Darragh-NDL
    [quote:eb0b34f6f9="The Grace Jones"]In the meantime, drink down, spark up and bugger everything in sight.[/quote:eb0b34f6f9]

    My dad will love that phrase next time we have our talks on religion.... in fact you two should go bowling...
  28. avatar feline1
    Yes but in further "religionists really are just BONKERS, aren't they?!?" news,
    the Gruaniad reports on the ongoing consideration for canonization for Pope John Paul II.

    http://www.guardian.co.uk/pope/story/0,,2044967,00.html?gusrc=ticker-103704

    [quote:47c7852e27]... Those arguing for the late pontiff to be made a saint believe that, from beyond the grave, he cured ...one nun from France, a woman in her mid-40s... of Parkinson's, the disease that plagued him for more than 10 years before his death.

    Monsignor Oder said he had received reports of more than 130 miracles worked by John Paul II, including cancer cures. But he said the desire for his speedy canonisation had prompted him to concentrate on the nun. "The scientific evaluation of cancer cures would have required a wait of eight to 10 years," he said.[/quote:47c7852e27]
  29. avatar I'mDead
    Sure what does the Pope know - he just sits about all day wearing his funny hat and playing X-Box Live.
  30. avatar Zwaddap_deep_doo
    He's flat out on the wii now though. I think a papal bull was just issued saying excite truck is wile craic with some bucky. Says he's not touching the Ps3 though until GTA4.
  31. avatar I'mDead
    When his mates come round, The Pope likes to play a joke where by he kicks their ass at Red Steel on Wii, and then steps back chuckling to show that it wasnt even plugged in. After his mates leave, he looks up to the sky, winks and goes 'thanks again big guy', before walking off whistling 'the imperial march'.
  32. avatar kingmob
    Aul John Paul always used to push the reset button on the NES when you were about to beat him at Tecmo Bowl, the big mentalist.
  33. avatar nonlogic liam
    If you wear one of these bad boys you'll never go to hell...


    http://www.trinstore.com/ecom_3/item_view.cfm?inventoryid=24
  34. avatar ratherfunkychemicaljunky
    [quote:33423a9822="nonlogic liam"]If you wear one of these bad boys you'll never go to hell...


    http://www.trinstore.com/ecom_3/item_view.cfm?inventoryid=24[/quote:33423a9822]

    Wear it in certain parts of NI though and you'll get there a lot faster :P
  35. avatar thepalemonarch
    [quote:70942fc00c]Aul John Paul always used to push the reset button on the NES when you were about to beat him at Tecmo Bowl, the big mentalist. [/quote:70942fc00c]


    LMFAO