1. avatar Micksimus
    Does anyone know if the guy who got a bad kicking in Katy's is ok? Some Bikers beat him to a pulp, with chairs and such, don't know how it started!!!???
  2. avatar ratherfunkychemicaljunky
    I think it may have been because the DJ played Motorhead followed by something nowhere near as metal. Can really stir up shit with some people.

    But yeah hope he's alright. Place emptied out fairly quickly afterwards.

    Did something like this happen in Lavery's as well? Went to get a taxi outside it and the police were everywhere.
  3. avatar spirit of division
    It was st paddy's nite....there's usually at least ONE fight in Belfast everytime :S
  4. avatar Kingnez
    do they still do the oul riot outside dukes that used to be well ... a riot
  5. avatar chris1984_99_99
    didnt anybody.... predict a riot?....


    ..... i'll get me coat....
  6. avatar gregz
    no problems in laverys, it was a peaceful paddys with good craic and no fights, aggro or any other shit. the police tend to stand outside laverys so they can watch the other side of the road
  7. avatar Kingnez
    what trouble in benedicts???
    never :shock:
  8. avatar thefatson
    I justs read on bbc news that a 17 year old got stabbed in the face by 5 men on the Dublin Road at 18:00 on st Paddys.

    I'm really surprised no ones dead, I feared for my life whilst trying to get out of the west on Satuday, the morlocks are so much worse when they're drunk.
  9. avatar Daithi jasper
    [quote:20988f4429]It was st paddy's nite....there's usually at least ONE fight in Belfast everytime[/quote:20988f4429]

    I would think theres at least one fight in Belfast every night. :)
  10. avatar feline1
    well, it beats paying watter raites.
  11. avatar huggy baps
    jebus, this is all very grim indeed! i went to mc Hughs and the the Rotterdam and it was great, no assholes about at all!
  12. avatar Daithi jasper
    I was in town all day, plenty of assholes of course, but no hassle at all.
  13. avatar feline1
    I attended the "20 Jazz Funk Greats" night in Brighton on said night, and we actually drank them dry of fine Beamish stout! We did not punch anyone though.
  14. avatar Kingnez
    oi bat sure thats nah craic is it is it eh?????
  15. avatar Dirty Stevie Grizz
    well, i stayed out of the town and didn't get stabbed in the face.

    which was nice.
  16. avatar Deevolution
    i reckon st.paddys day is best spent in another country or in the house with a load of mates, FU(K the town...
  17. avatar tinpot anto
    I was in Kelly's from 3pm followed by BX til 4am.

    I didn't encounter anyone who wasn't just having a bit of enjoyable craic.

    There was no Laltiness, and noone stabbed me in the face, unlike 2 weeks prior when someone accused me of pretending to be gay and said he was really thinking he was going to have to stab me.

    Nice of him to give me the option of talking him out of it. I think I may have realigned his perception (at least long enough to have the bouncer throw him out!)
  18. avatar gregz
    do you pretend to be gay?
  19. avatar T Entertainment
    The street outside the Barrowlands on SPD has to be one of the laltiest spots on earth. It makes the New Lodge Road seem like Sunset Strip. Not helped by a guldering Smitty, of course.
  20. avatar tinpot anto
    No but I do tend to exhibit a casual limp wristed manner as you may have noted.

    Oddly I found myself completely loathe to tell him I wasn't gay, but talked him round with a general discussion about life and the inherent unity of mankind.

    This was probably stupid, but I have a really incredibly high threshold for noticing danger, I just thought the wee fellah was freaking out and needed talked down. He was quite persistent that I needed to be stabbed though.
  21. avatar bernard
    you should have challenged him to a dance off
  22. avatar remedy malahide
    You should have got yer 'stabber' and challenged him to a stab off!
    Or you chould have screamed at him,
    "I've got the gay...don't touch my skin I've got the gay and you'll get it too!"
    He'd get all squirmish thinking he'd get 'the gay' giving you more than enough time to casually saunter home! :lol:
  23. avatar bernard
    or you could have taken him outside and sodomised him
  24. avatar tingtatingtingtingtating
    Funniest change of direction in a thread in a long time!!
    Fantastic. I can just imagine it - "here mate - you're leavin me no choice like.. I'm gonna haffty stab ye.. I mean - I [i:fc53af48f7]really[/i:fc53af48f7] don't want to with all the prison and things.. but fer fucks sake - yer leavin me no choice mate"
  25. avatar tinpot anto
    That's pretty much spot on;

    "I mean mate you're coming in over here and we're all like mad basterds and you are looking all gay and stuff, what's your craic like, i mean I'm gonna have to stab ye, and I will to I've stabbed people before..."

    Now picture me, with my arm round his shoulders saying,

    "Nah mate, you're alright sure, people are just dead sound and all, don't be worrying yerself sure...."
  26. avatar feline1
    [quote:14a72b275c="tinpot anto"]
    "Nah mate, you're alright sure, people are just dead sound and all, don't be worrying yerself sure...."[/quote:14a72b275c]

    Yeah but it really would've been MUCH better if it had all ended like that Very Peculiar Practice episode, "Wives of Great Men", with the mentalist straddled on the floor in a stress position by a lesbian doktor and an Oirish nurse, whilst being Sectioned and shipped off to Purdysburn.
  27. avatar tinpot anto
    My way ended up with nobody getting stabbed or wrestled to the ground or noffin.

    For this reason I feel it may have been the best course of action. ANyway it was a natural reaction to it, it was only after talking to him for 10 minutes before I realised he was actually quite serious about the stabbing thing :)

    I would point out that his urge to penetrate me was much greater than my urge to reciprocate in any event :)
  28. avatar Daithi jasper
    He had come over to me first but I thought he said 'Here he is pretending to be dead?' and I was thinking what the hell is he on?
  29. avatar feline1
    [quote:63b44ac9b5="tinpot anto"]My way ended up with nobody getting stabbed or wrestled to the ground or noffin.
    [/quote:63b44ac9b5]

    No, you just took the selfish "I'm alright, Jack" Thatcherite approach, which simply means someone else will get stabbed next time, when in reality the fellow should be locked up.
  30. avatar Daithi jasper
    No, this was a few weeks ago and he did get the bloke chucked out which given the circumstances was pretty much all he could do.
  31. avatar tinpot anto
    Naw to be fair the wee fellah was mostly having, probably a touch of the oul Colombian Collywobbles and really needed to go home with a cup of tea and a copy of the Beano.
  32. avatar feline1
    [quote:9c70f07581="tinpot anto"]Naw to be fair the wee fellah was mostly having, probably a touch of the oul Colombian Collywobbles and really needed to go home with a cup of tea and a copy of the Beano.[/quote:9c70f07581]

    Ah, Communitay Care there.
  33. avatar T Entertainment
    "when in reality the fellow should be locked up."

    And in the absence of him being executed (and if he really is into stabbing - or attempting to murder - people for their percieved sexuality, he should be), at the very least sterilised.
    I don't think doing coke is reasonable grounds for mitigation, but Christ knows your average jury tends to. :/
  34. avatar Daithi jasper
    Well we were in an illegal venue very much after hours so the cops may not have been the best idea. :)
  35. avatar feline1
    [quote:77f011670f="Daithi jasper"]Well we were in an illegal venue very much after hours so the cops may not have been the best idea. :)[/quote:77f011670f]

    And is this venue's proceeds used to fund Communitay Projects perchance?
  36. avatar tinpot anto
    Ironically it is, but you're so far off the mark in your implication I can laugh!

    see

    :lol:
  37. avatar roachodemilo
    my mate got jumped by two excuse my french c*unts outside laverys cuz he was wearing an ireland shirt!he was playing wit the hypocrites if he wasnt such a big muthafucka then he prob wud have been in hospital!apparently it was 2 UDA men looking for somebody to beat up!they picked the wrong guy they got as much of a hiding as he did!thats prob why police were outside laverys!
  38. avatar Sparky
    I went to Laverys after work and there was no fussin or a feudin the whole night. I didnt notice any police when I was leaving either.

    On the other hand when I was working on my own some tw@t tried to set fire to the place. Hats of to the police though. They sent the community patrol round on Monday like they said they would.

    Get well soon to whoever the poor guy was in Katy's who got a beating. Drunken monsters are the worst. They're always hard lads when they're drunk and in numbers. Insecure cowards is all they are. Down with this sort of thing!
  39. avatar gregz
    [quote:6f9f8f061c="roachodemilo"]my mate got jumped by two excuse my french c*unts outside laverys cuz he was wearing an ireland shirt!he was playing wit the hypocrites if he wasnt such a big <img src='http://www.fastfude.org/forums/images/smiles/013.gif' /> then he prob wud have been in hospital!apparently it was 2 UDA men looking for somebody to beat up!they picked the wrong guy they got as much of a hiding as he did!thats prob why police were outside laverys![/quote:6f9f8f061c]

    sorry to hear about that, I knew there were no incidents in Laverys, not much we can do about the idiots outside it. Hopefully the incident has been caught on camera and the cops will take action against the thugs.
  40. avatar Kingnez
    gregz did you hear about the new toilets in laverys and someone trying to set them alight the other week two fellas i know got the blame cause they were in shortly before the incident
    now im not at liberty to reveal what they were doing in there but i can tell you it was neither arson or arsetouching like behaviour
    i wouldnt mind but i always played pool with one of them every thursday post work and its pissing me off not being able to!
  41. avatar ratherfunkychemicaljunky
    Roachodemilo's version sounds right cause I would've been outside Lavery's a fair bit after it closed. I asked one of the officers if there'd been a fight and I think I remember him sayin' yes. I then asked if he'd been out on the piss as well and got told to move on.

    Was a good night.
  42. avatar Nizzer
    I got jumped 10 mins up the road from laves after leavin to get a cab, 3 gits jumped me from behind, had to get carted of to city Hp for xrays, utter cunts
  43. avatar feline1
    [quote:d1f9d0352a="Nizzer"]I got jumped 10 mins up the road from laves after leavin to get a cab, 3 gits jumped me from behind, had to get carted of to city Hp for xrays, utter <img src='http://www.fastfude.org/forums/images/smiles/108.gif' />[/quote:d1f9d0352a]

    Yeah, but still - you can't deny it'll harden ye, though?
  44. avatar T Entertainment
    Sure, it was only a bit o'craic. Or possibly you were slabberin'?
  45. avatar Nizzer
    yea bit o crak untill u need 4 x-rays and could loose your life or your eye sight, funny haha indeed, il see u laughin about it when it happens to you sure. It not funny at all mate.
  46. avatar T Entertainment
    I was being ironic - referring to the 'ah sure it's just a bit of craic' attitude which permeates SPD in Belfast, a day which invariably involves assaults, stabbings, rivers of p*ss in the streets, spides walking around flaunting their tribal colours like spastics and general unpleasantness.
    Just like the bloody 12th.
    Sorry to hear you got jumped, it's f*cking horrible I am all too aware.
  47. avatar thepalemonarch
    some bullshit gets posted on this site
  48. avatar feline1
    KILL A SPYDE!
  49. avatar Nizzer
    No probs mate, bit touchy at the mo lol, ay its utter balls tbh, irony is it happend leaving early to avoide such bs, from the looks of it there been a whol load of kickings dealt out for no reason the other night, prob is halft the one that have done it wont be picked up for it.

    T Entertainment cheers dude,
  50. avatar Strong Reaction
    I just stayed in the house away from the 'craic'.
  51. avatar gl2200
    [quote:e83fde0e1f="T Entertainment"]Just like the bloody 12th.[/quote:e83fde0e1f]

    I have to say that I'm starting to prefer the 12th to Saint Patrick's Day. Of late the lingering expectation of unprovoked violence has been stronger in March than in July. Meh. Must be my roots showing.

    Having said that, the Holylands this year seemed pleasently calm. Whether to put that down to the great efforts taken by Queens, the cold weather or the marked increase in an immigrant population from much further away than Crossmaglen, I don't know.
  52. avatar tingtatingtingtingtating
    I was in annies on SPD - in the toilet takin' a piss and a guy stood in the middle of us whilst stating, "Room for a small one lads?" which ofcourse I replied - fire away as long as your stream isn't too powerful - anyway.....

    He then said - "happy SPD lads ya havin a good time?" and I said, "Yeah! best day of the year man!" Him: "Ya think so??" Me: "Yeah - it's a great day - an excuse for a 2 day bender and for me it marks the start of the summertime and good weather!"

    The other guy then gave me a dirty look and proceeded to zip himself up - then the guy I was talkin with said "Ha! He didnt like [i:a323571e55]that[/i:a323571e55] conversation did he?" and I replied, "ha.. suppose not.." Then he said.. "Must be a protestant haha" Me: "haha.." Him: "You're catholic obviously?" Me: "Well.. no actually.." Him: "Oh right.. God.. I'm sorry mate.. I didn't know.." Me: "It's ok like - I can enjoy SPD too ya know!" Then there was much festive laughter.. and we all lived happily ever after without beating the shit out of each other!

    And that's my funny SPD anecdote.
  53. avatar unplugged
    but thing is when copius amounts of drink are introduced that conversation with another person maybe with the next person in line queued for a pish could have got you glassed. some people shouldnt take alcohol. fact.
  54. avatar tingtatingtingtingtating
    Yeah you're right - All it takes really is to be in the wrong place at the wrong time doesn't it?
  55. avatar Ric_vdb
    jeeeeze, i had no idea of all these occurences this SPD. This year was my First year not out on saint paddys day, as i was working from the early morn... as much as i missed the craic and usual banter from this celebration, im kinda glad i didnt end up out and into bother. I dunno, crime is something that overlooked far too much in Belfast - after my cousin was stabbed in town last year at city hall on a saturday night, and left permanently blind and unstable, i am extremely concious of being about town. I try not to let it bother me, it shouldnt spoil what can potentially be great fun, but subconciously, im always prioritising being safe and careful when out and about. I wish there was something that could truly be done to put an end to the crap that occurs far more often than it should. Stabbing a 17 year old in the face like?...ridiculous. Usually something happens outside kellys in the mid afternoon, glad i aint heard of anything there this year, at least!
  56. avatar Deevolution
    my first, and last st.paddys night out on the town was in 2000, bit of a pub crawl - managed to catch 6 different fights on my travels, "best" one was in the union between 2 guys and about 6-8 security guys culminating in the female head of security at the time getting lamped in the face :roll: ...each subsequent year has been spent either at home or elsewhere. i think i even took my girlfreind to the musuem one year instead of going out boozing!

    in new york i had the best st.paddys ever - everyone was like "must be awesome in belfast at st.paddys" and i'm like "nah full of fights and full of dickheads, why do you think i'm here for it!"
  57. avatar RAAP Management
    The only reason the Holylands escaped this year was because the bogmen returned to their respective bogs cos it was a Saturday, and their mammies had washing to get on.
  58. avatar feline1
    [quote:9de3637b79="tingtatingtingtingtating"]I was in annies on SPD - in the toilet takin' a piss and a guy stood in the middle of us whilst stating, "Room for a small one lads?" which ofcourse I replied - fire away as long as your stream isn't too powerful - anyway.....

    He then said - "happy SPD lads ya havin a good time?" and I said, "Yeah! best day of the year man!" Him: "Ya think so??" Me: "Yeah - it's a great day - an excuse for a 2 day bender and for me it marks the start of the summertime and good weather!"

    The other guy then gave me a dirty look and proceeded to zip himself up - then the guy I was talkin with said "Ha! He didnt like [i:9de3637b79]that[/i:9de3637b79] conversation did he?" and I replied, "ha.. suppose not.." Then he said.. "Must be a protestant haha" Me: "haha.." Him: "You're catholic obviously?" Me: "Well.. no actually.." Him: "Oh right.. God.. I'm sorry mate.. I didn't know.." Me: "It's ok like - I can enjoy SPD too ya know!" Then there was much festive laughter.. and we all lived happily ever after without beating the <img src='http://www.fastfude.org/forums/images/smiles/019.gif' /> out of each other!

    And that's my funny SPD anecdote.[/quote:9de3637b79]

    I think you should send that to Stuart Lee, he'll use it in his stand-up routine.
  59. avatar tingtatingtingtingtating
    Who's Stuart Lee?

    EDIT: It's ok - just been to www.stuartlee.co.uk
  60. avatar feline1
    Yeah, he had a very similar anecdote about "11 / 9" as he calls it, where he exchanged flatulence with an Arab in Spain whilst watching the planes strike the towers....
  61. avatar tingtatingtingtingtating
    [quote:5c6e503145="feline1"]Yeah, he had a very similar anecdote about "11 / 9" as he calls it, where he exchanged flatulence with an Arab in Spain whilst watching the planes strike the towers....[/quote:5c6e503145]

    Well I sincerely hope you're not implying I watched Mr Stuart Lee and then made up a similar story! This actually happened - I have witnesses. If the gentleman in the toilets in annies is reading this could you please come forward!
  62. avatar feline1
    No, I don't doubt that you are both merely tapping into that universal sea of the scatalogical which can but bring mankind together as one.
  63. avatar gtm
    oops
  64. avatar Hooligan
    My first post!
    [quote:6f1182cb11="tingtatingtingtingtating"][quote:6f1182cb11="feline1"]Yeah, he had a very similar anecdote about "11 / 9" as he calls it, where he exchanged flatulence with an Arab in Spain whilst watching the planes strike the towers....[/quote:6f1182cb11]

    Well I sincerely hope you're not implying I watched Mr Stuart Lee and then made up a similar story! This actually happened - I have witnesses. If the gentleman in the toilets in annies is reading this could you please come forward![/quote:6f1182cb11]
  65. avatar Hooligan
    [quote="feline1"]universal sea of the scatalogicalquote]
  66. avatar fastfude
    eh?
  67. avatar Daithi jasper
    Its a QuoteBot stealing our thoughts.. obv..
  68. avatar T Entertainment
    Lalty!


    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0GIZy0Orihg
  69. avatar The Grace Jones
    Reading comments on any NI-related videos on YouTube always makes me feel a bit suicidal.

    This however is a part of history that has totally passed me by:

    [quote:66295b9085]the Ogham bombings[/quote:66295b9085]
  70. avatar kingmob
    Upside down to fock, wha?
  71. avatar thesneakybandit
    [quote:68fb54a96f="The Grace Jones"]This however is a part of history that has totally passed me by: [quote:68fb54a96f]the Ogham bombings[/quote:68fb54a96f][/quote:68fb54a96f]

    it was the single biggest spelling atrocity of the last 40 years. :-D
  72. avatar Darragh-NDL
    Distinctly heard our lovely diva in that vid say "I knawcked yer ballacks in!"

    maybe she tipped the landrover?
  73. avatar feline1
    Ogham bombings! They were almost as bad as the Pictish Prolapse Perpetrations....

     ᚃᚉᚌᚏᚔᚗ ᚃᚉᚌᚏᚔᚗ ᚃᚉᚌᚏᚔᚗ ᚃᚉᚌᚏᚔᚗ ᚃᚉᚌᚏᚔᚗ ᚃᚉᚌᚏᚔᚗ
  74. avatar manuel@welldonefillet
    This would make you wanna start a fight!!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nda_OSWeyn8

    The special flute!!! hahahahahaha
  75. avatar 3cigarettes
    Who else see the leprechaun say yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
  76. avatar Dirty Stevie Grizz
    the commentary on that land rover video is the greatest i've heard since Princess Diana's funeral
  77. avatar Darragh-NDL
    Northern Irish accents are the closest to Mr Shakespeare's....you can fully understand this fact with that land rover video,